~biGgeR thAn My imaGinAtiOn~

2010-03-23T08:57:00.004+08:00

i love this song, as i came across this. (:
i thought the lyrics to be rather meaningful, it touches my heart as i recalled the journey 2 of us took.. and when love is found....

When Love is found and hope comes home,
sing and be glad that two are one.
When love explodes and fills the sky,
praise God and share our Makers joy.

When love has flowered in trust and care
build both each day, that love may dare
To reach beyond homes warmth and light
to serve and strive for truth and right.

When love is tried as loved ones change,
hold still to hope though all seems strange,
Till ease returns and love grows wise
through listening ears and opened eyes.

When love is torn and trust betrayed,
pray strength to love till torments fade,
Till lovers keep no score of wrong,
but hear through pain loves Easter song

Praise God for love, praise God for life
in age or youth, in husband, wife.
Lift up your heart let love be fed
through death and life in broken bread.

love u!
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the past few days hasnt been easy for me i guess. praying that things will change for the better. and hope that God will continue to be the centre and blessing our lives.

i left Job for a while! time to get back on it! is always a joy to be reading and meditating His Word, aint it? was encouraged by a friend's reflection this morning! Thank God for such a morning! (:

2010-02-08T10:54:00.003+08:00

felt kinda funny.
haha, i think i should really get a change of environment. i do believe in the importance of around ppl who are on fire for God. here makes my spirit down. :( felt myself always defending and being criticised at.. boo! (though i know they may not know what i mean) still i love them, a loving bunch, will be able to progress IF i am a non-christian. but to drop my faith for this kinda friendship, no thanks! (:

oopss, being on this pms mood! haha... emoing.. so not me, dunno where did i learn this emo-ism from. hur. (:

work been alright, kinda looking forward to a change environment, yet a sentimental me, is resistance to change. haha, what a contradiction la.

went to lawrence's ahma's place last night. haa, quite an insight to see another family gathering, is kinda different from mine, guess cos mine is a bigger family bah. and is always very noisy due to the clusters of aunties grp, uncles cum some aunties grp, adult cousins grp, younger cousins grp, and the forever loud TV. (: that's my family. another i found abt myself is i dun fancy vegetarian food. but if there is, i guess i will just opt for the real vege (: haha, i think the curry vege was nice.. (: and ah ma is cute, just like mine too! ah ha.. mine can nag at the same thing over an interval of 1 min max! fantastic! (:

(i also wanna go on hols!! will u bring me? :P)

2010-02-05T11:35:00.003+08:00

hai feeling so upset.. why?
i am afraid to think further, yet there is always one solution to end it all together..

anyway, happy birthday Jac! (:
guess haven been really spending time with u too, so sorry that today cant meet u as well!
well, we are meeting next tue though! (:

CNY is coming, and i haven gotten anything done yet.. which is kinda bad though.
i need to pack my stuff, and i need to get new stuff!
hopefully can make a trip down PPC, to breath in a little of the cny breath!

nothing much to update, tml the 1st session of Spiritual Badgework! needs prayer on that.. (:

deep down, i still miss u though... hai... what a weekend..

2010-02-03T13:33:00.002+08:00

Happy NEW YEAR! haha.. a little late but well... (:

am unhappy today!!!!!! sian...

why do you give birth when u know that the children that you give birth to will curse ur life?
why do u even want to go to a fortune teller to know if this child will bless u, if not, u gonna abort?

hai... i find myself wanting to give an answer but yet i cannot convince. so upset with myself and i have to rant here.

heard abt the life story of a girl who was 'abandoned' because she is a curse to the family business. then to the parents, why do u still want to give birth? makes the girl felt so unloved. it sound like a typical drama but yet it is so real. i think i was upset and frustrate a little. this story is so sad, makes me want to cry.

on the other hand, i felt thankful for my family.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
in the new year, guess this year will be a busy year, perhaps exciting too! with the transitions i have... (:

The Lord has been good too! pray that He will continue to guide me.. (:

2009-11-25T13:24:00.003+08:00

yay!!! i finally found the soy i have been looking for!
Suntec had this salad bar called "Grand Salad" and i really love this soy that they added to it.
*yummy*

Serving Suggestion

Ideal for soups, salad dressings, vegetable sauces and oriental cooking.

Ingredients

Water, soya beans, sea salt, koji (Aspergillus oryzae).

Nutritional Information

per 100g:
Energy 372kJ/89kcal, Protein 11.1g, Carbohydrate 10.8g, Fat 0.1g.

Other Information

Tamari soy sauce is a traditional Japanese product. Soya beans are naturally fermented in cedar casks, resulting in a unique, robust flavour.
More commonly used in cooking, Tamari is richer than Shoyu and has a stronger, sharper taste and aroma, so less is needed to bring out the flavour of your favourite dishes.

Gluten Free, Less than 5% fat, Organic, Yeast Free

Dinner cum chit chat with Sharony

2009-11-18T22:09:00.001+08:00

Finally a day that I can meet up with Sharony!
The closest friend I have in church.. :)
Had a nice dinner at Aerin.. Kinda steep though but well, thought the food was not that bad to me.. Haa hope to u too! :)

Had some chit chat.. Thanks for the reminder again.. :)
Yeah not easy, but persevere on..
At least for now, not gonna move out of where we are, but I guess is really to take the initiatives again..

So not easy.. But yea.. Hai...

P/s: thanks Sharony! Haa left a love note @ ur desk!
P/s: I thought of u! - butt n teo... :D

2009-11-10T14:40:00.007+08:00

All i want for Christmas is...... YOU!!!

haa.. for whoever that picks my name, i know what i wanted!!! (: just wonder if you can really gets it here... (: if u do, i will be soooo happy! (see below k)

this or...

or this...

TADA! the last being my favourite!! the latest design.. haha but guess if i lay my hands on either one, will still be happy.. (:
initially saw this design on the watch, which i love it too! then i saw it on wristlet and i changed my love one!(:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

haven been posting for a while.. (:
well.. am really glad that i managed to have a chat with ah hui on faith and Christianity issues..
she has been one that i didnt get to talk much to about, thinking she only depends on herself. had a nice chat and am inviting her for Christmas service! (: praying that she and daniel can attend.

it is also a nice feeling to have ur good fren going with u for any of the wedding stuff.. (:
to be able to share some ideas and to laugh at some stuff or even to think of some stuff that the bf can never understand - the man just dont get it!

am glad that we settled one thing.. (:
a dream wedding...

:)

2009-11-03T13:47:00.000+08:00

I had fun at the GB camp!!! :) guess I do miss spending time with GB girls.. :)

Am glad too we can start our bs soon! ;)
Really hope more girls can come but also scare am inadequate :(

What I was glad was the bf visit! Haa, though not directly, but still feel good abt it :) haa..

Dunno why these few days been rather weird.. Hai :(

Ah.. Drop it... Sian...

Anyway this post is for me to try out using iphone.. :)

The Beginner's Bible - Jesus and His Miracles - [3/3]

2009-10-30T18:20:00.001+08:00

The Beginner's Bible - Jesus and His Miracles - [2/3]

2009-10-30T18:19:00.001+08:00

The Beginner's Bible - Jesus and His Miracles - [1/3]

2009-10-30T18:18:00.001+08:00

Jesus' Love Letter

2009-10-30T13:48:00.001+08:00

2009-10-21T11:59:00.002+08:00

came across this on facebook.. how i miss the younger days!
playing the childish games and sweating ourselves out... (:

here's the sch song!

we belong to woodsville primary school
we always obey the golden rule
early to bed and early to rise
off to school to learn to be wise

we appear well-groomed and neatly dressed
all prepared to do our best
with keen minds and eager hands
we will work as hard... as ants

to woodsville, woodsville, here we come
to the school that greets the rising sun
always prevail through perseverance
onwards everyone

2009-10-15T16:38:00.003+08:00

Forgiveness is the glue that repairs broken relationships

yup.. this is what i read in QT today online..
is forgiveness easy? haa.. to me it seems easy.. maybe cos i am forgetful.. (:
cant help to feel sad that is it for a decade yr of friendship.. laughing at so many things in the past.. but now no longer.. dun really know where i can hide so i dun see ur face and thus can hide my feelings too... this is it! tired to ponder how.. just looking ahead..

hai, felt so choked.. it has been a while and yet we gonna talk abt it again..
feeling a little dread abt it, but i know it will help u..

i am bored @ work..
then read QT on this.. and i thot of the many many things that went through recently..

today's yahoo headline, the recent flats have been over subscribed! right...
haa.. am excited abt it.. but guess pretty much is the same result as the previous time.. :(
looking forward though... (:

2009-09-21T22:25:00.003+08:00

20.09.2009

a date to remember... (:

the bf gave a surprise and am touched for the things that he had done.

my prayer will be that God will be pleased and continue to be the centre of our lives.

thanks for going through the planning, the sacrifices made for me..

haaa.. nv knew u could think of such a surprise. but well... knowing u, doing this is already a nice thing for me.. (: thanks for doing so much and for loving me!

and ecp is really a place that brought back much memories... (:

Hillsong - This is Our God - With Subtitles/Lyrics

2009-09-10T15:36:00.001+08:00

Your grace is enough
More than I need
And your word I will believe
I wait on You
You're near again
And you spirit make me new

And I will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And I will worship you here

Your presence in me
Jesus left them there
By the power of your word
I am restored
I am redeemed
By your spirit I am free

And I will fall at Your feet
I will fall at your feet
And I will worship You here

The feeling You gave all for us
Surrendered Your life upon the cross
Great is the love brought up for all
This is our God

Lifted our life from death to life
Forever our God is glorified
Certain the king rescued the world
This is our God

And I will fall at Your feet
I will fall at Your feet
And I will worship You here

And I will fall at Your feet
I will fall at Your feet
And I will worship You here

this is simply awesome!

2009-09-02T17:17:00.003+08:00

I have been pondering over what was shared during lunch.. haa.. guessed you are wrong this time!
It really set me thinking this time round that silence is not always golden! *bleah*

went to read utmost, decided to do some reading since i have some spare time and i am feeling grouchy. (after reading, realised it wasnt today, but well, quite apt)

ppl say to me i am faithful. am i really faithful?
The goal of faithfulness is not that we will do work for God, but that He will be free to do His work through us. God calls us to His service and places tremendous responsibilities on us. He expects no complaining on our part and offers no explanation on His part. God wants to use us as He used His own Son.

Which reminds me of our last week studies. the qns raised (let me share in my understanding) - when we work, we do with our heart in obedience. How about doing it but with a heavy heart, or simply don't feel like doing it? think this qns kept in my mind because often time i do feel it. i do it but i dun feel like doing it. is it being obedient? what if it is not what God wants me to do? haa.. it led to so many qns!

my take was that if it is not where God wants me to go, He will call me out. How? i do not know, but when it comes a point that i need to make a decision, i will have a peace at heart. How about doing w/o the heart? my take was it requires obedience to do so, and a simple Faith. Afterall, if it doesnt go against God, and it can be a good testimony, being a salt and a light to the dark world, why not?

i guess i am getting impatient with my growth. i know i didnt want it this way thus i made myself read merely for the sake of reading. For eg for 1 Chron, ask me what i have learnt? i will say is boring! this is sooooo wrong! :(

guess the advice given to me set me thinking. which is good also la.

2009-08-01T02:18:00.005+08:00

i rem how jac got mad at me when i made changes to the plans we have.
and i guess i know how jac felt..
now...
each plan made, i am excited.. even packing my bag and getting my clothes ready the night be4.. sound like a little girl? i am that excited, yes i am! i do understand things have to change, due to unforeseen circumstances, but i dun mean this. guess i feel that because is an expectation of mine. sorry for being so selfish and not considering u, ur stand, ur ability..

i may have repeated it afew times, abt ur changing ideas, changing plans..i know u want to please me, as much as i will want to please u too..i may have forgotten what was said and done exactly, but guess, i rem how i felt..this reminded me of the seminar i attended by Dr Huang, invited by FOTF.

always thot was being nice & thoughtful.. nv had such a hurtful convo.. uncontrollable still...i never meant it to be any hurtful. take it am insensitive... yest was like this, today too..

am looking forward to tml, been on my lips for a week long... and so excited i was...already had plans in mind what gonna take place till the time comes..now the feeling is so different...

really hope will feel better after a sleep... i dun like this seriousy.. hurt
but i cant calm down even after i blogged
wad abt tml? if u dun begin, i wont feel any better.. anyway guess u wont read this..

2009-06-04T07:41:00.002+08:00

hmm... having a weird feeling..
suddenly in a not-sure-what-to-do state..
am free this weekend.. kept fri free to acc teo if she needs, but she also aint sure if she will be free..
just worried she may need someone to be with her..

as for sat.. 4-6pm prayer time! follow which house warming at leaf's? well, unless going with jy, else will be kinda weird.. so morning gonna meet up with van.. and after that?

sun, as usual, church.. and then?

hmmm realised in the past was packed with activities, wont be filled with so much uncertainty.. i think i am more reliance, which isnt good sometime...

jy asked me a qns that made me ponder so who are the ones closest to me?
haa.. it begins by her qns on who are the close friends that she made in church.. which reminded me of what cousin yt told me on sun..

sometimes i wonder is it i am not thinking hard enough or she is simply thinking too much?
i answered her the friends i made in church may not be the closest but can be built..

the chat with her yesterday made me realised how different perspectives we both have. how she see hopeless-ness and i see faithfulness.. (:

2009-05-21T11:20:00.002+08:00

yay! i finally found the song that i have been hearing!

At the Cross (hillsong)

Oh Lord You’ve searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There’s no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now

You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done

And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
I know You love me
_____________________________
the chorus touches me the most.
i remembered i used to kneel and pray, facing my window...

2009-05-15T11:37:00.020+08:00

i have received some photos from the rest on Kelly's wedding... (: shall post some of it here...
guess is more of our own photos than of the bride & groom... oops.. :P

arent them beautiful? (: am happy for her..

one of her evening gown...

the receptionists...

the receptionists...

haha.. one of the 'receptionist' (:

us! (:

us again...

the emceessss... (: my mandarin parner sy..

and the grand finale... (:

all work done and the couple is having a good time now in USA! (:
______________________________________________________

alright, after all the posting..
recently had a lot of thoughts after meeting ppl.. guess i have reached a limit..
and a resolution! happy!! (:

next... my job... :(
one down.. 2 more options to go.. Lord, lead me, will You?

read Utmost, the habit of enjoying adversity..
guess is a timely reminder?
going through the tough times with Him will enable me to experience Him deeper.. (:

recently came across a nice song.. shall post e lyrics when i found it..

2009-05-11T09:46:00.002+08:00

yest marked a new journey for Yongky & Kelly.. such a sweet couple.. (:

reached Hilton as early as 2pm (supposedly 230pm), so head off to have a quick lunch with the bf.
haha, the bf had to accompany me ard Hilton, waiting alone for my hair do which took abt 30 mins, and accompany me again till abt 430 pm since i am the only one being so early... *thanks muchie!*

had my rehearsal @ e ballroom.. cool! 24th floor... i think it is my first time being in a high ballroom...
it is a small & cosy ballroom with about 23 tables, behind it is a swimming pool, where the couple held their solemnization..

tried out as my first time being an emcee..
it went well, however, i missed a line! oops.. not that obvious though since it is just a linking line.
thankfully, sy (mandarin emcee) noticed it, and skipped her portion too.. :P

such a busy day yesterday and am so drained today @ work.. dozing.. Zzzz
only managed to start off with a chapter of 2 King.. :P
*trying k*

2009-05-07T14:37:00.005+08:00

Yongky did a song dedication to Kelly! (:
so sweet... the song must have depict the love that Yongky has for Kelly and his desire to grow old together with her..

so here i am, using my blog, to record this sweet moment...
(i recalled i also blogged on how Yongky did his proposal! (: )
wishing them the fullest blessing from the bottom of my heart. (:

"Grow Old With You"

[Billy Idol (Speaking):] Good afternoon everyone.
We're flying at 26,000 feet, moving
up to thirty thousand feet, and then we've got clear skies
all the way to Las Vegas, and right now we're bringing you some in-flight
entertainment. One of our first-class passengers would like to sing you a song
inspired by one of our coach passengers, and since we let our first-class
passengers do pretty much whatever they want, here he is.

[Robbie Hart (Singing):]
I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I'll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

Need you
Feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you
_____________________________________________
imagine you & him (her), growing old together and still holding hands along the street. (:

2009-04-29T13:15:00.002+08:00

so much to give thanks for!

thanks for finally being able to meet me..
i waited for so long, so when u asked for a meal, i would surely go! (:
it went well, i supposed. at least having an understanding to the questions i have in mind.
i thank the Lord for the friendship shared still, the many jokes made and the many whinning we had. so fun!
things changed. maybe like what you said, we have grown up.
will take heed and try it out, hopefully we can all adjust together. (:
nevertheless, thanks!

lawrence came to pick me.
it gave lots of comfort. thanks for listening to me too. not easy for me now i guess, with this transitions.. shall take some time to adjust. thanks for being so patience too.. (:

Mei Yen read my blog regularly! (:
haa.. hi!!
lazy to blog for awhile.. well, at least u showed me there's another one who still visit this dead blog.. (: have a nice week yeah...

2009-04-23T08:42:00.002+08:00

know. i hope i am not being complacent..

this morning devotion reminded me to keep my focus on God - in everything that i do.
i wonder the dissatisfaction i have at work is it due to my lack of focus on Him.
i often doubted, but i thought i have been involving Him in my work..

anyway..

alot of things will fall in places when we have We in the center. a God-centered life is freedom that God had given to us. but it seems like many have forgotten abt Him, or did not even want to acknowledge Him. sometimes i wonder why is it so hard?

i often ask, if there is a rebirth, where do the incense/burnt offering goes to?
they cannot answer me... living in denial again..
isnt it nice to attend church as a family tog? -dreams-

my prayer of salvation.....

am thankful that you enjoyed yourself yesterday. (:
rather interesting day i thought....

2009-04-21T07:52:00.003+08:00

phew....

came back from a malacca trip with my family.. was reluctant to go in the first place, since miao had invited me to her NP annual parade and i promised that i will be there to support her. well, mom insisted so there i went... Lawrence came along too, ha guess if he hadn't i will be sulking within me for missing the parade. sorry cousin miao.. hope u had fun yea? update me more when i see u...

Thank God for him, he was there to carry ahma's stuff, to take nice pictures of us, and the best part, to me, he could spend time with my family and a getaway for him to relax.

this is my first trip to malacca.. haa.. visited some places such as Jonker Street, St Paul's Church, Chirst Church Melaka, The Little Nonya (e show) filming ground, bees museum etc.. realised Melacca is a small little square town.. but the weather was a killer... after some walking and climbling, i perspired all over... bleah... overall, a rather fun trip..(:

butt:see photos in facebook or his blog...? lazy to post here.... missed u... (:

2009-04-16T15:19:00.003+08:00

am sick... down with mc again.. in 2 weeks, taken mc twice.. wonderful!
thanks for the love showered, it comforted my heart. (:

was down with a bad sore throat yest, but went ahead to meet su-lynn and after abt 2 hrs of sharing, my voice gave in..

we had a good chat i should say. it began with Lawrence.
After hearing her experience, it became clearer to me that i am not the only one undergoing the same process, which was pretty encouraging. She gave advice too, from her opinion. shared with her the plan we have, how we have been etc...

haha, realised she is the only person so far who see what i faced/will faced, guess because she knew Lawrence very well. thank God for the encouragement she shared, felt was an assurance that God gave me too. the blessing and sharing she gave to us, is so different, at least a different thing i am hearing from ppl who are concern abt us. (: had fun chatting with her.

shared with her about the desire in my heart that God prompted. as she shared, i could feel some similarity with her. how we both want to reach out to the girls/youth and how we want to be with them 24/7 if we can. shared how in the past, back at 34th, i could spend each day being with the girls, be it tutoring, praying or just hanging out with them, building a relationship with them. we both see time as an important factor when it come to building these relationship. of cos, now thing changes, i will need to know which is the ministry that i will want to be involved actively in, and to give time to the other half too. (:

well, she provided useful insight to my option of considering full time. i wanted to lay clear path and to pray about them.
1) to remain in the line
2) to be accepted as a teacher
3) full time ministry

full time was rather grey initially, but i sorta know how i can begin right now. so i guess will start looking at some christian organisations and explore..
this gonna be pretty exciting i guess, so will quickly list them down and start praying.. (:
guess the biggest issue that all will face is the acceptance of family and financial issue. sigh...
it is to put trust in God's providence. will i have that big faith? i know what my heart desire.
qns is do i trust Him to lead me?

such an inspiring night, thank God for it.

2009-04-08T13:59:00.003+08:00

complaints abt taking a budget airplane to aussie or bali?
sometimes i cannot understand the thoughts that ppl hold.

u want to have a relax time overseas, yet u complaint abt the cost.
u want good service yet u mind paying the extra.
u want everything up to ur expectation yet u want to minimize its cost.

how?

isnt it a give and take? u pay for what u asked for.

okie, just a lunch and it caused me to blog abt it..
guess the living standard in sg is high, thus we may have a higher expectation & our ks-ism sets in as well.

not that it bother me much anyway.. (:

had a chat with u..
i thot it was kinda nice since it was a while since we chatted.
always had the impression that sch work is occupying u..
i felt that you seems to have a certain perception that u cannot resolve and bingo! i was right
maybe i shouldnt have treated u as a little girl, guess that's one of the disadvantages of my 'motherly' nature.

alot of mixed feelings for the past weeks.. though it was buried deep down..
i always thought it wont be a prob esp so when you treat ppl with ur heart.
and i do have an expectation, that you will understand me.. much like a telepathy (:
in fact, it is pointless to talk abt things that happened for so long isnt it? esp when i will sleep through it.

hai.. i wonder when i will recover from this? time? for me or for u to adapt?
is it really an issue on adaptation?

many apologies for this post.. just my random thoughts (:

2009-03-17T11:29:00.002+08:00

one down, one more to go...

really am thankful to those that helped out.sometimes, i wonder what i got myself into...

thanks for meeting me & the nice meal..
not all expensive food are good food, it can be a simple place with yummy food! (:

had a nice breakfast today..
it has been a while since i had mac breakfast.. (:

work this few days been alright...
not that there isnt anything to do.. but guess is the usual, mundane stuff...
went to warehouse to do a tagging of fixed asset.. warehouse is so messy and just messy!
tired.. stinked.. but had a nice meal and cab to and fro, so what more can i ask for?
easily contented indeed..

yeah, am easily contented....
so the proposal that u came out with in fact are rather fine with me..
but i feel it gonna be tough for us..
however, am thankful with ur sharing.. (:
yes, will trust & support u in that..

2009-03-06T12:37:00.002+08:00

Some say love, It is a river,
That drowns the tender ring,
Some say love, It is a razor,
That leads your soul to bleed,
Some say love, It is a hunger,
And endless aching need,

I say love, It is a flower,
And you its only seen,
It's the heart, Afraid of breaking,
That never, Learns to dance,
It's the dream, Afraid of waking,
That never, Takes the chance,
It's the one, Who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to be,
And the soul, Afraid of dying,
That never, Learns to live,

And the night, Has been too lonely,
And the rode, Has been too long,
And you feel, That road is only,
For the lucky, And the strong,
Just remember, In the winter,
Far beneath, The bitter snow,
Lies a seed, That with the suns love,
In the spring, Becomes a rose
--------------------------------------------
just heard this song.. i do like e tune.. (:

2009-03-02T23:12:00.002+08:00

took a walk at pebble bay.. yay finally!
thanks so much for the surprise, for coming down (:
felt much better seeing you..

thanks for helping me to prepare for bs! (:
helps my thoughts to process, hopefully i can handle it..
enjoyed preparing bs too!

aiyo... u aint responding to me...
u slept already??

2009-02-27T09:05:00.003+08:00

aint happy when you are unhappy.
these few days woke up having the reluctance to do something..
and there's this unsettled feeling inside me for very long, it is so unusual for it to be inside for so long..

maybe my focus has shifted..
today read In The Upper Room, i realised i haven spend ample time with Him.
my focus over the last period wasnt on Him, which is my fear..

last night, u told me i am cautious, yes i think i am..
on one hand i didnt want to discourage you and on the other hand i wanted to prepare myself
i wish to have the time to imagine abit, to adjust abit, to get myself ready..
i didnt feel happy going back these few days.. i do feel discouraged and disappointed too.. i do feel the difference..

sometimes i wonder is it i cannot read you well enough..
--------------------------------------------------------------------
remaining still, knowing that You are God, the one in control.

2009-02-26T09:00:00.002+08:00

finally........

i went to Henderson Waves yest night! (: (yes Ivy, please see this and feel guilty
it is really really beautiful.. great to have you ard..
thank you for searching with me.. (no thanks to your attempt to scare me! hurmp!)
(was kinda disappointed if we gonna miss this and head for sentosa instead...)

thanks for being so patient & really nice towards me..
really appreciated it and thank God for you!

didnt know that u have such an intention behind it..
anyway didnt know how the convo geared towards u revealing it.. but i do appreciate that thoughts..
----------------------------------------------------------------

slept late last night and finding myself waking up at 5am...
then i cuddled myself and went back to sleep, waking up again at 610am, so tired..
decided not to follow dad's ride to office..

i really wasnt showing any attitude.. hai... :(

2009-02-20T08:57:00.002+08:00

Praise to the Lord, Almighty

Praise to the Lord, the Almighty,
the King of creation!
O my soul, praise Him, for He is thy
health and salvation!
All ye who hear,
Now to His temple draw near;
Sing now in glad adoration!

Praise to the Lord, who o'er all
things so wondrously reigneth,
Who, as on wings of an eagle,
uplifteth, sustaineth.
Hast thou not seen
How thy desires all have been
Granted in what He ordaineth?

Praise to the Lord, who hath fearfully,
wondrously, made thee!
Health hath vouchsafed and, when
heedlessly falling, hath stayed thee.
What need or grief
Ever hath failed of relief?
Wings of His mercy did shade thee.

Praise to the Lord, who doth prosper
thy work and defend thee,
Who from the heavens the streams of
His mercy doth send thee.
Ponder anew
What the Almighty can do,
Who with His love doth befriend thee.

Praise to the Lord! Oh, let all that
is in me adore Him!
All that hath life and breath, come
now with praises before Him!
Let the Amen
Sound from His people again;
Gladly for aye we adore Him.

-----------------------------------------------------
indeed, Praise to God for His wondrous work!

(:
am glad weekend is here again!

2009-02-01T00:45:00.003+08:00

am blogging to motivate people to blog... what an irony..
was blogging in faithbook, but decided to change to cont here, reason being, i wanna do a whole break down of what God spoke to me in Colossians! haha... think that will take me awhile...
but aint it cool to share what God spoke in details? (:

hasnt been blogging for awhile as i was writing my thoughts in a separate document...
i never once let anyone read my diary except for an open blog like this..
therefore, treasure it! (: (i know you will)

work for the past few days had been a killer... maybe also cos of the long breaks in dec and jan, hence, work seems hectic... just closed my accounts for dec 08 and now i am closing for jan 09... how fast time flies!

now the next thing to look forward to is drill competition in mar! the major event of the year!!
laying things down at His feet and knowing that God is in control...

CNY has been rather different this year, maybe cos visited pastor boon seng & aunty pat, and visted Wen wei & Bee lan, people i have never visited before.. and it was really interesting...
had lunch with pastor and dinner with WW... and that's how i spent my 3rd day of cny..

as for 2nd day, went over to Lawrence's place in the morning, it was a nice trip.. and special note: the dog is soooo cute still.. haa... i do have a good impression of the family too, nice and friendly (at least to me). after which was my place, elisa and ph came along.. (: and lastly dinner @ sharon's place... nice hospitality.. guess by then i am too tired to even help out and all... (:

1st day is the usual thing, with me being at grandma's place early in the morning then home the rest of the day.. it ended off with Lawrence coming over to my place at night and having us bringing my siblings out for a blading session and pool... (:

that's mostly what has been happening so far and i am happy.. (:
thanks again for always driving me around...
thanks too for being around..
and many thanks for the things u have done... (:

2009-01-13T08:09:00.002+08:00

A Qns being asked..

"Faith is not something man contributes to salvation but is itself a part of God's gift of salvation - it is God's gift to the sinner, not the sinner's gift to God"

my perspective was that nothing that i give to God can be classified as a gift to Him.my view is that i see that myself, a sinner, and God gave His son for me, is already the best gift that i have ever received, hence no amount of gift i give can be compared to that. on the other hand, i will like to say that all that i have-everything, i offer it up to Him. Just like offering my life as a living sacrifices to Him, to acknowledge the Lordship of Him in my life.

WW shared that sacrifices can also be things that we are comfortable with in our lives. (:
above is my humble perspective, and salvation comes from faith not by works..
aint sure if i answer ur qns...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
i really have no idea why did i say that prayer last night...
oh no.... felt that it was a wrong move...
hmmm....
anyway spent a longer time praying abt it last night...

2009-01-12T08:47:00.002+08:00

will often hair blowing damage hair???
think i heard this somewhere be4.....
(i've been using it almost everyday!!!!) oh dear.....

attended Justin's wedding @ Grand Shanghai..
a nice ambience... is really a special wedding that i have attended so far..
and as usual, the bride- Karen is really pretty.. (:
so this filled up the whole sat with abt an hr spent at HQ with the drill peeps.. (:

thanks for driving me ard despite ur tiredness...
haha... and sorry for not letting you nap, but to settle my laptop.. rather ours (sis and mine)

caught Passengers... initially thought it was kinda boring show.. however, it is kinda exciting and nice towards the end.. (: kinda a nice show afterall...

work today seems alittle slow.. guess better to build the momentum and start clearing before the busy cny period comes... (:

was talking to jy.. haa again..
well... i do hope things will get better... sad eh..

2009-01-09T01:34:00.004+08:00

was waiting for him to get back home.. so blog for a while..

sorry for not being able to help you feel better..
thought maybe is better for me to give u more space and just follow wherever you go...
will be praying for the things you shared today, in fact, when i prayed the last time be4 we begin, i already told God that that should be where it is heading. perhaps, is kinda too fast all a sudden ba.. (:

but one thing to be assured is i am happy & blessed.. (:
glad that u called to inform me today, was worried, so uttered a short prayer for u and the driver.. glad things are over, though costing another hole or bigger, but i guess is fine afterall yeah.. (: a nice ending...

caught Transporter 3 today.. and we met avril..
is a nice show and i enjoyed it...(:

okie... i should sleep...
gonna pray and sleep..

2009-01-06T23:55:00.004+08:00

*yay* finally accounts is closed!
2 nights... am beaten by it le..

today work went alittle lighter in the day.. so was chatting all day long... (:
hmmm was encouraged to consider moving into serving God full time in church..
not that i mind, but guess is some restrictions that i dunno how to settle...
alright, will pray and seek Him. i always prefer a direct answer, wonder will He answer me the same way this time... (:

walked up back home today... kinda having a funny feeling....
well, realised been a while since i walked up myself... (:
-you are missed- (:
--------------------------------------------
wanted to tell you that but decided not to.
sense that something is wrong le..
but i really didnt stayed longer merely cos of filing..
felt so sad, dun think u got me...
and is not doesnt matter to me know...?

2009-01-06T00:41:00.002+08:00

am tired... just got back from work... but am touched! (:
am touched by the things that you have done...
they are not little to me, and it does matter...
didnt want to learn to over rely too much on you or to take you for granted (all this shouldnt be),
however, glad this hectic and long day didnt just end with a taxi driver at my door step.. but you..

sy told me to keep the text, haha... when i saw it(not the full sms), i do thought it was some pass-it-on sms... until i viewed the whole mgs.. so cute! and innovative... haha.. and for a while my heart was lightened and brightenedd... cant stop laughing at it, but it is indeed u who will send it.. (: i thank God for you to bring some warmth to this hectic day.. (:

i do agree that everyday should be liken to a honeymoon (:
thanks for having to meet my schedule and driving me ard and just being there or rather letting me know you are there! *hugs*

tml another day of work... i miss holidays... what i truely want now is time for me to enjoy nature!! haha that's how i relax i guess... (: when will closing end?!?! haha...

started on Joshua... okie yes i know am super behind.. haa.. but afterall is not the time that matters hor?? plus so many boooks hor?? (:

alright off to bed.... good nites to all... and to you! (:

2008-12-29T10:29:00.001+08:00

Sing to the King

Sing to the King who is coming to reign
Glory to Jesus the Lamb that was slain
Life and salvation, His empire shall bring
Joy to the nations when Jesus is King

Chorus:
Come let us sing a song
A song declaring we belong to Jesus
He is all we need
Lift up a heart of praise
Sing now with voices raised to Jesus
Sing to the King

For his returning we watch and we pray
We will be ready the dawn of that day
We'll join in singing with all the redeemed
Satan is vaquished and Jesus is King!
-------------------------------------------

the song is ringing in my head...
and the book of esther too... (:

2008-12-28T21:35:00.002+08:00

these 5 days of long break seems to pass so fast!
things also changed very fast... the sudden concern and attention that i received...
the many ppl that i got to talk to... the time that we spent together....
haa... but am happy...

guess not really that stress afterall, since u are already cushioning them... (: thanks so much..
am glad ppl ard me are happy as well...
thanks for sharing so much with me at east coast park.. enjoyed the talk and the breeze..
and enjoyed having u ard too.. (:
i really do feel pampered...

haha.. as i recalled 25th, u seems to owe me something huh... (:
but it was funny to see u like this...
though am blur (to u), but will always remember and treasure the moments together..
-hugs-
and praying that God will be the center of this... (:

God had been great to my family..
heard my uncle who was one seeking medium all along, came to acknowledge Jesus as the Lord and Savior! AMEN! was so happy to hear that..
and God had been great to me at Kaleo camp too... experienced His love once again... now each time during worship, am glad that i can truely feel myself coming before Him with a heart of worship and offering myself to Him.. (:

2008-12-15T23:38:00.002+08:00

this entry was supposed to be posted on 15th Dec... apparently it wasnt...
am feeling so tired these days.. guess is the late nights, or rather am sure, but yet i cant sleep too early.. haa.. what an irony..

felt blessed and touched these days..
the many things that took place, big or small warmth my heart... (:
firstly, thanks for waking so early with me to get the cake.. & making sure there is a cake on da 14th...
and guess secondly, are the little things frens ard me did.. which i appreciated much..
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Merry Christmas to all!
here's how i spent my Christmas... haa.. kinda special for this yr..
on e eve had a svr in church, and headed to catch a movie after all! sound like a usual thing to do..

after movie.. time to head back..
thanks for the watch.. (really love it lots...)
thanks for the effort put in.. kinda sweet of u..
really pray for God to be the center of this as well..
thanks once again for making this Christmas so special.. (:
lastly, thanks for all you have done..

nites....

2008-12-12T08:19:00.004+08:00

came early today for work...
well ended up was trying to run through my songs for worship! (:
and i found this song, kinda like the lyrics (unsure of the song)

Unashamed Love
Written by Lamont Hiebert

You're calling me to lay aside
The worries of my day
To quiet down my busy mind
And find a hiding place
Worthy, you are worthy

I open up my heart
And let my spirit worship yours
I open up my mouth
And let a song of praise come forth
Worthy, you are worthy

Of a childlike faith, and of my honest praise
Of my unashamed love
Of a holy life, and of my sacrifice
Of my unashamed love
____________________________________________

came early to work today, but did a little reading and do up the worship..
haven touch 2 Tim yet...
now a little early for work to come in but at least so far for this month, work has been up to date.. (: not having things undone.. phew... also not exactly ahead.. but definitely better than previous months..

coming to year end soon... seems like i have just done my 2007 resolution yesterday.
so long, have work and known this grp of colleagues for 2 yrs! (: so fast..
remembered how each of them look like when I just came in as a temp staff and how out of place i felt being the youngest (am still is in the dept!)
felt blessed with these ppl ard, a fun & safe environment i will say.. (:

does it mean is time to do the resolution for this yr soon?
hmmm what happened this yr?

was sharing a load of mine with mslyejieying..
thanks for that, made me feel much peaceful and i do have faith.. in the Lord that is.. (:

2008-12-07T21:45:00.002+08:00

oh dear.... splurge on a few items today and i am broke! :(
usually this happened for a reason....

but had a niceee dinner... though a little ex, but is niceee - MARCHE!
been a while since i last ate that.. haha me and elisa just have cravings for that!
ohhh... is really niceeeee dinner....... and had a good time out with her
(am sure u will agree hor!) *YES!(elisa)*
walked round vivo... big, round, crowded, tired!
wanted to own that shoes! but well....
walked till we were tired... and i have yet to find my Christmas exchange present!
so hard!! *cant think* haii...

got back my itouch today!!! (:
really love it, with the many applications.. and i can go wifi.... haa... *grin*
am really dumb with this kinda stuff...
really law thanks for that... (:
and thanks a million for the broadband too... (:
(felt bad to take up ur time esp at night..) but soo cool....
so happy with my itouch...

now regret that i splurged.... *whine!!!*
*should control me the next time.... not support me i guess? (:

2008-12-04T23:34:00.002+08:00

i am furious! i do not know why there is this cannot-be-explained anger...
though i am not the involved party, but i seriously felt it.
maybe also cos it happened to me be4, thus it explain the anger.
maybe i have a higher expectation because u are older, mature (i thot), godly (i hope)
well... no doubt is not an issue to me, but i dunno why i am feeling it, maybe feeling for my dear fren...

thanks to sharon for the free movie tix to Bolt by GE..
a funny show... and Bolt the dog is soooo cute! reminded me of Snowy.. (: so white..

checked my results today... by God's grace.. i cleared... (:
am really thankful for it...
FINALLY, am off with my studies.. though the excitement wasn't as high as when i left e exam hall.. but am glad i cleared the one i thought i will flunk - Investment Planning... i simply dont have investment sense bah i guess...(:

2008-12-04T00:09:00.002+08:00

i finally finish the show....
i dunch like the ending... kinda sad...
or rather it is me, i dunch like ending that are either up-to-the-audience-to-decide or those ending that in the end one of the main lead dies.. basically i love happy ending.. (:
needless to say, for this show, i will have my own ending! haa... (*grin*)
-------------------------------------------------------------------

dec seems like a hectic month... tight deadlines to meet.. (my calender is full of scribbles)
kinda foresee lots of OT coming up or weekends spending at office... stress...
and so many things coming up... i have so much to do but yet so little time..
i yearn for a time to do etwg again.. that's where i can find a time at peace..

am glad to be reading a psalm each day still... and still reading deu.....
i truely enjoy psalm lots.. poetry, and the expressions of the psalmist...
without reading it, guess my day will not be any better...

had lunch today with Ivy! haa.. only the 2 of us... went to gelare cos she wanted ice cream..
we shared alot, and i guess got to know her a little bit more...
sometimes, i dunch understand wat's going on in her mind, but i guess slowly i will understand but doesnt mean i will agree... at least there is one... (:

okie... so much for now... tired.... so a short post...

2008-11-21T14:38:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!!

received an sms from Judith to ask if i will drop by annual camp tonight..
she gonna leave for NZ tml...
so nice for her to text me.. for a long while she hasnt called me drums partner... (:

kinda rush, wanted to be home to see how ahma is also...
but decided i should meet her for a while...
....all the way in camp @ changi village.... *faint* hahaha..

ahma is kinda okie for now... thanks all for praying.. am really thankful for that..
last night, jumped out of my bed at 3.48am, after hearing a big 'thug' sound...
thankfully it wasnt ahma, but a container dropped.. guess didnt sleep well throughout, for even a thug like this i can jump out of the bed immediately... hai.. really feeling the stress... *sob sob*

wishing mom and dad are back soon!!
mom called and said she wanna extend for another 2 more days!! (she's joking)
i nearly cried!!! haaa... missed them sooo much! finally out of the mountains they are and will call me tonight! (: *big GRIN*

@ work today kinda slack...
Ivy suggested dedicating songs by searching for MVs online.. and she skipped my song!
*hurmp*
SY just laughed at me.... *diao*

2008-11-20T17:50:00.002+08:00

grandma is sick again...

the fear that i have this afternoon stayed vividly as i recalled...
ain't sure why, this is the 2nd time ahma fell ill without mom & dad..
the 1st i had to send her in to hospital in an ambulance... think my parent were at a wedding dinner.. now they were away... really felt helpless and fearful.. called up the aunts and uncles..

it is frustrating initially to hear reasons such as i have got work or i am going for an interview.. maybe i have exaggerated but i think if it is me, the first thing is to drop everything. was hoping sis is able to take urgent leave since is easier for her to apply, but after the call from uncle, i called boss up and went off.

thank God that there were adults with me (not that i am not 1), but i guess when it comes to decision, i really do feel small... and the relief i felt when i see my uncle, i truely understood why guys are the head at home... fwah, for once my uncle impressed me...

yeah kinda feel bad dinner was cancelled indirectly because of this.
(but yeah felt better after hearing what you said, is nice to have support when you needed one, and thanks for offering to me help too)
after the whole incident made me lose the appetite and mood..
but am thankful to God for the things He had done... (:

2008-11-18T09:40:00.002+08:00

was driving home one day, cant remember when.. and the car was playing this song by MLTR.. i cant seem to understand the lyrics till i have seen it.. a sweet one.. haa! guess cos sis been playing oldies in the car... so happened to hear this...

After some time I've finally made up my mind
She is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I'm searching everywhere to find her again
To tell her I love her
And I'm sorry about the things I've done

I find her standing in front of the church
The only place in town where I didn't search
She looks so happy in her wedding dress
But she's crying while she's saying this

Chorus:
Boy I missed your kisses all the time but this is
Twenty five minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry you are
Twenty five minutes too late

Against the wind I'm going home again
Wishing be back to the time when we were more than Friends
Still I see her in front of the church
The only place in town where I didn't search
She looks so happy in her wedding dress
But she's cried while she's saying this

Chorus

Out in the streets
Places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
Inside my head
Still I can hear the words she said
I can still hear what she said

-----------------------------------------------------

my parent are on honeymoon! (: missed them.... really... house was noisy with all the naggings and often screamings... haa!

realised haven done much, guess also because we are more independent now.. only thing is to settle grandma.. haa.. talking abt her.. so cute.. she's hard of hearing but she aint want to wear the hearing aid, so..... we had to talk super duper loudly which i am worried we may be sued for abusing elderly! haa! (mom suggested)

haha, finally this morning i started the washing machine! ahma had been nagging at me to wash, but realised it was only 1/4 full, so didnt want to waste water, but her concern is the piling of clothes.. hmm, well didnt want to upset her or seem like going against her, i started the washing in the morning.. kinda funny, it should be done at night so it can be hung first thing in the morning.. but well.. didnt want to have nightmare over it... (: ahma is really cute la...

beelan shared abt her fear of the illnesses that come with age etc, like senile.. it strucked me, what if i am like that too in the future??? like cataract, hard of hearing??? so i put myself in ahma's shoes.. so lonely and sad!! okie, i really do think ahma is lonely.. for grandpa passed away for almost 24 yrs! (and dad often said grandpa is a nice nice nice man... haa! just like how i think my dad is i guess)

was telling jy(she been bugging me to cook!) since dunch need to attend vbc today, thought of cooking simple dinner.. though i dunch have much experience.. guess really simple one will do?!? like pasta?? hai.. finally know how difficult mom goes through everyday le! even ta bao also dunno wad to eat, wad abt cooking?? haa, but 1 good thing is i wont get nag for a messy kitchen! wahahah..
but so much to do today! wanna wash car, help dad to start up his engine, clear up my room...

so much abt the messy-ness of my life after my parent went away..
am doing a psalm each morning, but still weekend's Ot is bad..
am really encouraged by each psalm everyday and reading of deu is interesting too, maybe because it is familiar to me.. (:
yest sharing of testimonies and praying for the various outreach that is upcoming warmth my heart. my heart was touched by the Lord, am thankful for that.. (:

praying for perseverance in my psalm each day...
praying for perseverance in bugging jy abt the bs grp! (:

2008-11-13T11:48:00.002+08:00

had a swollen eye again!
woke up in the morning... and had a heavy eye lid..

doc adviced me from wearing contact lens for 2 weeks.. (oh man, 2 weekksss!)
and adviced me against wearing them often... (okie, i was wearing it everyday!)
she gave me eye drop... (it caused a bitterness in the throat thereafter, yucks!)
she gave me ointment... (dunno how to apply underlid...)
but no mc... (boo!)

but she's a nice doc, rather chatty and fun-loving...
guess shall wait till the end of day to remove my lens...

chinee set up a new blog http://www.pinkgingerbynee.blogspot.com/
so if u are interested in having somee bake cookies or cakes, do take a look k.. (:
(haa, jieying wants a cheesecake bake from me! eh... u gonna wait, but if it is nice, dun beg me for more!!! (: )

15 more days and butt will be back! (:

2008-11-13T00:00:00.002+08:00

dad should have pick me from suntec.... then i wont end up spending again... but i do love e dress, so i guess is fine, he assured me when i called to complain that since is what i like is worth it, haha but quick to react when i offered him to sponsor me! (: rather agile..

today had a long chat with jieying... haha.. am really happy. pretty much thanks to her having nothing to do and mine not so busy week... so end up we chatted for the entire day, haha so much for her honesty and i guess mine too heh... (:
(u are really interesting, and i guess i do learn from you as well.. thanks for sharing with me too! and also listening to me)

recently, i faced a struggle that been facing for a while, and is still lingering...
i dun really like e word expectation, yet i cant find a better word.
think can summarise as the expectation of others?!? -dunch know-
but have been thinking how irony it is if i were to complain and yet the very thing i complain abt is my weakness too... sigh, needed enlightenment...

something for me to look forward to: CHRISTMAS!!
always love the lightings... and the season of giving...
suntec is up for decoration.. shall tour down orchard to see the lightings when is up..
remembered how in the past when we dun own a car, dad(a relief taxi driver) took us in his cab past midnight down orchard road, so niceee.... haha...

and i am still looking forward to a day spend doing etwg... (:
mornings has been great reading a psalm and deu.. hopefully this continues...

that's all i guess....

2008-11-08T22:43:00.002+08:00

attended Su-Lynn's wedding today...
it was a nice wedding! (:
*so sweet*

closest friends of theirs ard me were tearing and shouting with joy.. (:

i liken the exchange of vows which was really sweet, and when i turned Yeeling was already tearing.. (: it was really sweet..

yup do agree with the exhortation by pastor vincent that true love begins from God. it is also important to have it rooted deep in God.

it is a different style from ms lum that i attended... but both has their special moments.. (:

oh..... and i have not done my psalms prayer this morning... realised weekend QTs are not as consistent as weekdays..... :(

better get it done before i sleep...

2008-11-07T01:34:00.002+08:00

tired but dont feel like sleeping... aint sure why as well...

hmm been thinking abt my future... haven thought of what am i gonna do abt it..
change is constant. for sure things will be different in some aspects.
shall leave it when it happen to think, esp so when i dont have an answer for it.
pray!
so far, God has been answering my prayers (i think)... am thankful for that.... (:

decided to turn in and try to sleep... eyes are sooo dry!

2008-11-06T09:59:00.003+08:00

Centipedes/ANts attack!

early in the morning, found a CENTIPEDE on my table! right..... it came out while i was using the paid chop. The thought of it irks me! hair standing, frowning face, and now a cleaner table.

yucks! yucks!

having ants appearing back again these few days is bad, to make it worst - the appearance of a centipede.. what a reunion... haha (:

eeeee.........

okays.... enough!

received this video and the dog is sooo cute!! (: though i can feel its sadness...

2008-10-21T09:05:00.002+08:00

Henderson Waves!
i always wanted to visit this place... so many ppl are telling me how niceeee it is... remembered abf went once but didnt join them (cant remember for what reason also), regret it!

Ivy is 'dating' me for it!!! (more like she needed me to accompany her!) haha.. alrighty, she is soo funny, shall visit this beautiful place with her... (dun bluff me!!!)

http://www.nparks.gov.sg/cms/index.php?option=com_visitorsguide&task=attractions&id=62&Itemid=73

here's e link... it really look beautiful.. it says...
"It is an area steeped in history and is home to some of nature's greatest gifts of flora and fauna. It is also one of the best spots in Singapore to catch panoramic views of the city, harbour and the Southern Islands."

oh man.... simply love the night views... haaa... just like how usually i will be attracted to the city night lights... (:

aside to elisa: think i found another attraction for u when u are back already... (:

2008-10-21T02:27:00.003+08:00

slower speed than ever, taking a longer and sweeter time. didnt know why i felt so upset after the conversation. guess pretty much it was obvious.

millions of apologies for that sudden reaction, alot of thots came to mind and guess cos i cannot justify them. i didnt know exactly why i was upset, but i do feel very low. i still yet to know though the reason why. guess is just on my part i am thinking too much.. i dunno.. and i dun like this feeling........

--------------------------------------------------------

QT today on - doing something out of nothing.
my 'nothing' moment includes journey to work, pockets of moments whereby i will take time away from work to simply surf or staring out of the window, and even at the toilets. (:

when i pondered... moments like this i found myself conversing with God within me. i enjoyed this, not the usual "... in Jesus's name i pray, Amen!" but rather having Him being a part of my life, rather a BIG part! how wonderful it is.. but some time i will just want to be still and watch the scenery that passes me by be it on train, bus, car etc... not being pessi but rather to enjoy simply being peaceful, not having to think of work, sch or things that bothers me (seldom there will be though).

my take away from this is that giving God moments like this will actually refresh ourselves from the things that we are doing/thinking. personally it encourages me each time i go into moments like this. i will find my heart worshipping and also conversing.

-------------------------------------------------------------

on sunday, Lawrence (quoted Justin) that when we seek God for an answer, we pray, and when there is still no response, we make the best decision (based on what i get, though not the exact). i was marvelled at how we can have this relationship with Him, God has a plan for us, yet He also allow us to make choices on our own. once in bs, someone shared that God gave us choices to make our own decision, when we are wrong, He also provide U-turns for us to be aligned to His plan. sometimes the choices are so clear but yet our very own nature decided to go against His will or we simply refuses to let go and let Him take control. sometimes i wondered what will His reaction be when i made the wrong choices, will He be upset, or thinking that this silly girl is going to take a long time? i am always thankful for the grace that He has for us or rather for me... it is really beyond imagination yet it is so wonderful.

anyway the above are random thoughts, not very well summarised, but are thoughts for myself to think deeper and thoughts that i have it within me over the weekend.

------------------------------------------

i met hanwei today! he happened to be clement's polymate... how nice it is to again meet another pri sch fren.... haa and he can still remember the old times... interesting...

alright off to bed.... very very late....

2008-10-09T16:00:00.002+08:00

this few days QT, God has been teaching me abt forgiving...
(i wondered to myself who on earth needs me to forgive??? esp when my anger dun last)
alright... i finally understood....

was so upset when i received ur call last night
i hadnt felt so angry and frustrated for a while..
and i truely understood what God has been teaching me all these while...
i'm sorry.. i failed... i let them clouded my mind..
i have already let out all that i needed, and i trust that God is in control..
i know He will..

amazing love, how can it be..

2008-10-08T13:35:00.012+08:00

the new week..... (:

testing kelly's new hp! (with my 2 sg flags, signify-ing my 2 yrs here!)scandal 1!

scandal 2!

Poser 1!

Poser 2!

during lunch @ Fish & cO...

chatted with audrey today...

right, even in USA, she gotta bug me with the same issues... (hey arent u tired??) hahaha! a rather cute odie... just wait patiently.... (:

started my revision yest officially... oh no... and there are so much to absorb! (am not a spnge)

how...... stress..... lazy to start.....

yesterday had a lazy afternoon... boss went out for seminar locking all of us out of the room... so we decided to cram into a room and started to laze ard.. took pictures, laughed, and yawning throughout the afternoon... shall have some photos here... (:

thanks for entertaining me! oops...

(sorry for the bursting smS...)

2008-10-06T13:59:00.002+08:00

i am bored...

i think i am bored by work... hmm..
am tired too, though last night i slept rather early but still tired... dunno why..
haha, just need some laughters to wake myself up...

and... exams is coming! 23rd, my last paper... really hope this will end soon..

just keep praying (:

realised last week passed rather slowly as i looked back.. hmm.. (:

2008-10-03T00:47:00.002+08:00

Jackson Wee!
i guess he is my longest time friend on earth! and a great suan-er i realised! nv keep his mouth away from 'piglet'....
we were in the same preschool to primary...
it is so wonderful to be able to still keep in contact, even if it is just only recently... but the feeling is nice..
hahaa, we can celebrate our 20th anniversary soon....

i vividly remembered him in the past, only can remember his mom, who is so nice towards me each time, telling me where my mom/grandma will be that is picking me up...
memories of him came in guess kindergarden then...

was just chatting and chatting, and really missed those younger days.... carefree....
okie shall meet u soon at pratashop soon... till we meet.. (:

2008-09-29T09:11:00.003+08:00

Wall E....

though i watched this show sometime ago, but i really think is nice and cute...

this morning on my way to work.. didnt feel much better, but i spotted something from afar!
hahhaaaa.. i thought i saw wall e! (oh man, my colleagues laughed at me when i told them)

i saw an amplified version of it, something similar, a square body and it has 2 big eyes (okie, i guess are like those spot lights thingy)

haha, what a funny morning... (thought i was dreaming....)

Jesus You are You are
Everything I'm not
And everything that I want to be

Jesus You are You are
The maker of my heart
Finish what You started in me

This is the hope I have
It's something I cannot see
You willingly gave Your life
Willing to die for me
Now I believe
I believe I believe

2008-09-29T00:56:00.002+08:00

i am rather upset... i think is with myself.. just want a space to vent it out.
i remembered someone told me before a phase that i will not forget... jie shi= yan shi
i guess it is true when it reaches a point.. that i am immune and i will be upset but i will not bother to explain.. slowly i think i am reaching there..

wanted to have swensens ice cream today, but since waiting time is 20 mins plus cousin gotta leave for tuition, we changed.
guess is the emotions that have yet to receive peace, the alternative to my ice cream is to splurge! okie, $100 poorer.... i wonder i will regret getting that dress... sian.... it always happen when i felt down and wanna splurge thus i always prefer ice cream.....
well... at least i had jap food...

finally assignment is out of my life for good! (maybe for a while, unless i chose not to further)
okie... wanna sleep soon... sleep over it..

i am still not good over it

2008-09-25T11:40:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ELISA!
missed ya woman.. (:
cant wait... 2 mths right?!? (:

2008-09-25T09:39:00.003+08:00

Can I Borrow $25?

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated,
to find his 5-yearold son waiting for him at the door.

SON: 'Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
DAD: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the man.
SON: 'Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the man said angrily.
SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: 'If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'
SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down.

SON: 'Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'
The father was furious,
'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions.

How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down ,
and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often.

The man went to the door ofthe little boy's room and opened the door. 'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.
'No daddy, I'm awake,' replied the boy.
'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man.
'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.'

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you daddy!' he yelled.
Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.
The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.
'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied.
'Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent sometime with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.
____________________________________________________________

what a heart warming story... *touched*
so a reminder to the hardworking friends i have - spend some time with ur love ones...
(yes, me too)

2008-09-18T11:18:00.002+08:00

ooohh.. finally the photos are also done compiling... left for me to upload..
think wont upload much here, is too slow, dun wanna waste too much time waiting..
shall load on facebook then..

inspired to blog this by jieying:
so many came and asked if i have missed them... YES! i did miss many of u kay.. (unless u want me to personally tell u i did?) haha.. missed my bed, my mom, dad, silly siblings, grandma, my usual kakis, my usual hangout place (: (which i went last night!).... okie the list goes on...

am back to my normal lifestyle of late nights (oops) haha, slept so early in jap, as early as 930pm(sg time). it is indeed refreshing but guess much due to the travelling, get wore out easily too..
wanted to cont from numbers 15 last night, and found myself dozing off in front of my com! (oops, sorry abt it!) haha... today is pretty alright, no sign of dozing off @ work yet... (:

last night, also, had a sudden urge to shop.. went round from suntec city all the way to city hall (kinda boring, but well, was away 6 days), saw a dress that i really loved, $200. wah! *niceee*

anyway, adjusting back to work! hahaha... things getting a little boring.. well.. shall see how it goes from here.. shall load the photos separately (:

2008-09-17T02:58:00.002+08:00

Finally... Home Sweet Home...

touched down at an irregular hrs making me awake right now, guess slept too much on the journey back that was filled with turbulence. so sweet of cousin to pick me from the airport *touched* am glad to see her... (: (guessed she missed me much, judging from the smses that she sent each day! hahaha!)

this Japan trip is rather different maybe because it is my first free and easy trip.
wow! and transportation in Japan is not cheap! that's where most of my money went to, and i am truely amazed by the many different 'MRT' lines they have. by walking to the train station and ard the places sent my legs aches. kinda painful journey.. (shall post more photos once i consolidate them)

Japan, i will describe as a country with passionate and well-manner ppl. Generally, on the train, will seldom see them speaking too loudly or playing loud music. the ppl are also passionate about their jobs, i see this more often being displayed in Disneyland, on the streets are mainly ppl shouting the same slogan (wonder why dont they record it down??). Japan also has alot of smokers, but one thing good is they get rid of the ashes in bins or self-prep containers. their restaurants are also mostly segregated with smoking & non-smoking area, well, of not much help cos it still STINK my hair! (:

Food in Japan is niceeeee... since i loved Jap food.. but sushi is super ex...
had ramen most of the time, tried the curry rice and also some other jap cuisine, guess the Jap outlet in SG can still make it (:

walking along the streets, i see alot of arcades. it is always packed with ppl playing games, esp pin balls (i think that's the name), with baskets of small metal balls. and the ppl start to watch movie as early as the cinema opens! (that's sooo early!), whereas here, we watch as late as we can.

this trip opened my eyes to the culture of Japan.. realised too that the children are so so so cute (: no wonder, the grew up are rather good looking..

i had an opportunity to take this period to spend more time with the Lord as well. manage to type down my QT each day and am reading till NUMBERS 13! (: enjoying each moment of it, it is such a wonderful feeling... am glad i had the bible with me.. (though i carry it everywhere i go)

okie, more photos hopefully soon...... (:

2008-09-11T01:18:00.002+08:00

thanks for the concerns that many have shown... thank God for each one of you. (:
haha indeed is rare i am like this, in fact, it is the first time that i am so affected i guess...
but God is good all the time, and all the time God is good!

QT a few days ago as i shared was on putting my life with Christ being the focus so that my life will be in focus. indeed, this guards most of the things that i am doing. i am human afterall that will fail man and God. it is by the grace of God that i am wash clean once again. this really taught me to go back to basic, on my walk with the Lord. i thank God for allowing me to experience His grace and to know that He is journeying with me. another QT was on roots or shoots, i wanna be one deeply rooted in the word, to be the roots (:

the conviction that God place in my heart is greater than mere men. read 2 cor 1 just now, i think the passage is rather apt for my thoughts... i find more comfort in the fact that God will shower us with His comfort in time of troubles.

this morning as i was on the way to work, was listening to songs and trying to hear and meditate on the lyrics.. i really like this song and indeed God is God, sometimes we can only see a part of the picture that He is painting, we are mere man...

wo men shi ren, bu shi shen (:

anyway... the song of the day..

GOD IS GOD

And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don’t know

And the questions without answers
Come and paralyze the dancer
So I stand here on the stage afraid to move
Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must
On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God

And the sky begins to thunder
And I’m filled with awe and wonder
‘Til the only burning question that remains
Is who am I

Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass

Oh, how great are the riches of His wisdom and knowledge
How unsearchable for to Him and through
Him and from Him are all things

So let us worship before the throne
Of the One who is worthy of worship alone

2008-09-09T23:54:00.002+08:00

sorry to vent it on you over the same issues again. it is too much for me to bear. it really stumbles me and i do not know if i know Him.that feeling is so scary, my first time encountering it,crying it out doesn't bring me comfort.

now i do not know how to carry on. i leave it to Him in total control of it. prayed and i felt peace.
i just needed to blog it out. so it will remind me and to see the grace of God.

i want to run away from it (rather can i stop running), but i can imagine no matter how far or fast i run, ppl catch up and i will find myself in the same pit again. i nv felt this before. it is this time that i truely know i need Him.

i hope i am doing fine. and will be fine. at the end of it, i hope to hear Him say, "Well done, my faithful servant".

i dunch wanna talk abt this anymore....
dun ask me too....
guess i just want a good sleep later...

was reminded about 'running a good race' for Him. trials are there to mold us, so that we can be trained to be more Christ-like. my life, my race, is it good? a Christian life is really hard, but i really dunno what will happen to me if i hadn't know Him.and precisely because of this, hanging out with Christians already form a big part of my life than non-christians, it is also where i feel more comfortable.

2008-08-28T10:10:00.003+08:00

a call that given me assurance, lest leaving me to think what exactly happened.
instead of me worrying, guess it encouraged me instead.

i realised i needed to rely on Him for this, things are not within my control and i do feel it as a failure. it brings me back to why did i even agree in the beginning (knowing well that i will not be able to handle). right, things dont seem good and i dont wish for the worst. realised it is always when things became worst that I will think of giving up, not that i will, but just a thought.. i need to listen more...

WWJD? (:

13 days more to Japan...
less cab since last week (:
shall cont to inprove cash flow... haa
(discount the itouch first)

2008-08-21T08:58:00.002+08:00

To You

Here I stand
Forever in Your mighty Hand
Living with Your Promise
Written on my heart

I am Yours
Surrendered wholly to You
You set me in Your Family
Calling me Your own

Now I
I belong to You
All I need
Your Spirit Your Word Your Truth
Hear my cry
My deep desire to know You more
In Your name
I will lift my hands to the King
This anthem of praise I bring
Heaven knows
I long to love You with all I am
I belong to You

thoughts: what a priviledge to be called the child of God.

2008-08-20T11:37:00.002+08:00

Today's QT...

was reading daily bread online and today it was entitled, 'Whose side is God on?'

upon seeing the title, i find it weird... whenever there's a qns asking God, i will usually reversed the direction of the qns to myself. hence, am i on God's side?

it is dangerous to assume we are right with God when in fact we might not be.
the steps to be right with God - obedience to Him, Submissive. (i hope i did)

was telling cousin yest, how sometimes i wonder why i dont see a major change, the only difference i see, is the purpose of living, leading a meaningful life. (: and i told cousin sometimes i will wonder qns that may stumble myself but am glad i build my foundation on solid rock, which will always bring me back. yeah i do know need to be careful as well.. my prayer will be that i will always stay on His side. (:

i love this quote:

Instead of jumping into a situation with the presumption that God is on our side, we need to be certain that we are on His. — Julie Ackerman Link

what a nice reminder today.... (:

2008-08-19T01:04:00.002+08:00

is this the first time i am so affected?
actually i guess it happened be4, when i was upset with the seniors back in sch.

i think being simple is not simple afterall... things u think are simple but mere men are really too complicated to be simple thus it pose as a problem to simple minded ppl. what an irony! (:
or maybe is just myself..

i just thot of blogging down my thoughts, be it a reminder to myself or to others likewise...
there are ppl watching how i am leading my life - family, friends, even the younger ones, let alone God. i really need to examine my life each day. His standard is soo hard!

thanks for the night, u guys made it better for me. esp the ice cream!

2008-08-17T18:43:00.005+08:00

had bs with the girls from 34th, it was enjoyable and we shared with one another.i pray that God continue to guide me and wen as we lead the group. i do feel the pressure each time the matter is being brought up, i wonder if my decision was right, not thinking le, not doubting =P

today was reminded abt equally yoke. it is a common thing tat ppl ard me are facing..
i sorta realised it is impt to pray against this, before problems arise. isnt it a simple thing to follow? (i often asked myself), but at that time, i do felt the temptation was real. do hope you will understand this too, and not going through it like me.

i feel no meaning in things i am doing nowadays... esp at work, still trying though...
praying that the passion will be back....

QT this few days been reminding me of being christ-like. seem like ever since i prepare for 1 cor 15 on resurrection, and how i live it out for my faith and belief. rather apt. i do hope as i live each day, may God be smiling, that i can glorify Him in all i do.

guess the leading of the girls in bs these days build up my prayer life, thank God for that. really hope it gets better... gonna pray for tml's session, do believe it will be a good time of discussion. though didnt help much, as compare to how much it was done with me, will be praying, that's all i can do.

The Lord's Prayer

2008-08-16T10:15:00.001+08:00

she ish so cute... (:

Ms.Swan - ATM

2008-08-16T10:09:00.001+08:00

2008-07-30T09:04:00.002+08:00

am soo happy today!

the day started well.. guess a big part goes to my early night rest yest (: 11pm!
(dad & mom were shocked when i said goodnight)

mom made my fav breakfast for the longest time... though is only french toast, but i simply love it..

these 2 is enough for me to remain smiley.

i was asked if i am feeling stress with stuff ongoing, do i feel like God is distant, and do i feel tired of growing up...

if given a choice, of cos i will wish that time can turn back to when i was still a child, with only homework that bother me. as we grow, we mature and responsibility gets bigger.. thus i will always tell children dont rush in growing, before u wish u were still a child. (:

but i dont grow alone! at least friends ard me grow old tog with me! haha...
there are time we can share woes and time we can simply laugh tog... to me, that's what makes my growing process more meaningful..

2008-07-29T00:25:00.002+08:00

feeling rather lousy today.. wanted to call someone to ratter and whine... and didnt understand what ODB is telling me...
i dunch like this feeling, been praying..thank God it didnt last for long, felt better after i left.

finally let out what i have been laying inside...
it was painful, but i felt relieved (:
thank God for you, cant find anyone else that i can relate... so no choice!

went for aud's farewell on sun, saw familiar faces. it warmth my heart to see them.
spent some time sharing, the feeling is different.

felt that this post a little emo... okie till there only...

ah wen gonna lead worship for 2 sats, and she seek me to help her.. well been a while since i touch the guitar, e last was when i gave lesson to the girls?!?! haha...
hope i still remember... anyway got myself help to standby, dun laugh at me, i do admit i dunch play well haha.. but is nice to team up with her, nv tried before. so far the best i worked with is elisa (our impromptu and rehearsals over phone), other than those in church of cos.

okie, am looking forward to that for now... oh and the retreat! a nice get away from work... though still a long long long way...

2008-07-15T23:16:00.002+08:00

i had a thought of changing my line... to do something i always want to be - that is to be a teacher. but i am not certain...

it reminded me of my applications after 'A'level, which i was given chinese to teach *faints*
i always wanted to teach maths, but i guess cos of the flop i have done to my further mathematics in 'A' that blew it off! ha! guess much credits goes to mechanics for this.

sis said it might be the path for me.. teaching can be exciting. esther shared sec is difficult since students are getting more and more different & harder to manage, but i guess that's where the challenge is, aint it? (:

not sure if this is what i want or God want me to.. prior to this, i had thought my path will be set for the coming at least 5yrs, that is to get my cpa soon and continue in the accounting line or to go into audit. guess the chat with esther arouse my passion for teaching, which is one reason why i continue to tutor so as to practice my skills/knowledge since after 'o'.

guess this can be a passing thought of mine, i may end up doing the same mundane stuff.. haa.. shall see how it will lead me..

2008-07-10T11:29:00.003+08:00

felt bad that i have left you out of my mind for a long while. oops...
(to the extend you thought i changed my mobile no...) oh no.. i really feel bad...
should have ask how you have been doing...
okie am really sorry abt it...

yeah as i was reading through the old blog, missed ya so much!! (:
nearly spent everyday tog - that's becos i am not schling..
really thank the Lord for you - for sharing a portion of my life and it shall cont to be k!
thanks for bringing so much into my life. (:
through the ups and downs, it is just a process of growing and understanding each other more.

2008-07-10T00:59:00.002+08:00

looking back at my old blog brings back lots of memories...
realised i posted a lot of prayers and sermons/sharing that i have learnt.
as i read, it inspired me... managed to change the template so it is not corrupted like what raq told me before.. and i haven seen her for a while...

why has this new blog became a self centered one? i remembered i started blogging so as to spread the love and to allow others to know the Big Daddy (my Lao Pa) i have...

okie, why am i remincising all a sudden... haa... maybe cos i started reading abt me in the old blog. the faith didnt change i am sure! (:

missed the good old time....

didnt notice that i have been saying 'sorry' most of the time. i came across someone telling me that should cultivate the habit of saying 'sorry' and this had become so...

i haven been thank-ed by ppl for so long JUST as well....

and you have been thanking me! i haven done much really.. i thank God for you as well, for being able to read my mind rather well (which can be scary), for the things you have taught/shared with me (for unpaid suppers, for ur nonsense, for ur lame stuff, for the only thing u will remind me - my 'mission' etc) haha... (it takes muscles to give u a diao face btw) if u asked me few years back, guess i wont even imagine talking so much to you.

hanging ard with cousin these past days, i dunno if what i have shared is right but it is what i will do. guess is just my character, might not be what God wants to teach u.. i have reservations when i tell ppl what they should do, i do not wish to claim the credits when thing goes right, neither do i want to be blame for the wrong suggestions i guess (not that you will).. (:

anyway all much for the day.. bedtime... 207am...

2008-07-03T23:22:00.003+08:00

-for elisa-
thanks so much for the wonderful birthday card. oh man! when i saw it i nearly teared la!
cant imagine you actually wrote those chinese words... no wonder you said i will be touched.
i guessed pretty much that you got someone to translate for you though. but so sweet of ya.

indeed, i thank the Lord for a friend like you. we have been through so much in the past 10yrs! (:
guess we wasnt even this close when we were in sec sch... all started after we moved on to JCs! how amazing it is, thanks for walking with me through the past yrs, listening to me, letting me whine and making me smile when i was down (: of cos, thanks for the long dist call when i needed someone. true enough, despite the dist, we were still as close. that's a blessing.

please come back soon, and i will promise suppers and movies with you.
(btw, i have not eat the ice-cream treat that you are giving me, got budget? lest i over spend and u refuse to let me claim) haha... anyway thanks for the thot, it warmed the heart, of cos i wont claim.

-for teo-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
thanks teo for being ard and always making me laugh (at u!), and thanks for the many late night calls we have (: haa!
(i am good at my 'phone ministry', and u are like the most freq member)

alright, work has been rather hectic the past days... finally closed my accounts...
and sch just started for me.... not a bad sem for there are only 2 modules.
so much for now... tired... (:

2008-06-25T12:14:00.005+08:00

i am glad! there is this excitement within me.. haa!

Dedicated to Ms Kelly Ker!

yeah!! Kelly is getting married! (:
(shall announce it for her!)

so sweet of yk to plan it so well for her..
first he tricked her into knocking off on time, then bringing her to sentosa..
as it is still early, they decided to take a stroll at the beach (:
and yk bought her favourite anges b bag (sweet)
*most impt* there is a card in the bag which he drew (a boy and a girl)
and TADA!!! he proposed on 16th June 2008!

then it ends off with a nice meal...... (: Barnacles Restaurant

after which, they proceed to music fountain (so romantic!!!)
but...they met a smoker who caused air pollution.. oops.... (okie this is a spoiler)
then... it all end off with them going back to yk's hse @ simei...
(congrats yk and kk!)

-end of story-

i have volunteered nicely to be the wedding planner... together with the whole finance and HR team as well!
she should be touched!

2008-06-24T22:06:00.004+08:00

prayed. never felt like this before.
felt better after praying..

i wonder if this is the one for me...
i think i cannot live up to the expectation, and eventually i will see more disappointed faces.
i cannot find the motivation..

and sch is starting next week... oh man, i wanna whine again...

guess i need a good break... need a nice ice cream!! (today is tue - well i always missed it)

2008-06-21T17:22:00.002+08:00

ah wen came to meet me for lunch on fri!
so nice of her to travel down and had a good time catching up with her...
though knew abt certain news from her, but i believe it is all well in God's hand yeah... trust Him!

then had supper with cousin, law, mag and weilun..
went to a new HK cafe @ east coast... i think i will prefer siglap's... (:

it was a nice chat together, but poor lawrence is sick again... aiyo....
pls take good care of yourself and get well soon!!
praying for ya..

had a niceee cake from awefully chocolate today from drill comm.. so sweet (both the ppl and the cake), really love it. the very thought that they were ready to sing me a birthday song when i was @ church camp warmth my heart! only to find that i off my phone to preserve the battery. so sweet of u all... (:

*finally i saw su-lynn's video!!! oh man.... tat was hilarious....

2008-06-19T00:34:00.002+08:00

wooo! just came back from church camp feeling refreshed!

guess no regrets for attending this camp, some take away for me...
i have nv knew how hurtful it can be to see ppl falling away from God when we have been journeying together, now i know. this reminded me of the 5 most beloved ppl that i have written on the card some time back, i thank the Lord for in it i wrote the names of 2 close frens of mine and 1 came back in the arms of God. (: i wouldnt wish to see frens ard me leaving the warm embrace of His, all i can do is to pray for them.

i also asked myself will i still be walking side by side with Him 10/20 years down the road?
no one can predicts... will i persevere? i really dunch know.. but one thing i know now is that He is still the Lordship of my life, of my heart. it also let me see church in a different light.. not negative but just a different perspective.

actually felt really bad during the camp.. felt so unprepared but yeah.. God has really been faithful...

had a wonderful birthday spent in camp (: thanks all for the cake and surprises... bet the whole level knew it was my birthday (: the cake was nice.. and the surprise really came as a surprise..
haha.. special abt this year's birthday lies in the cake! had 3 cakes this yr with 3 different candles on it. one had 25 (@ work), one had 24 (with JC classmates), yeah and had 20 for church camp, so average is 23.. whoa.. diaoz... but this 'mistakes' made this year's birthday special for me. will remember it! haha...

camp was really relaxing and a good thing to take me away from work for a while.. this awhile made me dun feel like going back to work anymore... sianz.. haha... (: but well life goes on but with a different energy to fight the battle (:

2008-06-12T09:03:00.016+08:00

today boss not ard.. haa! hence morning was kinda lighthearted... and i was late for work for 7 mins without me realising..

anyway yesterday had a celebration for my bdae @ work, it started all wrongly from the beginning with 25 candles!!!! haa... received a nice bag and a really lovely card! i do love cards!! guess cos it is something personal and i enjoy reading every word written in it, aint them meaningful (i kept all my letters and cards btw)? so, i love cards! (elisa, are u sending me one from aus? must be made in aus!)

taken some pictures @ the balcony! oooo... the scenery is soo beautiful, but of cos it cannot beat the night view.. the night view is def nicer! the office was filled with so much laughters viewing the picutres, shall select only the nicest ones... thanks so much for that! I wont remember having 25 candles on my cake okie… haaa!

a pleasant surprise set up (:

did you spot the candles?!?

the finance team...

a really nice card & present received..

nice scenery!

alright, this looks like a scolding session..

Sheena: you know..... you all shouldnt..... this shouldnt be the way..

Jami: oh! orh.. i am so sorry

SY: huh.. orh... erm..

alright, lazy to blog more pictures cos i have to wait for a long time..... (:

anyway i thank God for a wonderful working environment i am in and i do certainly hope i can be a salt and light to Him here. (:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

updates on past weeks...

attended anna's wake on the last night. there were sharing of her lives. it came upon me that little things that we do can touch ppl's heart. i wonder if i have done enough little things as a form of outreach to christians and non christians alike.

also shared with cousin how i told my sis i wanted my funeral to be like. (: and maybe can paste those cards i received haa... i will like the walls to be filled with messages from friends!! (:

and my phone finally died on me... it is a mute phone now! i cant hear anything, is time to get a new one.. so no calls at the moment but i can sms.. (:

alright... back to work.... though boss is not ard.....

Sacrifice-Bob Fitts- With lyrics.

2008-05-29T14:53:00.001+08:00

what great love that God had showered upon us.

2008-05-29T12:54:00.002+08:00

received this from Isabelle this morning.. so sweet aint it?

haven seen her for a while since i left, what's more she only joined GB this year, anyway a nice girl (:

i dont have motivation towards my work... how? been taking my own sweet time in doing stuff i realised...........

i think because of my OT-ing... and i realised i haven seen my dad for 2 days! oops..

Exodus been telling me abt being used as a vessel of God - like how God used Moses & Aaron (Vessel of Fragrance, haha sound familiar, how about sitting down camp?), to make things happen through me. i thought before surely i can be one? though i have been praying for God to use me to fulfill His purpose. (:

i dunno what to update le......... boring.......

2008-05-22T10:57:00.005+08:00

saw this pic on my comp, reminded me of the convenant that God made during Noah's time (Gen 9:12-17). it reminded me, too, of what law shared when rainbow appears, it could mean God needed that as a reminder, can you imagine how upset He could be with us?!?

anyway then saw this:

21 The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: "Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though [a] every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done.

22 "As long as the earth endures,

seedtime and harvest,

cold and heat,

summer and winter,

day and night,

will never cease."

as long as the earth endures... will never cease-will it somehow link to the work of men, civilization? i have heard disasters came due to human work, global warming... i wonder...am i thinking too far cos of recent disasters?

2008-05-19T03:44:00.002+08:00

i like this song... maybe it caught my attention because the way the singer sang it (haa)... haven really understood the meaning of the song though, but catchy tune i thought (:

不知道为了什么忧愁它围绕著我
我每天都在祈祷快赶走爱的寂寞

你要我听这一首歌用这首歌离开我
她唱的太美了歌词却很伤人
你为什么不直接提分手

爱人的话不需要重轻轻的说我就懂
接你的车来了表示爱到站了
我站在十字路口对抗心痛一个人

你的黑发现在睡进谁的胸口
你的唇现在跟谁要温柔
一开始你爱我最后你放弃我
还要用千言万语说得委屈你有多难过

爱牢牢抓紧我恨深深包围我
你要我为你好快赶走爱的寂寞

爱人的话不需要重轻轻的说我就懂
接你的车来了表示爱到站了
我站在十字路口对抗心痛一个人

你的黑发现在睡进谁的胸口
你的唇现在跟谁要温柔
一开始你爱我最后你放弃我
还要用千言万语说得委屈你有多难过

爱牢牢抓紧我恨深深包围我
你要我为你好快赶走爱的寂寞

爱牢牢抓紧我恨深深包围我
你要我为你好快赶走爱的寂寞

2008-05-18T22:31:00.002+08:00

Pray 24-7...

indeed, i prayed like i never pray before.. this was my prayer each time before the prayer session. i prayed for a revival within me each time. all i can say is, thank God for journeying with me all my walk with Him, my every paths i chose, even when i made the wrong move, God will gently direct my path. who am i to deserve His attention, to deserve to be the chosen one, called His child?

indeed, this is a privilege. this is not a chance, it is a plan, a perfect plan of God.

when i was younger, i used to imagine that God owns a lot of book shelves that are used to display our 'portfolio' (though i am not sure if God is high tech to track using a computer instead), each book is named, by our name. i wanted God to be please when He is reading mine, i wanted Him to be proud that i have run a good race, fight a good fight for Him, and He is smiling when He look into my life.

many a times, i think i have made Him sad, what i feared most is when i do not even know that i have sinned and it is seemingly right to me. that's then scary.

recently, the world's attention falls on China and Myanmar, the 7.9 quarke and cyclone nargis caused many lives lost, and adding to the totality of broken families overnight. this is so sad, my heart goes out to them. i wondered how many believers are in the midst of those who lost their lives. many said this is a wake up call to the unbelievers and believers alike, i think it is also a time that i wonder what can i do. How God can use me? there are many who have yet to believe in Him, there are also many who have yet hear abt Him.

i hope i can do something... so sad to watch the documentary.

over the last week, church embarked on a 24-7 prayer week, went to church to pray on wed and fri nights. had an extended prayer session on sat night 2-6am, so worn out on sunday. but i really do felt that i really prayed like never before. since 2 am, we have been worshipping Him, lasted all the way till after abf. indeed personal revival (:

2008-05-15T09:55:00.002+08:00

I AM SO DISTRACTED TODAY! haha... that's not very good...
distracted by what i do not know...

life is getting a little boring i think..although this week i am suppose to be pack with activities, but somehow i still think it is boring, why? sometimes i just dont wish to do anything but to watch ppl getting ard with their busy schedule while i enjoy a nice drink in a nice cafe.... (:
cousin is not meeting me for dinner, well that's because i will be seeing her coming fri to sun (her reason, haa).

cousin & lawrence, thanks for your concern last night! (: yeah i know ppl ard me cares (haa, my fav sentence)

a little abt things @ work since i am so free now...
i was advised to cut off ties with the previous colleagues i worked with, esp since a new person has taken over. i do understand her agony when ppl bypass her and speak to me, even for simple matters. i don't how. not me to simply say, please do not call me anymore for i am no longer handling your acc. ok, i think she is really disappointed and fuming yesterday. i will try not to interfere between them.

my colleague advised me on my weak point, being too trusting. she said i trust ppl easily, though i hardly know them. hmmm... is written on my face again? diao.... just been nice and giving others the benefit of doubt, is tiring to be defensive and observing ppl leh. anyway unless the first impression i have of you is bad, then guess that's too bad. haa!

aside to my walk with God...
alright embarked on Gen, still is. a little slack with bs, guess gonna do it tonight.. (:
pray for the disasters in Myanmmar and CHina. glad that sze & sam are fine.

okie my random thoughts above... am bored la...

2008-05-08T16:40:00.003+08:00

i am tired... really... by all the qns and i dunno how to answer them anymore. i may chose to frustrate it instead. sorry if i vented it on you, i really think i did.

i was approached like last year regarding this and since then, many who knows me came to ask if i am going to take over. i think am tired of being in the lime light at times, esp when ppl ask "what's going to happen after she step down?? oh JAMI taking over is it? good good!"
when i qns "why me??" - "because only you and you are the best option" (i qns if this is from God?) somehow i don't really like the reply, it seems like a best way out, without considering my feelings and my thoughts.

many tried to talk me out into this, honestly i didnt want to pick it up because i will surely come to the same situation as of now some years later. and i do know myself, i do have my insecurities - i feel that i am not strong enough (emotionally though i may not show it). yes, friends said they will be there (and i am a team player, i do need support - physically there). i appreciated that. i do appreciate too when ppl have that faith and trust in me that i can do a good job or i can be a good leader. i do appreciate when ppl i hardly work with finds me a great person to work with. i give this glory to God for making who i am. but, is this the reason for ministry?

ministry to me is a commitment - at least 2 yrs. have i become a need to the company? outsiders see it as this. and i do appreciate ur 8 reasons to me, really... i am touched by ur sharing, love ya k, i nearly teared, yes! am really sorry, but thanks alot for the trust in me.

says:
hear me out
JAMI. says:
ok..
I cut off my pony tail says:
1. to me it must be in a hand of a resposible person.
2. The one must know it very well, cos it's a company which had been running for more that 10yrs
3. The one must know the current problem in it, so that changes can be make when she take over.
3b. This is the most important because i have been in it long enough to know that there are lots of changes to make it better.
4. The one must have a heart for it, not just take up because she wants to serve GOD, but out of LOVE for this company and wants to serve GOD through it. Not through it to serve GOD.
5. The one of the it must have very gd coummiuncation with sch, becos we all know that all the teachers that comes in dont last.
5b. to make teachers that comes in have a feeling like home and be devoted to our work, the one must be extrem humble to hear others point of view of
5c. this has been a major promble in my point of view, and i think this will cos great change inthe gals involvement too. See EC case, when she influnces us so much, guided us so much
6. The one must have gd relationship and commuication with church too. it now is lack of someone who can commuincate with church and the current one is not having a too gd relationship with current church now.
6b. Even though one is not from the church, she should still keep in close contact with church. I would not say that the current one is not doing that, cos i dont know. But i know that this will be a great challange for the future one.
6c. Even that a challange if the one is humble, GOD house will not stir up in it becos GOD is incharge and he will not allow this to happen.
6d. From what i know, church have no woman or full time staff who is capable of taking up this responsibilty.
7. The one of it must be able to see and plan a future this company, someone who can see what level should this company be brought to.
8. The one must be a gd accountant, to take care of the company spending and funds.

says:
from all the 8 pointes above ~ these are what i think a one of it should be
says:
some how ~ you have meet them
says:
i listed them for you not that i want you to take up
says:
but from a person who loves it and i know for sure i am not the one who will take over deep from the bottom of my heart
says:
that for sure
says:
so to me the one of it must be like this wheather izzit you or someone eles, for we know the situation better than anyone
says:
So i guess this is also y i ask you to take up the post, not because there is only you, but rather is only you who can do it.
says:
\Not everyone can do it, of cos there will be someone better than you who can do the job
says:
but to me you look like you are plan to do it, i see a growth in it in future when i think of it in the hands of yours
says:
becos you have the passion for these gals and you the most humble person i met whom i believe can stand btw the gap of sch and it
says:
it will also growth in yr hands becos you know what is best for her and you know what she is lack of and what she needs.
says:
like a mother
says:
i truly believe in this
says:
let GOD's will be done and not mine

*the above is an unedited version of the convo, i hesitated if i should post this or post and change blog! but well, to me nothing to hide, perhaps is just someone's point of view. i dont doubt my own leadership, some do know i dont have the confidence as well. yes, the solution is pray and ask God for strength, i do know not that i did not do it, but to me this is not the priority yet. i am glad with what i am doing right now, i think i need a break from there. this reminded me ru sent me an article and spent time with me to understand what a leader should be. honestly, i really do think i cant cos i am not a far sighted person, i just shared recently that even my own life plan is till before i turn 25... i dont even know if i can see that far in other areas.

ok, i think i seem vexed, a little by all the questions being asked when ppl sees me. i dunch know, let the last sentence, let God's plan be done. so can stop asking me? ask God?? (:

2008-05-01T04:02:00.002+08:00

it has been a long time! (:

okie what should i say.....

work is hectic because it is month end.

school is over because i just finished my exam. yay!

went to watch Iron Man today with the usual ones. the movie was so so so nice....
despite being tired after knocking off at 10pm, i enjoyed the whole show.
(really sorry to make u guys wait for so long, sorry!)

2008-04-11T13:18:00.002+08:00

2 more weeks to my only paper....
and i am way behind.. think i nv learnt my lesson, even though this time round i started the earliest among all my exams in SIM.

guess i have to make plans for overnight studies... (:
whole of next week gonna be on half day leave each day, really needed the discipline to start revising... hmmm thinking of place to park myself...
HK cafe is too far from work....

been trying to catch up on sleep, haha, but my efforts were to no avail..
last night was tired, but chatted with avril all the way till abt 4am!
it was a good time chatting with her... was so amazed by her! haha
thanks for accompanying me to enrolment too..

hmmm enrolment.....

2008-03-24T20:30:00.002+08:00

How wide is Your love
That You would stretch Your arms
And go around the world
And why for me would a Savior's cry be heard

I don't know
Why You went where I was meant to go
I don't know
Why You love me so

Those were my nails
That was my crown
That pierced Your hands and Your brow

Those were my thorns
Those were my scorns
Those were my tears that fell down
And just as You said it would be
You did it all for meAnd after
You counted the cost
You took my shame, my blame
On my cross

How deep is Your grace
That you could see my need
And chose to take my place
And then for me, these words I'd hear You say

Father no
Forgive them for they know not what they do
I will go
Because I love them so

after You counted the cost You took my shame, my blame on my cross

-what a wonderful love-
i heard this on one of the night services in church. it was so beautiful.

2008-03-18T02:37:00.002+08:00

elisa called today! yeah i was happy to hear ur voice.. (:
thanks for listening to me... yeah you can be praying for me on that..

for the others, well, just share in summary... haha
i have some areas of concerns in my heart, and the funny thing is i know what God wanted me to learn from it. haha got that inspiration as i shared with elisa. indeed, i should hold on to the faith that He will guide me even when i fear.

elisa asked me if after making those decisions, will i have time for myself? i wondered... haha
but if i reject, she will be a burden in my heart, if i accept, i fear for my inadequacy. if i reject, someone may come along the way to guide her, if i accept, can i hold her there and help her grow? aiyo.... decisions again.... hai...

maybe cos it speaks of commitment... am i committing too much? but i enjoy the process..

aside to tay, so nice of u to remember to update me abt ur date. (: hope my advise on ur planning helped.. no worries abt the rejection now, is not a failure anyway. shall see after exam, concentrate first! should give some room and concern during this period of preparation la... (: okie a step taken... (: -guess u said u wanna show me e photo, bluffing me again?- haha

2008-03-14T01:13:00.005+08:00

i am so glad that sy decided to stay..
was so sad yest when i knew abt it, though i knew her for barely half a yr.
guess the friendship we had, made me felt so affected by it.
didnt expect the impact on me, but i guess like what boss said, the dept has really bonded well.
i thank God for this, esp since is my first job.
had an opportunity to finally answer her qns to me, didnt know how to explain to her when she asked what is my makes me carry on life/motivated each day (something along this line).
told her are friends, but i guess is people ba, so that i can show the love like Jesus do to me.
God create nice opportunity when we have patience to wait. (:

finally down with presentation!
thanks my fren for picking me from sch (:
appreciated that...

2008-03-10T18:24:00.002+08:00

two more weeks to easter!
however, the death/resurrection of our Lord should be in our hearts everyday, every moment. for that holds a victory sign that Jesus had accomplished His mission for the uworthy.

Qt hasnt been good for some time, been doing a few days of reading in a day.
guess due to busyness...

Last week was bad...
had 3 nights of 530am and waking up at 730am...
and i was late for work for a day at least.
no doubt i can sleep late, but with work, guess i cannot anymore.
i always remembered daniel tan(sim lect) said before since we are young, sleep less, spend more time on earning $. ahaha... money is not earn this way, there are other more impt stuff to spend on - like God, family, friends!

last sat met e drill com, and my dear AI AI is getting married! (:
Jasmine! my prayers for you is that your relationship be God-honouring and God will bless you both. (:
she has been the closest one to me in drill com, guess cos we entered together, and still remembered how we got messed up as jami lee and jasmine tan! (: so nice to have you back seriously!

this week, celece is leaving and i will be on my own solely to do the sg acc. gosh!
but i know the Lord has been faithful, whenever fear creeps in, He will send peace and reminded me of Him. just hope that this month sales will be fine... - holding on close to HIM -

this month will be a testing month as i see it, a test of time management... dealing with work, sch, assignments, various activities... wow! but i guess will be over soon, since when we are busy, time pass fast..