Thursday, October 11, 2012

bb girl..


After the check up ytd, we confirmed the new born coming next year end feb is a bb girl.
I am so thankful to know that she is growing well and everything is safe thus far. Of cos, I will still worry about how she will be when she is out since all this is not possible to see through the scans.
It also suddenly dawn on me that I am going to be a mommy soon... 

I feel scare and with a tinge of sadness. I feel I have not dated enough... or maybe I don’t feel love thus I am feeling this way... not sure... 

Am so tired, felt like everyone is draining me, I started venting at work. Is a bad sign. I don’t wish to talk about it. If possible, I just want to be left alone and sleep through everything. Will everything be ok after a sleep? My childhood fantasy again...

God, only You know how I feel. I commit each feeling to You.
I feel like crying... feel like having my mint ice cream... 


Thursday, October 04, 2012

manyathought

Many thoughts.. dunno where to begin also.. I trusted ppl unless proven otherwise.. to date, this theory still holds, silly? I dunno. I know is not an easy time now. I have waited and I feel God is moving things.. I beginning to feel God is answering prayers. Maybe is true that ppl ard may get impatient.. therefore we should wait. Hmmm will things be back to normal? Lord, how long do I wait and what will unfold? I hope things be back to how it used to be.. it didn't feel good to feel what I am feeling and of cos I do ask:"God, why?" I only wanted a simple life.. one who cares and dotes...

Friday, September 21, 2012

Enough

I think this is enough..

My thoughts...

Yup as expected it just passed by without mentioned.. I didn't remind..

Guess this preg or period made me stronger! Daring to try things I wanted to but nv try before! Had a great time @ mag's.. Am Gg pedi with her soon and maybe WAXING! Haa! (since nobody reads) I always wanted but nv dare to!! Now I just want to try!!! Is it the hormones??? I really do think so!!

I think preg makes the whole body goes hay wire! So maybe doing that will at least let the nurses or docs have a better 'experience' when handling down under... :P what a naughty thought! But like what was shared is courtesy!! :) Haa!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Time passes..

It was just 3 yrs ago.. But 3 yrs later I kept it away.. Don't think he will rem anyway..

Is amazing how much I have grown in these 3 yrs! Learning to be a wife and now Gg to be a mom.. And so what's next? Life is challenging isn't it..

Thank God for placing some of u ard, ppl who has special place in my heart to help through this. God, please teach me what to do..

Saturday, September 15, 2012

My prayer..

Abba Father, let me be
Yours and Yours alone.
May my will for ever be
Evermore Your own.
Never let my heart grow cold,
Never let me go.
Abba Father, let me be
Yours and Yours alone.

God, never let me go.. Same to u..

Thursday, September 13, 2012

梦一场

我们都曾经寂寞而给对方承诺 我们都因为折磨而厌倦了生活
只是这样的日子 同样的方式 还要多久
我们改变了态度而接纳了对方 我们委屈了自己成全谁的梦想
只是这样的日子 还剩下多少 已不重要

时常想起过去的温存 它让我在夜里不会冷
你说一个人的美丽是认真 两个人能在一起是缘份

早知道是这样 像梦一场 我才不会把爱都放在同一个地方
我能原谅 你的荒唐 荒唐的是我没有办法遗忘
早知道是这样 如梦一场 我又何必把泪都锁在自己的眼眶
让你去疯 让你去狂 让你在没有我的地方坚强
让我在没有你的地方疗伤

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

What if...

What if God did not stop it?

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

真心的朋友

我们在生命中许要几个真心的朋友?
我很感谢我生命里的好朋友...

A song I heard at work, which triggered my thought. I always think I am a true and nice friend to ppl, I treat ppl with sincerity since young. I wanted to be everyone's best friend when I young - how silly was that... :)

I recalled how I used to chase up 3rd floor classroom to reprimand a pri sch fren of mine who was rude to his mom, his mom was heart broken waiting at the sch hall for his appearance. Strangely, at P4, I will think of doing that. Haa sound silly... He was a violent boy, how scared I was at that time..

How am I feeling today?

Sunday, September 09, 2012

Sunday afternoon

I don't usually sleep by myself on a Sunday afternoon since hmm 4 yrs ago... Rather i don't even have the habit of naps...

Now I m by myself.. Napping..

Saturday, September 08, 2012

To be or not to be..

I decided to share my thoughts again.. Maybe it backfired, I dunno...

Think we see things differently maybe? Things we did not resolve before we decided to be together forever.. And now perhaps it is piling and going to explode.

Today is actually one of my happiest day after the whole thing. We went shopping for the whole afternoon, and our hands were locked again.. Yea I ended it with my thoughts and feeling..

To put it simple, I really just want him to be happy.. I also want him to stay close to Him..

Guessed I have failed in my role and vow.. Such a failure I am isn't it... Maybe it was him but all along it was me...

God's will

1) God's sovereign will - Our God is in control of everything

2) God's moral will - what to do and not to do, which are found in the bible.

3) God's permissible will - God allowed it to happen such as suffering, sins...

4) God's directive will - not my will but Thy will be done..

Friday, September 07, 2012

The meaning of life

Took half day to accompany mom for her mammography. Met a lady whose eyes were red, guess she is in pain.

Maybe she was just diagnosed to be a cancer patient. In life, many ppl won't think or consider illness till illness hits them. I could be one of them too. I never think that certain things I will be going through but I am.

So what should I do since knowing that life is short, so much to achieve and yet we dunno how much time we have. Thus happy or sad, we still need to pass that 1 day, why not let it be a happy day? :)

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Can't get to sleep

不知道为什么睡不着。
He is snoring in bed... He must be too tired these days..

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

There is none like You

There is none like You,
No one else can touch my heart like You do,
I can search for all eternity Lord
And find, there is none like You.

Your mercy flows like a river wide,
And healing comes from Your hand.
Suffering children are safe in Your arms,
There is none like You.

Monday, September 03, 2012

Visit to the gynea

He is getting on my nerves again. I don’t know if he is aware of the procedure. Well, SOP again. But he took a long while at HR, hmmm... am I going to feel guilty again?


Came to hear abt Cheryl’s mom, wishing her well soon. Especially at this age, been hearing stories about parents falling ill. Dennis shared he will be taking leaves to help and I think he has done alot for her family, well family as he said. Family, a heart warming word. Haa I rem Frankie mentioned to me, the child is only 3 yrs old once, 4 yrs old once etc, hence we should spend time with our children and enjoy their company. By the time, they reach dating years they wont need parents anymore, love is just like air to them. Haa, I must admit sometimes this can be rather true.

Today we visited the gynea, bb is growing well. Ah 9cm! That’s fast, each visit he/she will grow by at least twice. Life is amazing isn’t it? I can imagine myself being in my mom’s womb and forming each part of my body. That’s God creation! The next visit will be the detailed scan.

OR2012 was rather boring. The only thing that touched my heart most is worship and the sharing of Proverbs 31 by Mrs Tay. I have failed, so difficult.

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies,
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it,
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Saturday, September 01, 2012

Sorry I lied...

Does love change so fast?
I read through my entries and felt things changed.

Honestly, I didn't feel good Abt this morning because hope was given but usually it is deflated. This is also not once. U asked if I want, I didn't want to make u feel made used, like i needed u. I rather it be Sth u want to do for me. 想:现在的你和以前不一样.

I think I had such a strong feel because I try very best to fulfil the things I promised. You didnt like me to break promise made to you, but I see you breaking mine. Maybe to you, u didn't promise. But u also know I didn't like plans to be changed. In fact, I knew this morning this will be expected. I thought maybe this period I will feel alittle love from u, but as I walk out on my own, as I carry my heavy bag, my heart was heavier. I felt unwanted and unloved.

I know he is tired, physically, mentally, maybe emotionally too. Perhaps I am asking too much.

I see preg ladies on the road, most often with the hubby along side, holding them. Honestly, I felt this preg, I am all alone. I didn't feel love. I felt upset that things changed. I didn't like this stage of my life.. I feel like just running away... I puke ytd, I needed a hug, from who?

This is a place I just want to rant how I feel.. Maybe these 2 days is a good break for us..

Friday, August 31, 2012

Grace and Mercy

Came to hear abt Jas’s bb girl, she was born with paralyse left cheek. Tried to text her but no reply, till I met Syl. So sad, I can feel the pain she has for the little girl, heard she been crying and Syl looked tired. I used to rem how we always talk about wanting to start a family with the loved one and being up-to-date housewives. I can truly understand the fears she had when she was carrying the child.


Met eli last night, as we chat I shared with her some of my feeling over this child... like I told hb, many things can be owned by us, bearing our names. A child is someone unique because he carries the parents’ traits; I feel is something personal and close to my heart next to the marriage cert which bore our names too. Different pair of couples will have a different child; this is one of me and him. Thus I feel it is special.

I want to play my role and responsibility, and to end it well... God, I hope you be pleased with me, walking on the narrow path is hard with so many expectations, but it is a path I chose 13 yrs ago. The many decisions I made I know You are guiding and as You unfold the plan, teach me to understand and show me Your grace and mercy.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Breakaway

So happy that he got to where he is today, and he won the competition. No matter how small the award can be, I feel he has gained the recognition and affirmation from the management. Is so not easy but he did it. God, I know You have blessed him. Please continue to grant him favour at work for this is a place where I know he is happy and proud of his own achievement.


I had a surprise breakfast today! thanks so much, so sweet..

I didn’t have a good day at work, I don’t like to be clearing ppl’s shit. Yet, I have to do it again. I want to have ice cream tonight, if not I think I will really cry. I didn’t like Aug 2012, feel like taking a break and to be away for a while. So many had gone for their holidays and back refreshed.

I think it may be good for me and maybe you.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

(:

I read the diary last night! Too engrossed in the memories that I didn’t know he came back from cycling.


Am bored at work, Dennis came over to disturb me. Haa I was reminded of JCD days. Though it was tough, but that’s where many memories were shared. Jeremy called me and looked for sim/wn, I asked why is he always calling me and looking for somebody else, this is so sad! Well, at least he said something humane, I am more friendly (: yea, also realised that am too friendly when I was conversing with a vendor later...

I like to have interactions with ppl, I think this is what I like my job to be. Numbers can be boring, but to switch line at this age is too risky. If I ever have a chance, I will really want to try PR related jobs. (: tonight has no plan yet, he will be OT-ing and I don’t wish to be alone. Don’t know why nowadays I found myself rather alone when I have pockets of free time. In the past, my days are always pack with activities. Maybe after married I always run back to mom’s place, but this time round I want to hang out with the old friends. I am still waiting for Elaine’s reply for dinner...

Today on my way to work, heard from the radio emcee asking how many friends do you have in your life that you are still close to? Studies from UK states that one should have more than 10 close friends esp during their mid life so they won’t develop some psychological issue (I think). Interestingly, some of the faces pop up, thought some have not met for a while, but when we meet it seems like we never left, how nice it is. I think I have more than 10, which I am very thankful for.

Always heard a song on my way to work, it set my thoughts thinking – Patti Smith, Sometimes love just aint enough. Feel like having a hug sometimes...

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

From the heart

It is such a dilemma that sometimes you wish for the man to be successful, yet you worry that the man will attract, like bees to honey. I sincerely wish for him to be successful and happy, but I also think he can attract, I don’t know is this a good thing. I cannot control him. Ok, I think I am jealous, but all along I am like this what, yea just maybe he doesn’t know, how to show him also? I doubt he know I find him attractive when he is focusing, such as playing the guitar or even at work.


However, I do hope that he will win this competition too. I think God has blessed him at work. God, please continue to show your grace and mercy on him. No matter what the future holds, I will be happy if he is.

My 1st Attempt

Today I cooked fried rice! I was excited, and I did it within 10mins! So proud of myself... maybe because I have known what are the ingredients I will use and the method to do it. Though is my 1st try, I think the rice may have fried for too long. I was worried about half-cook food if Law were to try, but well I already prep that he won’t be eating since he is meeting CC for breakfast and guess lunch will be a quick one for him today. Honestly, a little sad he didn’t try la, but is okie... not like is a big thing.


I had this urge for home cook food, thus I started to grow tired of outside food. I think I beginning to feel it since I read a fren’s page and she mentioned abt cooking etc. I always thought it to be difficult, but it is not! Haa, anyway I seldom have the chance to, and I think I made a mess of the kitchen today. But dad is kind, he didn’t complain but I saw him wiping something away... I always make sure I clear up, maybe is the smell. Law also said I smelled of fried rice, so sad. No encouragement today for my 1st attempt, but is okie, I know can already...

I can feel this bb only wants to eat Chinese food... hmmm... I have been craving for Chinese food, not sure what’s going to happen to my pasta at home though. (:

I hope his presentation goes well today, he really did spend much effort into it. God, I pray that You help him to focus at work and to do well for today’s presentation. Take away the nervousness and grant him the peace and a clear mind to share what he has planned.

Wn is back today. She wanted to review the whole AP maintenance process, and see what is necessary etc. I was upset! I told her we are already halfway and now want to review! What’s this! Always like that, halfway through change, I really beginning to feel I don’t like here anymore.
I want to eat nice ice cream, shall find an opportunity to enjoy at a nice cozy place after work one day.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Ice Cream

Hao xiang chi ice cream................... i want mint ice cream!! have yet to eat one to help myself feel better.
Did i mention i always eat ice cream when i am feeling low? It cools my heart and sweeten it. *yummy*

Blessings

We always talk about counting our blessings, sometimes I do thank God for small little things that happen even in the day of work. It can even be as simple as for having a peaceful day without hiccups.


I thank God for allowing me to know Him. I will always remember how I chided Marie off when she tried to introduce Him to me. Haa.. I seldom scold ppl other than GB girls, but I told her off...

I thank God for my family who dotes and loves me alot. I also thank God for the new family I have! I once read when you are feeling unloved, at least be thankful you had a chance to love; some don’t even have this opportunity. Yup, I am thankful for that, so counting back God has been kind to me too. Yup, I am still thankful for the relationship that we are working on.

Yesterday, butt shared something with me. Many decisions we made no matter how small is spirit-led. For eg, when you are full, do you still want to eat some more? NO! The spirit-led within you tells you if you continue to eat you will be overeating and consequences come – Fat, vomit etc... I never saw decision making in that light, at least not in the spirit-led kind of perspectives. I think Lawrence shared with me before during one of the bs ba, else seems like it was discussed with someone before. I think the decision to stay is a spirit-led decision, showing grace and giving space is also a spirit-led decision.

Share a song someone shared with me today... Laura Story ‘Blessings’

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

Friday, August 24, 2012

Romance Love

Today i was reminded during marriage preparation, Pastor did tell us about romance love that will fade. So when it fade, what will happen? For most married couple, romance love fade maybe 1 yr later because u see each other everyday. Some maybe wont even feel the romance love fade because they may have ease through the transition.

Romance Love fades and it requires effort to be put in to build it up again. Love is not just about feeling. It entails responsibilities, trust, patience etc.. i was reminded of 1 Cor 13. Many couples will feel when romance love fades if they truely think about it, next is what? Find a new gf?

Guess for me when it fades, it becomes a responsibility for me to ensure my husband's needs are met. In sickness, in health... Or maybe I always took it upon myself it is my responsibility to ensure his basic needs are met, fed well, zzz well, doing little things for him or even serving him.

My thought...

So much thought went through my mind when I was driving.


Today I prepared breakfast, wanted to try something different. I had this urge to have a sumptuous meal and decided to spend a little effort. I knew in my heart is not because for myself, I feel I want to do something special for him.

I didn’t want to find out, but yet I want to know. I want to know how he is feeling and if he is coping well. I know truth hurts. I know. Sometimes I feel I am doing something but I dunno what the outcome is. Will it be like before? I dunno.. 2 yrs down the road, does it mean I will be going through the same thing? I felt meaningless doing the things I did though I know I have to. I felt I am the one assuring all the time, who will assure me? Felt so lonely. I nv felt like this before.

I pondered does it also mean 2 yrs down the road I may give up? The child will be 2, so what can I do? The thought of it is so scary, it makes me feel this whole thing is so selfish.

Was resolving a case I have with a colleague. Her conclusion to me is to DO IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME. How often do we know the step we took is right or not? Is an irony. But some things I am sure there is a clear line.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

What Faith can do

A beautiful song i heard as i was listening to my music at work. Somehow, it inspired me to search for the lyrics.

What Faith Can Do

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes
And make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache
You think it's more than you can take
But you're stronger
Stronger than you know

Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining
I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason
For someone not to try

Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright

Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That's what faith can do)
When the world says you can't
It'll tell you that you can

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
That's what faith can do
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise


New look for a new start..

I went to change the outlook of my blog, decided to have a fresh start for this, maybe can help me feel better.


I seem to have developed a fear for loneliness. I don’t want to be alone, be it at home or sleeping. I don’t want to have that feeling anymore. God, I never have to fear this, but now I do. Last night, I went home and was alone. What will it be like when the house comes? I don’t dare to think further

Moving on...

Mood: Moodless..
It has been a week.

I know you are trying to make it as comfortable for me as possible. Both of us knew, deep down there is a hole that we want to just hide in so nobody can find us, not doing anything and just be in daze.

I have been in daze for a while.. I still do the things I want to do, but the feelings are different, and things will not be the same again. Going to be better or worst? I really dunno..

Oi used to say whenever I am in the ‘I dunno’ mood, she will chose to leave me alone for a while, at least for that particular call she made.

Recently, been thinking abt the past, particularly from 2008, think those were my really happy moments all my life. Feeling so emo now, I know if I share, wont make you feel any better too.

God, I needed You.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

i dunno what to title this...

I don’t know what to title this...


The last entry was Mar 2010, guess nobody will rem the existence of this blog, hence decided to reuse and pen down my thoughts.

I have yet to write/blog in a long while. Personally after this last entry, I switched to another combine blog to rem our wedding journey and ahead. However, it was stopped since motivation from one is tough to maintain. I browsed through my old entries, particularly the last one before I switched, I finally knew why the old hymm ministered to me and I wanted it to be included in my marriage worship, does he know?

When love is tried as loved ones change,

hold still to hope though all seems strange,

Till ease returns and love grows wise

through listening ears and opened eyes.

When love is torn and trust betrayed,

pray strength to love till torments fade,

Till lovers keep no score of wrong,

but hear through pain loves Easter song

I always felt that this song bears alot of meaning, it already tells me how difficult the journey of marriage can be. Maybe, I thought I will have a wonderful one. But I must say, I really do think I had a wonderful one until the trust was betrayed.

I felt so miserable. I really do. I know he is having a hard time too and most probably got whacked/will be by a lot of ppl. What hurts me is the truth. Is an irony that I want to hear yet I find myself biting my lips to hear? Women cant help but to compare, I don’t wish to. I felt I always wanted him to be by my side, not much expectation but just want to follow where he go and he be with me when I needed him.

This journey is so tough, the road to recovery is so hard.

God, please be near us.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

i love this song, as i came across this. (:
i thought the lyrics to be rather meaningful, it touches my heart as i recalled the journey 2 of us took.. and when love is found....

When Love is found and hope comes home,
sing and be glad that two are one.
When love explodes and fills the sky,
praise God and share our Makers joy.

When love has flowered in trust and care
build both each day, that love may dare
To reach beyond homes warmth and light
to serve and strive for truth and right.

When love is tried as loved ones change,
hold still to hope though all seems strange,
Till ease returns and love grows wise
through listening ears and opened eyes.

When love is torn and trust betrayed,
pray strength to love till torments fade,
Till lovers keep no score of wrong,
but hear through pain loves Easter song

Praise God for love, praise God for life
in age or youth, in husband, wife.
Lift up your heart let love be fed
through death and life in broken bread.

love u!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the past few days hasnt been easy for me i guess. praying that things will change for the better. and hope that God will continue to be the centre and blessing our lives.

i left Job for a while! time to get back on it! is always a joy to be reading and meditating His Word, aint it? was encouraged by a friend's reflection this morning! Thank God for such a morning! (:

Monday, February 08, 2010

felt kinda funny.
haha, i think i should really get a change of environment. i do believe in the importance of around ppl who are on fire for God. here makes my spirit down. :( felt myself always defending and being criticised at.. boo! (though i know they may not know what i mean) still i love them, a loving bunch, will be able to progress IF i am a non-christian. but to drop my faith for this kinda friendship, no thanks! (:

oopss, being on this pms mood! haha... emoing.. so not me, dunno where did i learn this emo-ism from. hur. (:

work been alright, kinda looking forward to a change environment, yet a sentimental me, is resistance to change. haha, what a contradiction la.

went to lawrence's ahma's place last night. haa, quite an insight to see another family gathering, is kinda different from mine, guess cos mine is a bigger family bah. and is always very noisy due to the clusters of aunties grp, uncles cum some aunties grp, adult cousins grp, younger cousins grp, and the forever loud TV. (: that's my family. another i found abt myself is i dun fancy vegetarian food. but if there is, i guess i will just opt for the real vege (: haha, i think the curry vege was nice.. (: and ah ma is cute, just like mine too! ah ha.. mine can nag at the same thing over an interval of 1 min max! fantastic! (:

(i also wanna go on hols!! will u bring me? :P)

Friday, February 05, 2010

hai feeling so upset.. why?
i am afraid to think further, yet there is always one solution to end it all together..

anyway, happy birthday Jac! (:
guess haven been really spending time with u too, so sorry that today cant meet u as well!
well, we are meeting next tue though! (:

CNY is coming, and i haven gotten anything done yet.. which is kinda bad though.
i need to pack my stuff, and i need to get new stuff!
hopefully can make a trip down PPC, to breath in a little of the cny breath!

nothing much to update, tml the 1st session of Spiritual Badgework! needs prayer on that.. (:

deep down, i still miss u though... hai... what a weekend..

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Happy NEW YEAR! haha.. a little late but well... (:

am unhappy today!!!!!! sian...

why do you give birth when u know that the children that you give birth to will curse ur life?
why do u even want to go to a fortune teller to know if this child will bless u, if not, u gonna abort?

hai... i find myself wanting to give an answer but yet i cannot convince. so upset with myself and i have to rant here.

heard abt the life story of a girl who was 'abandoned' because she is a curse to the family business. then to the parents, why do u still want to give birth? makes the girl felt so unloved. it sound like a typical drama but yet it is so real. i think i was upset and frustrate a little. this story is so sad, makes me want to cry.

on the other hand, i felt thankful for my family.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
in the new year, guess this year will be a busy year, perhaps exciting too! with the transitions i have... (:

The Lord has been good too! pray that He will continue to guide me.. (:

Wednesday, November 25, 2009



yay!!! i finally found the soy i have been looking for!
Suntec had this salad bar called "Grand Salad" and i really love this soy that they added to it.
*yummy*

Serving Suggestion

Ideal for soups, salad dressings, vegetable sauces and oriental cooking.

Ingredients

Water, soya beans, sea salt, koji (Aspergillus oryzae).

Nutritional Information

per 100g:
Energy 372kJ/89kcal, Protein 11.1g, Carbohydrate 10.8g, Fat 0.1g.

Other Information

Tamari soy sauce is a traditional Japanese product. Soya beans are naturally fermented in cedar casks, resulting in a unique, robust flavour.
More commonly used in cooking, Tamari is richer than Shoyu and has a stronger, sharper taste and aroma, so less is needed to bring out the flavour of your favourite dishes.

Gluten Free, Less than 5% fat, Organic, Yeast Free


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Dinner cum chit chat with Sharony

Finally a day that I can meet up with Sharony!
The closest friend I have in church.. :)
Had a nice dinner at Aerin.. Kinda steep though but well, thought the food was not that bad to me.. Haa hope to u too! :)

Had some chit chat.. Thanks for the reminder again.. :)
Yeah not easy, but persevere on..
At least for now, not gonna move out of where we are, but I guess is really to take the initiatives again..

So not easy.. But yea.. Hai...

P/s: thanks Sharony! Haa left a love note @ ur desk!
P/s: I thought of u! - butt n teo... :D

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

All i want for Christmas is...... YOU!!!

haa.. for whoever that picks my name, i know what i wanted!!! (: just wonder if you can really gets it here... (: if u do, i will be soooo happy! (see below k)





this or...



or this...



TADA! the last being my favourite!! the latest design.. haha but guess if i lay my hands on either one, will still be happy.. (:
initially saw this design on the watch, which i love it too! then i saw it on wristlet and i changed my love one!(:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

haven been posting for a while.. (:
well.. am really glad that i managed to have a chat with ah hui on faith and Christianity issues..
she has been one that i didnt get to talk much to about, thinking she only depends on herself. had a nice chat and am inviting her for Christmas service! (: praying that she and daniel can attend.

it is also a nice feeling to have ur good fren going with u for any of the wedding stuff.. (:
to be able to share some ideas and to laugh at some stuff or even to think of some stuff that the bf can never understand - the man just dont get it!

am glad that we settled one thing.. (:
a dream wedding...

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

:)

I had fun at the GB camp!!! :) guess I do miss spending time with GB girls.. :)

Am glad too we can start our bs soon! ;)
Really hope more girls can come but also scare am inadequate :(

What I was glad was the bf visit! Haa, though not directly, but still feel good abt it :) haa..

Dunno why these few days been rather weird.. Hai :(

Ah.. Drop it... Sian...

Anyway this post is for me to try out using iphone.. :)

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

came across this on facebook.. how i miss the younger days!
playing the childish games and sweating ourselves out... (:

here's the sch song!

we belong to woodsville primary school
we always obey the golden rule
early to bed and early to rise
off to school to learn to be wise

we appear well-groomed and neatly dressed
all prepared to do our best
with keen minds and eager hands
we will work as hard... as ants

to woodsville, woodsville, here we come
to the school that greets the rising sun
always prevail through perseverance
onwards everyone

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Forgiveness is the glue that repairs broken relationships

yup.. this is what i read in QT today online..
is forgiveness easy? haa.. to me it seems easy.. maybe cos i am forgetful.. (:
cant help to feel sad that is it for a decade yr of friendship.. laughing at so many things in the past.. but now no longer.. dun really know where i can hide so i dun see ur face and thus can hide my feelings too... this is it! tired to ponder how.. just looking ahead..

hai, felt so choked.. it has been a while and yet we gonna talk abt it again..
feeling a little dread abt it, but i know it will help u..

i am bored @ work..
then read QT on this.. and i thot of the many many things that went through recently..

today's yahoo headline, the recent flats have been over subscribed! right...
haa.. am excited abt it.. but guess pretty much is the same result as the previous time.. :(
looking forward though... (:

Monday, September 21, 2009

20.09.2009
a date to remember... (:

the bf gave a surprise and am touched for the things that he had done.
my prayer will be that God will be pleased and continue to be the centre of our lives.
thanks for going through the planning, the sacrifices made for me..

haaa.. nv knew u could think of such a surprise. but well... knowing u, doing this is already a nice thing for me.. (: thanks for doing so much and for loving me!

and ecp is really a place that brought back much memories... (:

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Hillsong - This is Our God - With Subtitles/Lyrics

Your grace is enough
More than I need
And your word I will believe
I wait on You
You're near again
And you spirit make me new

And I will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And I will worship you here

Your presence in me
Jesus left them there
By the power of your word
I am restored
I am redeemed
By your spirit I am free

And I will fall at Your feet
I will fall at your feet
And I will worship You here

The feeling You gave all for us
Surrendered Your life upon the cross
Great is the love brought up for all
This is our God

Lifted our life from death to life
Forever our God is glorified
Certain the king rescued the world
This is our God

And I will fall at Your feet
I will fall at Your feet
And I will worship You here

And I will fall at Your feet
I will fall at Your feet
And I will worship You here



this is simply awesome!

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

I have been pondering over what was shared during lunch.. haa.. guessed you are wrong this time!
It really set me thinking this time round that silence is not always golden! *bleah*

went to read utmost, decided to do some reading since i have some spare time and i am feeling grouchy. (after reading, realised it wasnt today, but well, quite apt)

ppl say to me i am faithful. am i really faithful?
The goal of faithfulness is not that we will do work for God, but that He will be free to do His work through us. God calls us to His service and places tremendous responsibilities on us. He expects no complaining on our part and offers no explanation on His part. God wants to use us as He used His own Son.

Which reminds me of our last week studies. the qns raised (let me share in my understanding) - when we work, we do with our heart in obedience. How about doing it but with a heavy heart, or simply don't feel like doing it? think this qns kept in my mind because often time i do feel it. i do it but i dun feel like doing it. is it being obedient? what if it is not what God wants me to do? haa.. it led to so many qns!

my take was that if it is not where God wants me to go, He will call me out. How? i do not know, but when it comes a point that i need to make a decision, i will have a peace at heart. How about doing w/o the heart? my take was it requires obedience to do so, and a simple Faith. Afterall, if it doesnt go against God, and it can be a good testimony, being a salt and a light to the dark world, why not?

i guess i am getting impatient with my growth. i know i didnt want it this way thus i made myself read merely for the sake of reading. For eg for 1 Chron, ask me what i have learnt? i will say is boring! this is sooooo wrong! :(

guess the advice given to me set me thinking. which is good also la.

Saturday, August 01, 2009

i rem how jac got mad at me when i made changes to the plans we have.
and i guess i know how jac felt..
now...
each plan made, i am excited.. even packing my bag and getting my clothes ready the night be4.. sound like a little girl? i am that excited, yes i am! i do understand things have to change, due to unforeseen circumstances, but i dun mean this. guess i feel that because is an expectation of mine. sorry for being so selfish and not considering u, ur stand, ur ability..

i may have repeated it afew times, abt ur changing ideas, changing plans..i know u want to please me, as much as i will want to please u too..i may have forgotten what was said and done exactly, but guess, i rem how i felt..this reminded me of the seminar i attended by Dr Huang, invited by FOTF.

always thot was being nice & thoughtful.. nv had such a hurtful convo.. uncontrollable still...i never meant it to be any hurtful. take it am insensitive... yest was like this, today too..

am looking forward to tml, been on my lips for a week long... and so excited i was...already had plans in mind what gonna take place till the time comes..now the feeling is so different...

really hope will feel better after a sleep... i dun like this seriousy.. hurt
but i cant calm down even after i blogged
wad abt tml? if u dun begin, i wont feel any better.. anyway guess u wont read this..

Thursday, June 04, 2009

hmm... having a weird feeling..
suddenly in a not-sure-what-to-do state..
am free this weekend.. kept fri free to acc teo if she needs, but she also aint sure if she will be free..
just worried she may need someone to be with her..

as for sat.. 4-6pm prayer time! follow which house warming at leaf's? well, unless going with jy, else will be kinda weird.. so morning gonna meet up with van.. and after that?

sun, as usual, church.. and then?

hmmm realised in the past was packed with activities, wont be filled with so much uncertainty.. i think i am more reliance, which isnt good sometime...

jy asked me a qns that made me ponder so who are the ones closest to me?
haa.. it begins by her qns on who are the close friends that she made in church.. which reminded me of what cousin yt told me on sun..

sometimes i wonder is it i am not thinking hard enough or she is simply thinking too much?
i answered her the friends i made in church may not be the closest but can be built..

the chat with her yesterday made me realised how different perspectives we both have. how she see hopeless-ness and i see faithfulness.. (:

Thursday, May 21, 2009

yay! i finally found the song that i have been hearing!

At the Cross (hillsong)

Oh Lord You’ve searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There’s no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now

You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done

And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
I know You love me
_____________________________
the chorus touches me the most.
i remembered i used to kneel and pray, facing my window...

Friday, May 15, 2009

i have received some photos from the rest on Kelly's wedding... (: shall post some of it here...
guess is more of our own photos than of the bride & groom... oops.. :P


arent them beautiful? (: am happy for her..

one of her evening gown...

the receptionists...

the receptionists...

haha.. one of the 'receptionist' (:

us! (:

us again...


the emceessss... (: my mandarin parner sy..


and the grand finale... (:

all work done and the couple is having a good time now in USA! (:
______________________________________________________

alright, after all the posting..
recently had a lot of thoughts after meeting ppl.. guess i have reached a limit..
and a resolution! happy!! (:

next... my job... :(
one down.. 2 more options to go.. Lord, lead me, will You?

read Utmost, the habit of enjoying adversity..
guess is a timely reminder?
going through the tough times with Him will enable me to experience Him deeper.. (:

recently came across a nice song.. shall post e lyrics when i found it..

Monday, May 11, 2009

yest marked a new journey for Yongky & Kelly.. such a sweet couple.. (:

reached Hilton as early as 2pm (supposedly 230pm), so head off to have a quick lunch with the bf.
haha, the bf had to accompany me ard Hilton, waiting alone for my hair do which took abt 30 mins, and accompany me again till abt 430 pm since i am the only one being so early... *thanks muchie!*

had my rehearsal @ e ballroom.. cool! 24th floor... i think it is my first time being in a high ballroom...
it is a small & cosy ballroom with about 23 tables, behind it is a swimming pool, where the couple held their solemnization..

tried out as my first time being an emcee..
it went well, however, i missed a line! oops.. not that obvious though since it is just a linking line.
thankfully, sy (mandarin emcee) noticed it, and skipped her portion too.. :P

such a busy day yesterday and am so drained today @ work.. dozing.. Zzzz
only managed to start off with a chapter of 2 King.. :P
*trying k*

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Yongky did a song dedication to Kelly! (:
so sweet... the song must have depict the love that Yongky has for Kelly and his desire to grow old together with her..

so here i am, using my blog, to record this sweet moment...
(i recalled i also blogged on how Yongky did his proposal! (: )
wishing them the fullest blessing from the bottom of my heart. (:

"Grow Old With You"

[Billy Idol (Speaking):]
Good afternoon everyone.
We're flying at 26,000 feet, moving
up to thirty thousand feet, and then we've got clear skies
all the way to Las Vegas, and right now we're bringing you some in-flight
entertainment. One of our first-class passengers would like to sing you a song
inspired by one of our coach passengers, and since we let our first-class
passengers do pretty much whatever they want, here he is.

[Robbie Hart (Singing):]
I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I'll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

Need you
Feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you
_____________________________________________
imagine you & him (her), growing old together and still holding hands along the street. (:

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

so much to give thanks for!

thanks for finally being able to meet me..
i waited for so long, so when u asked for a meal, i would surely go! (:
it went well, i supposed. at least having an understanding to the questions i have in mind.
i thank the Lord for the friendship shared still, the many jokes made and the many whinning we had. so fun!
things changed. maybe like what you said, we have grown up.
will take heed and try it out, hopefully we can all adjust together. (:
nevertheless, thanks!

lawrence came to pick me.
it gave lots of comfort. thanks for listening to me too. not easy for me now i guess, with this transitions.. shall take some time to adjust. thanks for being so patience too.. (:

Mei Yen read my blog regularly! (:
haa.. hi!!
lazy to blog for awhile.. well, at least u showed me there's another one who still visit this dead blog.. (: have a nice week yeah...

Thursday, April 23, 2009

know. i hope i am not being complacent..

this morning devotion reminded me to keep my focus on God - in everything that i do.
i wonder the dissatisfaction i have at work is it due to my lack of focus on Him.
i often doubted, but i thought i have been involving Him in my work..

anyway..

alot of things will fall in places when we have We in the center. a God-centered life is freedom that God had given to us. but it seems like many have forgotten abt Him, or did not even want to acknowledge Him. sometimes i wonder why is it so hard?

i often ask, if there is a rebirth, where do the incense/burnt offering goes to?
they cannot answer me... living in denial again..
isnt it nice to attend church as a family tog? -dreams-

my prayer of salvation.....

am thankful that you enjoyed yourself yesterday. (:
rather interesting day i thought....

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

phew....

came back from a malacca trip with my family.. was reluctant to go in the first place, since miao had invited me to her NP annual parade and i promised that i will be there to support her. well, mom insisted so there i went... Lawrence came along too, ha guess if he hadn't i will be sulking within me for missing the parade. sorry cousin miao.. hope u had fun yea? update me more when i see u...

Thank God for him, he was there to carry ahma's stuff, to take nice pictures of us, and the best part, to me, he could spend time with my family and a getaway for him to relax.

this is my first trip to malacca.. haa.. visited some places such as Jonker Street, St Paul's Church, Chirst Church Melaka, The Little Nonya (e show) filming ground, bees museum etc.. realised Melacca is a small little square town.. but the weather was a killer... after some walking and climbling, i perspired all over... bleah... overall, a rather fun trip..(:

butt:see photos in facebook or his blog...? lazy to post here.... missed u... (:

Thursday, April 16, 2009

am sick... down with mc again.. in 2 weeks, taken mc twice.. wonderful!
thanks for the love showered, it comforted my heart. (:

was down with a bad sore throat yest, but went ahead to meet su-lynn and after abt 2 hrs of sharing, my voice gave in..

we had a good chat i should say. it began with Lawrence.
After hearing her experience, it became clearer to me that i am not the only one undergoing the same process, which was pretty encouraging. She gave advice too, from her opinion. shared with her the plan we have, how we have been etc...

haha, realised she is the only person so far who see what i faced/will faced, guess because she knew Lawrence very well. thank God for the encouragement she shared, felt was an assurance that God gave me too. the blessing and sharing she gave to us, is so different, at least a different thing i am hearing from ppl who are concern abt us. (: had fun chatting with her.

shared with her about the desire in my heart that God prompted. as she shared, i could feel some similarity with her. how we both want to reach out to the girls/youth and how we want to be with them 24/7 if we can. shared how in the past, back at 34th, i could spend each day being with the girls, be it tutoring, praying or just hanging out with them, building a relationship with them. we both see time as an important factor when it come to building these relationship. of cos, now thing changes, i will need to know which is the ministry that i will want to be involved actively in, and to give time to the other half too. (:

well, she provided useful insight to my option of considering full time. i wanted to lay clear path and to pray about them.
1) to remain in the line
2) to be accepted as a teacher
3) full time ministry

full time was rather grey initially, but i sorta know how i can begin right now. so i guess will start looking at some christian organisations and explore..
this gonna be pretty exciting i guess, so will quickly list them down and start praying.. (:
guess the biggest issue that all will face is the acceptance of family and financial issue. sigh...
it is to put trust in God's providence. will i have that big faith? i know what my heart desire.
qns is do i trust Him to lead me?

such an inspiring night, thank God for it.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

complaints abt taking a budget airplane to aussie or bali?
sometimes i cannot understand the thoughts that ppl hold.

u want to have a relax time overseas, yet u complaint abt the cost.
u want good service yet u mind paying the extra.
u want everything up to ur expectation yet u want to minimize its cost.

how?

isnt it a give and take? u pay for what u asked for.

okie, just a lunch and it caused me to blog abt it..
guess the living standard in sg is high, thus we may have a higher expectation & our ks-ism sets in as well.

not that it bother me much anyway.. (:

had a chat with u..
i thot it was kinda nice since it was a while since we chatted.
always had the impression that sch work is occupying u..
i felt that you seems to have a certain perception that u cannot resolve and bingo! i was right
maybe i shouldnt have treated u as a little girl, guess that's one of the disadvantages of my 'motherly' nature.

alot of mixed feelings for the past weeks.. though it was buried deep down..
i always thought it wont be a prob esp so when you treat ppl with ur heart.
and i do have an expectation, that you will understand me.. much like a telepathy (:
in fact, it is pointless to talk abt things that happened for so long isnt it? esp when i will sleep through it.

hai.. i wonder when i will recover from this? time? for me or for u to adapt?
is it really an issue on adaptation?

many apologies for this post.. just my random thoughts (:

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

one down, one more to go...
really am thankful to those that helped out.sometimes, i wonder what i got myself into...
thanks for meeting me & the nice meal..
not all expensive food are good food, it can be a simple place with yummy food! (:

had a nice breakfast today..
it has been a while since i had mac breakfast.. (:

work this few days been alright...
not that there isnt anything to do.. but guess is the usual, mundane stuff...
went to warehouse to do a tagging of fixed asset.. warehouse is so messy and just messy!
tired.. stinked.. but had a nice meal and cab to and fro, so what more can i ask for?
easily contented indeed..

yeah, am easily contented....
so the proposal that u came out with in fact are rather fine with me..
but i feel it gonna be tough for us..
however, am thankful with ur sharing.. (:
yes, will trust & support u in that..

Friday, March 06, 2009

Some say love, It is a river,
That drowns the tender ring,
Some say love, It is a razor,
That leads your soul to bleed,
Some say love, It is a hunger,
And endless aching need,

I say love, It is a flower,
And you its only seen,
It's the heart, Afraid of breaking,
That never, Learns to dance,
It's the dream, Afraid of waking,
That never, Takes the chance,
It's the one, Who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to be,
And the soul, Afraid of dying,
That never, Learns to live,

And the night, Has been too lonely,
And the rode, Has been too long,
And you feel, That road is only,
For the lucky, And the strong,
Just remember, In the winter,
Far beneath, The bitter snow,
Lies a seed, That with the suns love,
In the spring, Becomes a rose
--------------------------------------------
just heard this song.. i do like e tune.. (:

Monday, March 02, 2009

took a walk at pebble bay.. yay finally!
thanks so much for the surprise, for coming down (:
felt much better seeing you..

thanks for helping me to prepare for bs! (:
helps my thoughts to process, hopefully i can handle it..
enjoyed preparing bs too!

aiyo... u aint responding to me...
u slept already??

Friday, February 27, 2009

aint happy when you are unhappy.
these few days woke up having the reluctance to do something..
and there's this unsettled feeling inside me for very long, it is so unusual for it to be inside for so long..

maybe my focus has shifted..
today read In The Upper Room, i realised i haven spend ample time with Him.
my focus over the last period wasnt on Him, which is my fear..

last night, u told me i am cautious, yes i think i am..
on one hand i didnt want to discourage you and on the other hand i wanted to prepare myself
i wish to have the time to imagine abit, to adjust abit, to get myself ready..
i didnt feel happy going back these few days.. i do feel discouraged and disappointed too.. i do feel the difference..

sometimes i wonder is it i cannot read you well enough..
--------------------------------------------------------------------
remaining still, knowing that You are God, the one in control.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

finally........

i went to Henderson Waves yest night! (: (yes Ivy, please see this and feel guilty
it is really really beautiful.. great to have you ard..
thank you for searching with me.. (no thanks to your attempt to scare me! hurmp!)
(was kinda disappointed if we gonna miss this and head for sentosa instead...)

thanks for being so patient & really nice towards me..
really appreciated it and thank God for you!

didnt know that u have such an intention behind it..
anyway didnt know how the convo geared towards u revealing it.. but i do appreciate that thoughts..
----------------------------------------------------------------

slept late last night and finding myself waking up at 5am...
then i cuddled myself and went back to sleep, waking up again at 610am, so tired..
decided not to follow dad's ride to office..

i really wasnt showing any attitude.. hai... :(

Friday, February 20, 2009

Praise to the Lord, Almighty

Praise to the Lord, the Almighty,
the King of creation!
O my soul, praise Him, for He is thy
health and salvation!
All ye who hear,
Now to His temple draw near;
Sing now in glad adoration!

Praise to the Lord, who o'er all
things so wondrously reigneth,
Who, as on wings of an eagle,
uplifteth, sustaineth.
Hast thou not seen
How thy desires all have been
Granted in what He ordaineth?

Praise to the Lord, who hath fearfully,
wondrously, made thee!
Health hath vouchsafed and, when
heedlessly falling, hath stayed thee.
What need or grief
Ever hath failed of relief?
Wings of His mercy did shade thee.

Praise to the Lord, who doth prosper
thy work and defend thee,
Who from the heavens the streams of
His mercy doth send thee.
Ponder anew
What the Almighty can do,
Who with His love doth befriend thee.

Praise to the Lord! Oh, let all that
is in me adore Him!
All that hath life and breath, come
now with praises before Him!
Let the Amen
Sound from His people again;
Gladly for aye we adore Him.

-----------------------------------------------------
indeed, Praise to God for His wondrous work!

(:
am glad weekend is here again!

Sunday, February 01, 2009

am blogging to motivate people to blog... what an irony..
was blogging in faithbook, but decided to change to cont here, reason being, i wanna do a whole break down of what God spoke to me in Colossians! haha... think that will take me awhile...
but aint it cool to share what God spoke in details? (:

hasnt been blogging for awhile as i was writing my thoughts in a separate document...
i never once let anyone read my diary except for an open blog like this..
therefore, treasure it! (: (i know you will)

work for the past few days had been a killer... maybe also cos of the long breaks in dec and jan, hence, work seems hectic... just closed my accounts for dec 08 and now i am closing for jan 09... how fast time flies!

now the next thing to look forward to is drill competition in mar! the major event of the year!!
laying things down at His feet and knowing that God is in control...

CNY has been rather different this year, maybe cos visited pastor boon seng & aunty pat, and visted Wen wei & Bee lan, people i have never visited before.. and it was really interesting...
had lunch with pastor and dinner with WW... and that's how i spent my 3rd day of cny..

as for 2nd day, went over to Lawrence's place in the morning, it was a nice trip.. and special note: the dog is soooo cute still.. haa... i do have a good impression of the family too, nice and friendly (at least to me). after which was my place, elisa and ph came along.. (: and lastly dinner @ sharon's place... nice hospitality.. guess by then i am too tired to even help out and all... (:

1st day is the usual thing, with me being at grandma's place early in the morning then home the rest of the day.. it ended off with Lawrence coming over to my place at night and having us bringing my siblings out for a blading session and pool... (:

that's mostly what has been happening so far and i am happy.. (:
thanks again for always driving me around...
thanks too for being around..
and many thanks for the things u have done... (:

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A Qns being asked..

"Faith is not something man contributes to salvation but is itself a part of God's gift of salvation - it is God's gift to the sinner, not the sinner's gift to God"

my perspective was that nothing that i give to God can be classified as a gift to Him.my view is that i see that myself, a sinner, and God gave His son for me, is already the best gift that i have ever received, hence no amount of gift i give can be compared to that. on the other hand, i will like to say that all that i have-everything, i offer it up to Him. Just like offering my life as a living sacrifices to Him, to acknowledge the Lordship of Him in my life.

WW shared that sacrifices can also be things that we are comfortable with in our lives. (:
above is my humble perspective, and salvation comes from faith not by works..
aint sure if i answer ur qns...
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i really have no idea why did i say that prayer last night...
oh no.... felt that it was a wrong move...
hmmm....
anyway spent a longer time praying abt it last night...

Monday, January 12, 2009

will often hair blowing damage hair???
think i heard this somewhere be4.....
(i've been using it almost everyday!!!!) oh dear.....

attended Justin's wedding @ Grand Shanghai..
a nice ambience... is really a special wedding that i have attended so far..
and as usual, the bride- Karen is really pretty.. (:
so this filled up the whole sat with abt an hr spent at HQ with the drill peeps.. (:

thanks for driving me ard despite ur tiredness...
haha... and sorry for not letting you nap, but to settle my laptop.. rather ours (sis and mine)

caught Passengers... initially thought it was kinda boring show.. however, it is kinda exciting and nice towards the end.. (: kinda a nice show afterall...

work today seems alittle slow.. guess better to build the momentum and start clearing before the busy cny period comes... (:

was talking to jy.. haa again..
well... i do hope things will get better... sad eh..

Friday, January 09, 2009

was waiting for him to get back home.. so blog for a while..

sorry for not being able to help you feel better..
thought maybe is better for me to give u more space and just follow wherever you go...
will be praying for the things you shared today, in fact, when i prayed the last time be4 we begin, i already told God that that should be where it is heading. perhaps, is kinda too fast all a sudden ba.. (:

but one thing to be assured is i am happy & blessed.. (:
glad that u called to inform me today, was worried, so uttered a short prayer for u and the driver.. glad things are over, though costing another hole or bigger, but i guess is fine afterall yeah.. (: a nice ending...

caught Transporter 3 today.. and we met avril..
is a nice show and i enjoyed it...(:

okie... i should sleep...
gonna pray and sleep..

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

*yay* finally accounts is closed!
2 nights... am beaten by it le..

today work went alittle lighter in the day.. so was chatting all day long... (:
hmmm was encouraged to consider moving into serving God full time in church..
not that i mind, but guess is some restrictions that i dunno how to settle...
alright, will pray and seek Him. i always prefer a direct answer, wonder will He answer me the same way this time... (:

walked up back home today... kinda having a funny feeling....
well, realised been a while since i walked up myself... (:
-you are missed- (:
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wanted to tell you that but decided not to.
sense that something is wrong le..
but i really didnt stayed longer merely cos of filing..
felt so sad, dun think u got me...
and is not doesnt matter to me know...?
am tired... just got back from work... but am touched! (:
am touched by the things that you have done...
they are not little to me, and it does matter...
didnt want to learn to over rely too much on you or to take you for granted (all this shouldnt be),
however, glad this hectic and long day didnt just end with a taxi driver at my door step.. but you..

sy told me to keep the text, haha... when i saw it(not the full sms), i do thought it was some pass-it-on sms... until i viewed the whole mgs.. so cute! and innovative... haha.. and for a while my heart was lightened and brightenedd... cant stop laughing at it, but it is indeed u who will send it.. (: i thank God for you to bring some warmth to this hectic day.. (:

i do agree that everyday should be liken to a honeymoon (:
thanks for having to meet my schedule and driving me ard and just being there or rather letting me know you are there! *hugs*

tml another day of work... i miss holidays... what i truely want now is time for me to enjoy nature!! haha that's how i relax i guess... (: when will closing end?!?! haha...

started on Joshua... okie yes i know am super behind.. haa.. but afterall is not the time that matters hor?? plus so many boooks hor?? (:

alright off to bed.... good nites to all... and to you! (:

Monday, December 29, 2008

Sing to the King

Sing to the King who is coming to reign
Glory to Jesus the Lamb that was slain
Life and salvation, His empire shall bring
Joy to the nations when Jesus is King

Chorus:
Come let us sing a song
A song declaring we belong to Jesus
He is all we need
Lift up a heart of praise
Sing now with voices raised to Jesus
Sing to the King

For his returning we watch and we pray
We will be ready the dawn of that day
We'll join in singing with all the redeemed
Satan is vaquished and Jesus is King!
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the song is ringing in my head...
and the book of esther too... (:

Sunday, December 28, 2008

these 5 days of long break seems to pass so fast!
things also changed very fast... the sudden concern and attention that i received...
the many ppl that i got to talk to... the time that we spent together....
haa... but am happy...

guess not really that stress afterall, since u are already cushioning them... (: thanks so much..
am glad ppl ard me are happy as well...
thanks for sharing so much with me at east coast park.. enjoyed the talk and the breeze..
and enjoyed having u ard too.. (:
i really do feel pampered...

haha.. as i recalled 25th, u seems to owe me something huh... (:
but it was funny to see u like this...
though am blur (to u), but will always remember and treasure the moments together..
-hugs-
and praying that God will be the center of this... (:

God had been great to my family..
heard my uncle who was one seeking medium all along, came to acknowledge Jesus as the Lord and Savior! AMEN! was so happy to hear that..
and God had been great to me at Kaleo camp too... experienced His love once again... now each time during worship, am glad that i can truely feel myself coming before Him with a heart of worship and offering myself to Him.. (:

Monday, December 15, 2008

this entry was supposed to be posted on 15th Dec... apparently it wasnt...
am feeling so tired these days.. guess is the late nights, or rather am sure, but yet i cant sleep too early.. haa.. what an irony..

felt blessed and touched these days..
the many things that took place, big or small warmth my heart... (:
firstly, thanks for waking so early with me to get the cake.. & making sure there is a cake on da 14th...
and guess secondly, are the little things frens ard me did.. which i appreciated much..
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Merry Christmas to all!
here's how i spent my Christmas... haa.. kinda special for this yr..
on e eve had a svr in church, and headed to catch a movie after all! sound like a usual thing to do..

after movie.. time to head back..
thanks for the watch.. (really love it lots...)
thanks for the effort put in.. kinda sweet of u..
really pray for God to be the center of this as well..
thanks once again for making this Christmas so special.. (:
lastly, thanks for all you have done..

nites....

Friday, December 12, 2008

came early today for work...
well ended up was trying to run through my songs for worship! (:
and i found this song, kinda like the lyrics (unsure of the song)


Unashamed Love
Written by Lamont Hiebert

You're calling me to lay aside
The worries of my day
To quiet down my busy mind
And find a hiding place
Worthy, you are worthy

I open up my heart
And let my spirit worship yours
I open up my mouth
And let a song of praise come forth
Worthy, you are worthy

Of a childlike faith, and of my honest praise
Of my unashamed love
Of a holy life, and of my sacrifice
Of my unashamed love
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came early to work today, but did a little reading and do up the worship..
haven touch 2 Tim yet...
now a little early for work to come in but at least so far for this month, work has been up to date.. (: not having things undone.. phew... also not exactly ahead.. but definitely better than previous months..

coming to year end soon... seems like i have just done my 2007 resolution yesterday.
so long, have work and known this grp of colleagues for 2 yrs! (: so fast..
remembered how each of them look like when I just came in as a temp staff and how out of place i felt being the youngest (am still is in the dept!)
felt blessed with these ppl ard, a fun & safe environment i will say.. (:

does it mean is time to do the resolution for this yr soon?
hmmm what happened this yr?

was sharing a load of mine with mslyejieying..
thanks for that, made me feel much peaceful and i do have faith.. in the Lord that is.. (:

Sunday, December 07, 2008

oh dear.... splurge on a few items today and i am broke! :(
usually this happened for a reason....

but had a niceee dinner... though a little ex, but is niceee - MARCHE!
been a while since i last ate that.. haha me and elisa just have cravings for that!
ohhh... is really niceeeee dinner....... and had a good time out with her
(am sure u will agree hor!) *YES!(elisa)*
walked round vivo... big, round, crowded, tired!
wanted to own that shoes! but well....
walked till we were tired... and i have yet to find my Christmas exchange present!
so hard!! *cant think* haii...

got back my itouch today!!! (:
really love it, with the many applications.. and i can go wifi.... haa... *grin*
am really dumb with this kinda stuff...
really law thanks for that... (:
and thanks a million for the broadband too... (:
(felt bad to take up ur time esp at night..) but soo cool....
so happy with my itouch...

now regret that i splurged.... *whine!!!*
*should control me the next time.... not support me i guess? (:

Thursday, December 04, 2008

i am furious! i do not know why there is this cannot-be-explained anger...
though i am not the involved party, but i seriously felt it.
maybe also cos it happened to me be4, thus it explain the anger.
maybe i have a higher expectation because u are older, mature (i thot), godly (i hope)
well... no doubt is not an issue to me, but i dunno why i am feeling it, maybe feeling for my dear fren...

thanks to sharon for the free movie tix to Bolt by GE..
a funny show... and Bolt the dog is soooo cute! reminded me of Snowy.. (: so white..

checked my results today... by God's grace.. i cleared... (:
am really thankful for it...
FINALLY, am off with my studies.. though the excitement wasn't as high as when i left e exam hall.. but am glad i cleared the one i thought i will flunk - Investment Planning... i simply dont have investment sense bah i guess...(:
i finally finish the show....
i dunch like the ending... kinda sad...
or rather it is me, i dunch like ending that are either up-to-the-audience-to-decide or those ending that in the end one of the main lead dies.. basically i love happy ending.. (:
needless to say, for this show, i will have my own ending! haa... (*grin*)
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dec seems like a hectic month... tight deadlines to meet.. (my calender is full of scribbles)
kinda foresee lots of OT coming up or weekends spending at office... stress...
and so many things coming up... i have so much to do but yet so little time..
i yearn for a time to do etwg again.. that's where i can find a time at peace..

am glad to be reading a psalm each day still... and still reading deu.....
i truely enjoy psalm lots.. poetry, and the expressions of the psalmist...
without reading it, guess my day will not be any better...

had lunch today with Ivy! haa.. only the 2 of us... went to gelare cos she wanted ice cream..
we shared alot, and i guess got to know her a little bit more...
sometimes, i dunch understand wat's going on in her mind, but i guess slowly i will understand but doesnt mean i will agree... at least there is one... (:

okie... so much for now... tired.... so a short post...