thanks for the concerns that many have shown... thank God for each one of you. (:
haha indeed is rare i am like this, in fact, it is the first time that i am so affected i guess...
but God is good all the time, and all the time God is good!

QT a few days ago as i shared was on putting my life with Christ being the focus so that my life will be in focus. indeed, this guards most of the things that i am doing. i am human afterall that will fail man and God. it is by the grace of God that i am wash clean once again. this really taught me to go back to basic, on my walk with the Lord. i thank God for allowing me to experience His grace and to know that He is journeying with me. another QT was on roots or shoots, i wanna be one deeply rooted in the word, to be the roots (:

the conviction that God place in my heart is greater than mere men. read 2 cor 1 just now, i think the passage is rather apt for my thoughts... i find more comfort in the fact that God will shower us with His comfort in time of troubles.

this morning as i was on the way to work, was listening to songs and trying to hear and meditate on the lyrics.. i really like this song and indeed God is God, sometimes we can only see a part of the picture that He is painting, we are mere man...

wo men shi ren, bu shi shen (:

anyway... the song of the day..

GOD IS GOD

And the pain falls like a curtain
On the things I once called certain
And I have to say the words I fear the most
I just don’t know

And the questions without answers
Come and paralyze the dancer
So I stand here on the stage afraid to move
Afraid to fall, oh, but fall I must
On this truth that my life has been formed from the dust

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part of the picture He’s painting
God is God and I am man
So I’ll never understand it all
For only God is God

And the sky begins to thunder
And I’m filled with awe and wonder
‘Til the only burning question that remains
Is who am I

Can I form a single mountain
Take the stars in hand and count them
Can I even take a breath without God giving it to me
He is first and last before all that has been
Beyond all that will pass

Oh, how great are the riches of His wisdom and knowledge
How unsearchable for to Him and through
Him and from Him are all things

So let us worship before the throne
Of the One who is worthy of worship alone

sorry to vent it on you over the same issues again. it is too much for me to bear. it really stumbles me and i do not know if i know Him.that feeling is so scary, my first time encountering it,crying it out doesn't bring me comfort.

now i do not know how to carry on. i leave it to Him in total control of it. prayed and i felt peace.
i just needed to blog it out. so it will remind me and to see the grace of God.

i want to run away from it (rather can i stop running), but i can imagine no matter how far or fast i run, ppl catch up and i will find myself in the same pit again. i nv felt this before. it is this time that i truely know i need Him.

i hope i am doing fine. and will be fine. at the end of it, i hope to hear Him say, "Well done, my faithful servant".

i dunch wanna talk abt this anymore....
dun ask me too....
guess i just want a good sleep later...

was reminded about 'running a good race' for Him. trials are there to mold us, so that we can be trained to be more Christ-like. my life, my race, is it good? a Christian life is really hard, but i really dunno what will happen to me if i hadn't know Him.and precisely because of this, hanging out with Christians already form a big part of my life than non-christians, it is also where i feel more comfortable.

a call that given me assurance, lest leaving me to think what exactly happened.
instead of me worrying, guess it encouraged me instead.

i realised i needed to rely on Him for this, things are not within my control and i do feel it as a failure. it brings me back to why did i even agree in the beginning (knowing well that i will not be able to handle). right, things dont seem good and i dont wish for the worst. realised it is always when things became worst that I will think of giving up, not that i will, but just a thought.. i need to listen more...

WWJD? (:


13 days more to Japan...
less cab since last week (:
shall cont to inprove cash flow... haa
(discount the itouch first)

To You

Here I stand
Forever in Your mighty Hand
Living with Your Promise
Written on my heart

I am Yours
Surrendered wholly to You
You set me in Your Family
Calling me Your own

Now I
I belong to You
All I need
Your Spirit Your Word Your Truth
Hear my cry
My deep desire to know You more
In Your name
I will lift my hands to the King
This anthem of praise I bring
Heaven knows
I long to love You with all I am
I belong to You

thoughts: what a priviledge to be called the child of God.

Today's QT...

was reading daily bread online and today it was entitled, 'Whose side is God on?'

upon seeing the title, i find it weird... whenever there's a qns asking God, i will usually reversed the direction of the qns to myself. hence, am i on God's side?

it is dangerous to assume we are right with God when in fact we might not be.
the steps to be right with God - obedience to Him, Submissive. (i hope i did)

was telling cousin yest, how sometimes i wonder why i dont see a major change, the only difference i see, is the purpose of living, leading a meaningful life. (: and i told cousin sometimes i will wonder qns that may stumble myself but am glad i build my foundation on solid rock, which will always bring me back. yeah i do know need to be careful as well.. my prayer will be that i will always stay on His side. (:

i love this quote:

Instead of jumping into a situation with the presumption that God is on our side, we need to be certain that we are on His. — Julie Ackerman Link

what a nice reminder today.... (:

is this the first time i am so affected?
actually i guess it happened be4, when i was upset with the seniors back in sch.

i think being simple is not simple afterall... things u think are simple but mere men are really too complicated to be simple thus it pose as a problem to simple minded ppl. what an irony! (:
or maybe is just myself..

i just thot of blogging down my thoughts, be it a reminder to myself or to others likewise...
there are ppl watching how i am leading my life - family, friends, even the younger ones, let alone God. i really need to examine my life each day. His standard is soo hard!

thanks for the night, u guys made it better for me. esp the ice cream!

had bs with the girls from 34th, it was enjoyable and we shared with one another.i pray that God continue to guide me and wen as we lead the group. i do feel the pressure each time the matter is being brought up, i wonder if my decision was right, not thinking le, not doubting =P

today was reminded abt equally yoke. it is a common thing tat ppl ard me are facing..
i sorta realised it is impt to pray against this, before problems arise. isnt it a simple thing to follow? (i often asked myself), but at that time, i do felt the temptation was real. do hope you will understand this too, and not going through it like me.

i feel no meaning in things i am doing nowadays... esp at work, still trying though...
praying that the passion will be back....

QT this few days been reminding me of being christ-like. seem like ever since i prepare for 1 cor 15 on resurrection, and how i live it out for my faith and belief. rather apt. i do hope as i live each day, may God be smiling, that i can glorify Him in all i do.

guess the leading of the girls in bs these days build up my prayer life, thank God for that. really hope it gets better... gonna pray for tml's session, do believe it will be a good time of discussion. though didnt help much, as compare to how much it was done with me, will be praying, that's all i can do.

The Lord's Prayer

she ish so cute... (:

Ms.Swan - ATM

am soo happy today!

the day started well.. guess a big part goes to my early night rest yest (: 11pm!
(dad & mom were shocked when i said goodnight)

mom made my fav breakfast for the longest time... though is only french toast, but i simply love it..

these 2 is enough for me to remain smiley.

i was asked if i am feeling stress with stuff ongoing, do i feel like God is distant, and do i feel tired of growing up...

if given a choice, of cos i will wish that time can turn back to when i was still a child, with only homework that bother me. as we grow, we mature and responsibility gets bigger.. thus i will always tell children dont rush in growing, before u wish u were still a child. (:

but i dont grow alone! at least friends ard me grow old tog with me! haha...
there are time we can share woes and time we can simply laugh tog... to me, that's what makes my growing process more meaningful..

feeling rather lousy today.. wanted to call someone to ratter and whine... and didnt understand what ODB is telling me...
i dunch like this feeling, been praying..thank God it didnt last for long, felt better after i left.

finally let out what i have been laying inside...
it was painful, but i felt relieved (:
thank God for you, cant find anyone else that i can relate... so no choice!

went for aud's farewell on sun, saw familiar faces. it warmth my heart to see them.
spent some time sharing, the feeling is different.

felt that this post a little emo... okie till there only...

ah wen gonna lead worship for 2 sats, and she seek me to help her.. well been a while since i touch the guitar, e last was when i gave lesson to the girls?!?! haha...
hope i still remember... anyway got myself help to standby, dun laugh at me, i do admit i dunch play well haha.. but is nice to team up with her, nv tried before. so far the best i worked with is elisa (our impromptu and rehearsals over phone), other than those in church of cos.

okie, am looking forward to that for now... oh and the retreat! a nice get away from work... though still a long long long way...

i had a thought of changing my line... to do something i always want to be - that is to be a teacher. but i am not certain...

it reminded me of my applications after 'A'level, which i was given chinese to teach *faints*
i always wanted to teach maths, but i guess cos of the flop i have done to my further mathematics in 'A' that blew it off! ha! guess much credits goes to mechanics for this.

sis said it might be the path for me.. teaching can be exciting. esther shared sec is difficult since students are getting more and more different & harder to manage, but i guess that's where the challenge is, aint it? (:

not sure if this is what i want or God want me to.. prior to this, i had thought my path will be set for the coming at least 5yrs, that is to get my cpa soon and continue in the accounting line or to go into audit. guess the chat with esther arouse my passion for teaching, which is one reason why i continue to tutor so as to practice my skills/knowledge since after 'o'.

guess this can be a passing thought of mine, i may end up doing the same mundane stuff.. haa.. shall see how it will lead me..

felt bad that i have left you out of my mind for a long while. oops...
(to the extend you thought i changed my mobile no...) oh no.. i really feel bad...
should have ask how you have been doing...
okie am really sorry abt it...

yeah as i was reading through the old blog, missed ya so much!! (:
nearly spent everyday tog - that's becos i am not schling..
really thank the Lord for you - for sharing a portion of my life and it shall cont to be k!
thanks for bringing so much into my life. (:
through the ups and downs, it is just a process of growing and understanding each other more.

looking back at my old blog brings back lots of memories...
realised i posted a lot of prayers and sermons/sharing that i have learnt.
as i read, it inspired me... managed to change the template so it is not corrupted like what raq told me before.. and i haven seen her for a while...

why has this new blog became a self centered one? i remembered i started blogging so as to spread the love and to allow others to know the Big Daddy (my Lao Pa) i have...

okie, why am i remincising all a sudden... haa... maybe cos i started reading abt me in the old blog. the faith didnt change i am sure! (:

missed the good old time....

didnt notice that i have been saying 'sorry' most of the time. i came across someone telling me that should cultivate the habit of saying 'sorry' and this had become so...

i haven been thank-ed by ppl for so long JUST as well....

and you have been thanking me! i haven done much really.. i thank God for you as well, for being able to read my mind rather well (which can be scary), for the things you have taught/shared with me (for unpaid suppers, for ur nonsense, for ur lame stuff, for the only thing u will remind me - my 'mission' etc) haha... (it takes muscles to give u a diao face btw) if u asked me few years back, guess i wont even imagine talking so much to you.

hanging ard with cousin these past days, i dunno if what i have shared is right but it is what i will do. guess is just my character, might not be what God wants to teach u.. i have reservations when i tell ppl what they should do, i do not wish to claim the credits when thing goes right, neither do i want to be blame for the wrong suggestions i guess (not that you will).. (:

anyway all much for the day.. bedtime... 207am...

-for elisa-
thanks so much for the wonderful birthday card. oh man! when i saw it i nearly teared la!
cant imagine you actually wrote those chinese words... no wonder you said i will be touched.
i guessed pretty much that you got someone to translate for you though. but so sweet of ya.

indeed, i thank the Lord for a friend like you. we have been through so much in the past 10yrs! (:
guess we wasnt even this close when we were in sec sch... all started after we moved on to JCs! how amazing it is, thanks for walking with me through the past yrs, listening to me, letting me whine and making me smile when i was down (: of cos, thanks for the long dist call when i needed someone. true enough, despite the dist, we were still as close. that's a blessing.

please come back soon, and i will promise suppers and movies with you.
(btw, i have not eat the ice-cream treat that you are giving me, got budget? lest i over spend and u refuse to let me claim) haha... anyway thanks for the thot, it warmed the heart, of cos i wont claim.

-for teo-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
thanks teo for being ard and always making me laugh (at u!), and thanks for the many late night calls we have (: haa!
(i am good at my 'phone ministry', and u are like the most freq member)

alright, work has been rather hectic the past days... finally closed my accounts...
and sch just started for me.... not a bad sem for there are only 2 modules.
so much for now... tired... (:

i am glad! there is this excitement within me.. haa!

Dedicated to Ms Kelly Ker!

yeah!! Kelly is getting married! (:
(shall announce it for her!)

so sweet of yk to plan it so well for her..
first he tricked her into knocking off on time, then bringing her to sentosa..
as it is still early, they decided to take a stroll at the beach (:
and yk bought her favourite anges b bag (sweet)
*most impt* there is a card in the bag which he drew (a boy and a girl)
and TADA!!! he proposed on 16th June 2008!

then it ends off with a nice meal...... (: Barnacles Restaurant

after which, they proceed to music fountain (so romantic!!!)
but...they met a smoker who caused air pollution.. oops.... (okie this is a spoiler)
then... it all end off with them going back to yk's hse @ simei...
(congrats yk and kk!)

-end of story-

i have volunteered nicely to be the wedding planner... together with the whole finance and HR team as well!
she should be touched!

prayed. never felt like this before.
felt better after praying..

i wonder if this is the one for me...
i think i cannot live up to the expectation, and eventually i will see more disappointed faces.
i cannot find the motivation..

and sch is starting next week... oh man, i wanna whine again...

guess i need a good break... need a nice ice cream!! (today is tue - well i always missed it)

ah wen came to meet me for lunch on fri!
so nice of her to travel down and had a good time catching up with her...
though knew abt certain news from her, but i believe it is all well in God's hand yeah... trust Him!

then had supper with cousin, law, mag and weilun..
went to a new HK cafe @ east coast... i think i will prefer siglap's... (:

it was a nice chat together, but poor lawrence is sick again... aiyo....
pls take good care of yourself and get well soon!!
praying for ya..

had a niceee cake from awefully chocolate today from drill comm.. so sweet (both the ppl and the cake), really love it. the very thought that they were ready to sing me a birthday song when i was @ church camp warmth my heart! only to find that i off my phone to preserve the battery. so sweet of u all... (:

*finally i saw su-lynn's video!!! oh man.... tat was hilarious....

wooo! just came back from church camp feeling refreshed!

guess no regrets for attending this camp, some take away for me...
i have nv knew how hurtful it can be to see ppl falling away from God when we have been journeying together, now i know. this reminded me of the 5 most beloved ppl that i have written on the card some time back, i thank the Lord for in it i wrote the names of 2 close frens of mine and 1 came back in the arms of God. (: i wouldnt wish to see frens ard me leaving the warm embrace of His, all i can do is to pray for them.

i also asked myself will i still be walking side by side with Him 10/20 years down the road?
no one can predicts... will i persevere? i really dunch know.. but one thing i know now is that He is still the Lordship of my life, of my heart. it also let me see church in a different light.. not negative but just a different perspective.

actually felt really bad during the camp.. felt so unprepared but yeah.. God has really been faithful...

had a wonderful birthday spent in camp (: thanks all for the cake and surprises... bet the whole level knew it was my birthday (: the cake was nice.. and the surprise really came as a surprise..
haha.. special abt this year's birthday lies in the cake! had 3 cakes this yr with 3 different candles on it. one had 25 (@ work), one had 24 (with JC classmates), yeah and had 20 for church camp, so average is 23.. whoa.. diaoz... but this 'mistakes' made this year's birthday special for me. will remember it! haha...

camp was really relaxing and a good thing to take me away from work for a while.. this awhile made me dun feel like going back to work anymore... sianz.. haha... (: but well life goes on but with a different energy to fight the battle (:

today boss not ard.. haa! hence morning was kinda lighthearted... and i was late for work for 7 mins without me realising..

anyway yesterday had a celebration for my bdae @ work, it started all wrongly from the beginning with 25 candles!!!! haa... received a nice bag and a really lovely card! i do love cards!! guess cos it is something personal and i enjoy reading every word written in it, aint them meaningful (i kept all my letters and cards btw)? so, i love cards! (elisa, are u sending me one from aus? must be made in aus!)

taken some pictures @ the balcony! oooo... the scenery is soo beautiful, but of cos it cannot beat the night view.. the night view is def nicer! the office was filled with so much laughters viewing the picutres, shall select only the nicest ones... thanks so much for that! I wont remember having 25 candles on my cake okie… haaa!


a pleasant surprise set up (:

did you spot the candles?!?

the finance team...

a really nice card & present received..

nice scenery!

alright, this looks like a scolding session..

Sheena: you know..... you all shouldnt..... this shouldnt be the way..

Jami: oh! orh.. i am so sorry

SY: huh.. orh... erm..

alright, lazy to blog more pictures cos i have to wait for a long time..... (:

anyway i thank God for a wonderful working environment i am in and i do certainly hope i can be a salt and light to Him here. (:

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updates on past weeks...

attended anna's wake on the last night. there were sharing of her lives. it came upon me that little things that we do can touch ppl's heart. i wonder if i have done enough little things as a form of outreach to christians and non christians alike.

also shared with cousin how i told my sis i wanted my funeral to be like. (: and maybe can paste those cards i received haa... i will like the walls to be filled with messages from friends!! (:

and my phone finally died on me... it is a mute phone now! i cant hear anything, is time to get a new one.. so no calls at the moment but i can sms.. (:

alright... back to work.... though boss is not ard.....