am soo happy today!

the day started well.. guess a big part goes to my early night rest yest (: 11pm!
(dad & mom were shocked when i said goodnight)

mom made my fav breakfast for the longest time... though is only french toast, but i simply love it..

these 2 is enough for me to remain smiley.

i was asked if i am feeling stress with stuff ongoing, do i feel like God is distant, and do i feel tired of growing up...

if given a choice, of cos i will wish that time can turn back to when i was still a child, with only homework that bother me. as we grow, we mature and responsibility gets bigger.. thus i will always tell children dont rush in growing, before u wish u were still a child. (:

but i dont grow alone! at least friends ard me grow old tog with me! haha...
there are time we can share woes and time we can simply laugh tog... to me, that's what makes my growing process more meaningful..

feeling rather lousy today.. wanted to call someone to ratter and whine... and didnt understand what ODB is telling me...
i dunch like this feeling, been praying..thank God it didnt last for long, felt better after i left.

finally let out what i have been laying inside...
it was painful, but i felt relieved (:
thank God for you, cant find anyone else that i can relate... so no choice!

went for aud's farewell on sun, saw familiar faces. it warmth my heart to see them.
spent some time sharing, the feeling is different.

felt that this post a little emo... okie till there only...

ah wen gonna lead worship for 2 sats, and she seek me to help her.. well been a while since i touch the guitar, e last was when i gave lesson to the girls?!?! haha...
hope i still remember... anyway got myself help to standby, dun laugh at me, i do admit i dunch play well haha.. but is nice to team up with her, nv tried before. so far the best i worked with is elisa (our impromptu and rehearsals over phone), other than those in church of cos.

okie, am looking forward to that for now... oh and the retreat! a nice get away from work... though still a long long long way...

i had a thought of changing my line... to do something i always want to be - that is to be a teacher. but i am not certain...

it reminded me of my applications after 'A'level, which i was given chinese to teach *faints*
i always wanted to teach maths, but i guess cos of the flop i have done to my further mathematics in 'A' that blew it off! ha! guess much credits goes to mechanics for this.

sis said it might be the path for me.. teaching can be exciting. esther shared sec is difficult since students are getting more and more different & harder to manage, but i guess that's where the challenge is, aint it? (:

not sure if this is what i want or God want me to.. prior to this, i had thought my path will be set for the coming at least 5yrs, that is to get my cpa soon and continue in the accounting line or to go into audit. guess the chat with esther arouse my passion for teaching, which is one reason why i continue to tutor so as to practice my skills/knowledge since after 'o'.

guess this can be a passing thought of mine, i may end up doing the same mundane stuff.. haa.. shall see how it will lead me..

felt bad that i have left you out of my mind for a long while. oops...
(to the extend you thought i changed my mobile no...) oh no.. i really feel bad...
should have ask how you have been doing...
okie am really sorry abt it...

yeah as i was reading through the old blog, missed ya so much!! (:
nearly spent everyday tog - that's becos i am not schling..
really thank the Lord for you - for sharing a portion of my life and it shall cont to be k!
thanks for bringing so much into my life. (:
through the ups and downs, it is just a process of growing and understanding each other more.

looking back at my old blog brings back lots of memories...
realised i posted a lot of prayers and sermons/sharing that i have learnt.
as i read, it inspired me... managed to change the template so it is not corrupted like what raq told me before.. and i haven seen her for a while...

why has this new blog became a self centered one? i remembered i started blogging so as to spread the love and to allow others to know the Big Daddy (my Lao Pa) i have...

okie, why am i remincising all a sudden... haa... maybe cos i started reading abt me in the old blog. the faith didnt change i am sure! (:

missed the good old time....

didnt notice that i have been saying 'sorry' most of the time. i came across someone telling me that should cultivate the habit of saying 'sorry' and this had become so...

i haven been thank-ed by ppl for so long JUST as well....

and you have been thanking me! i haven done much really.. i thank God for you as well, for being able to read my mind rather well (which can be scary), for the things you have taught/shared with me (for unpaid suppers, for ur nonsense, for ur lame stuff, for the only thing u will remind me - my 'mission' etc) haha... (it takes muscles to give u a diao face btw) if u asked me few years back, guess i wont even imagine talking so much to you.

hanging ard with cousin these past days, i dunno if what i have shared is right but it is what i will do. guess is just my character, might not be what God wants to teach u.. i have reservations when i tell ppl what they should do, i do not wish to claim the credits when thing goes right, neither do i want to be blame for the wrong suggestions i guess (not that you will).. (:

anyway all much for the day.. bedtime... 207am...

-for elisa-
thanks so much for the wonderful birthday card. oh man! when i saw it i nearly teared la!
cant imagine you actually wrote those chinese words... no wonder you said i will be touched.
i guessed pretty much that you got someone to translate for you though. but so sweet of ya.

indeed, i thank the Lord for a friend like you. we have been through so much in the past 10yrs! (:
guess we wasnt even this close when we were in sec sch... all started after we moved on to JCs! how amazing it is, thanks for walking with me through the past yrs, listening to me, letting me whine and making me smile when i was down (: of cos, thanks for the long dist call when i needed someone. true enough, despite the dist, we were still as close. that's a blessing.

please come back soon, and i will promise suppers and movies with you.
(btw, i have not eat the ice-cream treat that you are giving me, got budget? lest i over spend and u refuse to let me claim) haha... anyway thanks for the thot, it warmed the heart, of cos i wont claim.

-for teo-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
thanks teo for being ard and always making me laugh (at u!), and thanks for the many late night calls we have (: haa!
(i am good at my 'phone ministry', and u are like the most freq member)

alright, work has been rather hectic the past days... finally closed my accounts...
and sch just started for me.... not a bad sem for there are only 2 modules.
so much for now... tired... (:

i am glad! there is this excitement within me.. haa!

Dedicated to Ms Kelly Ker!

yeah!! Kelly is getting married! (:
(shall announce it for her!)

so sweet of yk to plan it so well for her..
first he tricked her into knocking off on time, then bringing her to sentosa..
as it is still early, they decided to take a stroll at the beach (:
and yk bought her favourite anges b bag (sweet)
*most impt* there is a card in the bag which he drew (a boy and a girl)
and TADA!!! he proposed on 16th June 2008!

then it ends off with a nice meal...... (: Barnacles Restaurant

after which, they proceed to music fountain (so romantic!!!)
but...they met a smoker who caused air pollution.. oops.... (okie this is a spoiler)
then... it all end off with them going back to yk's hse @ simei...
(congrats yk and kk!)

-end of story-

i have volunteered nicely to be the wedding planner... together with the whole finance and HR team as well!
she should be touched!

prayed. never felt like this before.
felt better after praying..

i wonder if this is the one for me...
i think i cannot live up to the expectation, and eventually i will see more disappointed faces.
i cannot find the motivation..

and sch is starting next week... oh man, i wanna whine again...

guess i need a good break... need a nice ice cream!! (today is tue - well i always missed it)

ah wen came to meet me for lunch on fri!
so nice of her to travel down and had a good time catching up with her...
though knew abt certain news from her, but i believe it is all well in God's hand yeah... trust Him!

then had supper with cousin, law, mag and weilun..
went to a new HK cafe @ east coast... i think i will prefer siglap's... (:

it was a nice chat together, but poor lawrence is sick again... aiyo....
pls take good care of yourself and get well soon!!
praying for ya..

had a niceee cake from awefully chocolate today from drill comm.. so sweet (both the ppl and the cake), really love it. the very thought that they were ready to sing me a birthday song when i was @ church camp warmth my heart! only to find that i off my phone to preserve the battery. so sweet of u all... (:

*finally i saw su-lynn's video!!! oh man.... tat was hilarious....

wooo! just came back from church camp feeling refreshed!

guess no regrets for attending this camp, some take away for me...
i have nv knew how hurtful it can be to see ppl falling away from God when we have been journeying together, now i know. this reminded me of the 5 most beloved ppl that i have written on the card some time back, i thank the Lord for in it i wrote the names of 2 close frens of mine and 1 came back in the arms of God. (: i wouldnt wish to see frens ard me leaving the warm embrace of His, all i can do is to pray for them.

i also asked myself will i still be walking side by side with Him 10/20 years down the road?
no one can predicts... will i persevere? i really dunch know.. but one thing i know now is that He is still the Lordship of my life, of my heart. it also let me see church in a different light.. not negative but just a different perspective.

actually felt really bad during the camp.. felt so unprepared but yeah.. God has really been faithful...

had a wonderful birthday spent in camp (: thanks all for the cake and surprises... bet the whole level knew it was my birthday (: the cake was nice.. and the surprise really came as a surprise..
haha.. special abt this year's birthday lies in the cake! had 3 cakes this yr with 3 different candles on it. one had 25 (@ work), one had 24 (with JC classmates), yeah and had 20 for church camp, so average is 23.. whoa.. diaoz... but this 'mistakes' made this year's birthday special for me. will remember it! haha...

camp was really relaxing and a good thing to take me away from work for a while.. this awhile made me dun feel like going back to work anymore... sianz.. haha... (: but well life goes on but with a different energy to fight the battle (:

today boss not ard.. haa! hence morning was kinda lighthearted... and i was late for work for 7 mins without me realising..

anyway yesterday had a celebration for my bdae @ work, it started all wrongly from the beginning with 25 candles!!!! haa... received a nice bag and a really lovely card! i do love cards!! guess cos it is something personal and i enjoy reading every word written in it, aint them meaningful (i kept all my letters and cards btw)? so, i love cards! (elisa, are u sending me one from aus? must be made in aus!)

taken some pictures @ the balcony! oooo... the scenery is soo beautiful, but of cos it cannot beat the night view.. the night view is def nicer! the office was filled with so much laughters viewing the picutres, shall select only the nicest ones... thanks so much for that! I wont remember having 25 candles on my cake okie… haaa!


a pleasant surprise set up (:

did you spot the candles?!?

the finance team...

a really nice card & present received..

nice scenery!

alright, this looks like a scolding session..

Sheena: you know..... you all shouldnt..... this shouldnt be the way..

Jami: oh! orh.. i am so sorry

SY: huh.. orh... erm..

alright, lazy to blog more pictures cos i have to wait for a long time..... (:

anyway i thank God for a wonderful working environment i am in and i do certainly hope i can be a salt and light to Him here. (:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

updates on past weeks...

attended anna's wake on the last night. there were sharing of her lives. it came upon me that little things that we do can touch ppl's heart. i wonder if i have done enough little things as a form of outreach to christians and non christians alike.

also shared with cousin how i told my sis i wanted my funeral to be like. (: and maybe can paste those cards i received haa... i will like the walls to be filled with messages from friends!! (:

and my phone finally died on me... it is a mute phone now! i cant hear anything, is time to get a new one.. so no calls at the moment but i can sms.. (:

alright... back to work.... though boss is not ard.....

Sacrifice-Bob Fitts- With lyrics.

what great love that God had showered upon us.

received this from Isabelle this morning.. so sweet aint it?

haven seen her for a while since i left, what's more she only joined GB this year, anyway a nice girl (:

i dont have motivation towards my work... how? been taking my own sweet time in doing stuff i realised...........

i think because of my OT-ing... and i realised i haven seen my dad for 2 days! oops..

Exodus been telling me abt being used as a vessel of God - like how God used Moses & Aaron (Vessel of Fragrance, haha sound familiar, how about sitting down camp?), to make things happen through me. i thought before surely i can be one? though i have been praying for God to use me to fulfill His purpose. (:

i dunno what to update le......... boring.......

saw this pic on my comp, reminded me of the convenant that God made during Noah's time (Gen 9:12-17). it reminded me, too, of what law shared when rainbow appears, it could mean God needed that as a reminder, can you imagine how upset He could be with us?!?

anyway then saw this:

21 The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: "Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though [a] every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done.

22 "As long as the earth endures,

seedtime and harvest,

cold and heat,

summer and winter,

day and night,

will never cease."

as long as the earth endures... will never cease-will it somehow link to the work of men, civilization? i have heard disasters came due to human work, global warming... i wonder...am i thinking too far cos of recent disasters?

i like this song... maybe it caught my attention because the way the singer sang it (haa)... haven really understood the meaning of the song though, but catchy tune i thought (:

不知道为了什么忧愁它围绕著我
我每天都在祈祷快赶走爱的寂寞

你要我听这一首歌用这首歌离开我
她唱的太美了歌词却很伤人
你为什么不直接提分手

爱人的话不需要重轻轻的说我就懂
接你的车来了表示爱到站了
我站在十字路口对抗心痛一个人

你的黑发现在睡进谁的胸口
你的唇现在跟谁要温柔
一开始你爱我最后你放弃我
还要用千言万语说得委屈你有多难过

爱牢牢抓紧我恨深深包围我
你要我为你好快赶走爱的寂寞

爱人的话不需要重轻轻的说我就懂
接你的车来了表示爱到站了
我站在十字路口对抗心痛一个人

你的黑发现在睡进谁的胸口
你的唇现在跟谁要温柔
一开始你爱我最后你放弃我
还要用千言万语说得委屈你有多难过

爱牢牢抓紧我恨深深包围我
你要我为你好快赶走爱的寂寞

爱牢牢抓紧我恨深深包围我
你要我为你好快赶走爱的寂寞

Pray 24-7...

indeed, i prayed like i never pray before.. this was my prayer each time before the prayer session. i prayed for a revival within me each time. all i can say is, thank God for journeying with me all my walk with Him, my every paths i chose, even when i made the wrong move, God will gently direct my path. who am i to deserve His attention, to deserve to be the chosen one, called His child?

indeed, this is a privilege. this is not a chance, it is a plan, a perfect plan of God.

when i was younger, i used to imagine that God owns a lot of book shelves that are used to display our 'portfolio' (though i am not sure if God is high tech to track using a computer instead), each book is named, by our name. i wanted God to be please when He is reading mine, i wanted Him to be proud that i have run a good race, fight a good fight for Him, and He is smiling when He look into my life.

many a times, i think i have made Him sad, what i feared most is when i do not even know that i have sinned and it is seemingly right to me. that's then scary.

recently, the world's attention falls on China and Myanmar, the 7.9 quarke and cyclone nargis caused many lives lost, and adding to the totality of broken families overnight. this is so sad, my heart goes out to them. i wondered how many believers are in the midst of those who lost their lives. many said this is a wake up call to the unbelievers and believers alike, i think it is also a time that i wonder what can i do. How God can use me? there are many who have yet to believe in Him, there are also many who have yet hear abt Him.

i hope i can do something... so sad to watch the documentary.

over the last week, church embarked on a 24-7 prayer week, went to church to pray on wed and fri nights. had an extended prayer session on sat night 2-6am, so worn out on sunday. but i really do felt that i really prayed like never before. since 2 am, we have been worshipping Him, lasted all the way till after abf. indeed personal revival (:

I AM SO DISTRACTED TODAY! haha... that's not very good...
distracted by what i do not know...

life is getting a little boring i think..although this week i am suppose to be pack with activities, but somehow i still think it is boring, why? sometimes i just dont wish to do anything but to watch ppl getting ard with their busy schedule while i enjoy a nice drink in a nice cafe.... (:
cousin is not meeting me for dinner, well that's because i will be seeing her coming fri to sun (her reason, haa).

cousin & lawrence, thanks for your concern last night! (: yeah i know ppl ard me cares (haa, my fav sentence)

a little abt things @ work since i am so free now...
i was advised to cut off ties with the previous colleagues i worked with, esp since a new person has taken over. i do understand her agony when ppl bypass her and speak to me, even for simple matters. i don't how. not me to simply say, please do not call me anymore for i am no longer handling your acc. ok, i think she is really disappointed and fuming yesterday. i will try not to interfere between them.

my colleague advised me on my weak point, being too trusting. she said i trust ppl easily, though i hardly know them. hmmm... is written on my face again? diao.... just been nice and giving others the benefit of doubt, is tiring to be defensive and observing ppl leh. anyway unless the first impression i have of you is bad, then guess that's too bad. haa!

aside to my walk with God...
alright embarked on Gen, still is. a little slack with bs, guess gonna do it tonight.. (:
pray for the disasters in Myanmmar and CHina. glad that sze & sam are fine.

okie my random thoughts above... am bored la...

i am tired... really... by all the qns and i dunno how to answer them anymore. i may chose to frustrate it instead. sorry if i vented it on you, i really think i did.

i was approached like last year regarding this and since then, many who knows me came to ask if i am going to take over. i think am tired of being in the lime light at times, esp when ppl ask "what's going to happen after she step down?? oh JAMI taking over is it? good good!"
when i qns "why me??" - "because only you and you are the best option" (i qns if this is from God?) somehow i don't really like the reply, it seems like a best way out, without considering my feelings and my thoughts.

many tried to talk me out into this, honestly i didnt want to pick it up because i will surely come to the same situation as of now some years later. and i do know myself, i do have my insecurities - i feel that i am not strong enough (emotionally though i may not show it). yes, friends said they will be there (and i am a team player, i do need support - physically there). i appreciated that. i do appreciate too when ppl have that faith and trust in me that i can do a good job or i can be a good leader. i do appreciate when ppl i hardly work with finds me a great person to work with. i give this glory to God for making who i am. but, is this the reason for ministry?

ministry to me is a commitment - at least 2 yrs. have i become a need to the company? outsiders see it as this. and i do appreciate ur 8 reasons to me, really... i am touched by ur sharing, love ya k, i nearly teared, yes! am really sorry, but thanks alot for the trust in me.

says:
hear me out
JAMI. says:
ok..
I cut off my pony tail says:
1. to me it must be in a hand of a resposible person.
2. The one must know it very well, cos it's a company which had been running for more that 10yrs
3. The one must know the current problem in it, so that changes can be make when she take over.
3b. This is the most important because i have been in it long enough to know that there are lots of changes to make it better.
4. The one must have a heart for it, not just take up because she wants to serve GOD, but out of LOVE for this company and wants to serve GOD through it. Not through it to serve GOD.
5. The one of the it must have very gd coummiuncation with sch, becos we all know that all the teachers that comes in dont last.
5b. to make teachers that comes in have a feeling like home and be devoted to our work, the one must be extrem humble to hear others point of view of
5c. this has been a major promble in my point of view, and i think this will cos great change inthe gals involvement too. See EC case, when she influnces us so much, guided us so much
6. The one must have gd relationship and commuication with church too. it now is lack of someone who can commuincate with church and the current one is not having a too gd relationship with current church now.
6b. Even though one is not from the church, she should still keep in close contact with church. I would not say that the current one is not doing that, cos i dont know. But i know that this will be a great challange for the future one.
6c. Even that a challange if the one is humble, GOD house will not stir up in it becos GOD is incharge and he will not allow this to happen.
6d. From what i know, church have no woman or full time staff who is capable of taking up this responsibilty.
7. The one of it must be able to see and plan a future this company, someone who can see what level should this company be brought to.
8. The one must be a gd accountant, to take care of the company spending and funds.

says:
from all the 8 pointes above ~ these are what i think a one of it should be
says:
some how ~ you have meet them
says:
i listed them for you not that i want you to take up
says:
but from a person who loves it and i know for sure i am not the one who will take over deep from the bottom of my heart
says:
that for sure
says:
so to me the one of it must be like this wheather izzit you or someone eles, for we know the situation better than anyone
says:
So i guess this is also y i ask you to take up the post, not because there is only you, but rather is only you who can do it.
says:
\Not everyone can do it, of cos there will be someone better than you who can do the job
says:
but to me you look like you are plan to do it, i see a growth in it in future when i think of it in the hands of yours
says:
becos you have the passion for these gals and you the most humble person i met whom i believe can stand btw the gap of sch and it
says:
it will also growth in yr hands becos you know what is best for her and you know what she is lack of and what she needs.
says:
like a mother
says:
i truly believe in this
says:
let GOD's will be done and not mine


*the above is an unedited version of the convo, i hesitated if i should post this or post and change blog! but well, to me nothing to hide, perhaps is just someone's point of view. i dont doubt my own leadership, some do know i dont have the confidence as well. yes, the solution is pray and ask God for strength, i do know not that i did not do it, but to me this is not the priority yet. i am glad with what i am doing right now, i think i need a break from there. this reminded me ru sent me an article and spent time with me to understand what a leader should be. honestly, i really do think i cant cos i am not a far sighted person, i just shared recently that even my own life plan is till before i turn 25... i dont even know if i can see that far in other areas.

ok, i think i seem vexed, a little by all the questions being asked when ppl sees me. i dunch know, let the last sentence, let God's plan be done. so can stop asking me? ask God?? (:

it has been a long time! (:

okie what should i say.....

work is hectic because it is month end.

school is over because i just finished my exam. yay!

went to watch Iron Man today with the usual ones. the movie was so so so nice....
despite being tired after knocking off at 10pm, i enjoyed the whole show.
(really sorry to make u guys wait for so long, sorry!)

2 more weeks to my only paper....
and i am way behind.. think i nv learnt my lesson, even though this time round i started the earliest among all my exams in SIM.

guess i have to make plans for overnight studies... (:
whole of next week gonna be on half day leave each day, really needed the discipline to start revising... hmmm thinking of place to park myself...
HK cafe is too far from work....

been trying to catch up on sleep, haha, but my efforts were to no avail..
last night was tired, but chatted with avril all the way till abt 4am!
it was a good time chatting with her... was so amazed by her! haha
thanks for accompanying me to enrolment too..

hmmm enrolment.....