hmm... having a weird feeling..
suddenly in a not-sure-what-to-do state..
am free this weekend.. kept fri free to acc teo if she needs, but she also aint sure if she will be free..
just worried she may need someone to be with her..

as for sat.. 4-6pm prayer time! follow which house warming at leaf's? well, unless going with jy, else will be kinda weird.. so morning gonna meet up with van.. and after that?

sun, as usual, church.. and then?

hmmm realised in the past was packed with activities, wont be filled with so much uncertainty.. i think i am more reliance, which isnt good sometime...

jy asked me a qns that made me ponder so who are the ones closest to me?
haa.. it begins by her qns on who are the close friends that she made in church.. which reminded me of what cousin yt told me on sun..

sometimes i wonder is it i am not thinking hard enough or she is simply thinking too much?
i answered her the friends i made in church may not be the closest but can be built..

the chat with her yesterday made me realised how different perspectives we both have. how she see hopeless-ness and i see faithfulness.. (:

yay! i finally found the song that i have been hearing!

At the Cross (hillsong)

Oh Lord You’ve searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There’s no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now

You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done

And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
I know You love me
_____________________________
the chorus touches me the most.
i remembered i used to kneel and pray, facing my window...

i have received some photos from the rest on Kelly's wedding... (: shall post some of it here...
guess is more of our own photos than of the bride & groom... oops.. :P


arent them beautiful? (: am happy for her..

one of her evening gown...

the receptionists...

the receptionists...

haha.. one of the 'receptionist' (:

us! (:

us again...


the emceessss... (: my mandarin parner sy..


and the grand finale... (:

all work done and the couple is having a good time now in USA! (:
______________________________________________________

alright, after all the posting..
recently had a lot of thoughts after meeting ppl.. guess i have reached a limit..
and a resolution! happy!! (:

next... my job... :(
one down.. 2 more options to go.. Lord, lead me, will You?

read Utmost, the habit of enjoying adversity..
guess is a timely reminder?
going through the tough times with Him will enable me to experience Him deeper.. (:

recently came across a nice song.. shall post e lyrics when i found it..

yest marked a new journey for Yongky & Kelly.. such a sweet couple.. (:

reached Hilton as early as 2pm (supposedly 230pm), so head off to have a quick lunch with the bf.
haha, the bf had to accompany me ard Hilton, waiting alone for my hair do which took abt 30 mins, and accompany me again till abt 430 pm since i am the only one being so early... *thanks muchie!*

had my rehearsal @ e ballroom.. cool! 24th floor... i think it is my first time being in a high ballroom...
it is a small & cosy ballroom with about 23 tables, behind it is a swimming pool, where the couple held their solemnization..

tried out as my first time being an emcee..
it went well, however, i missed a line! oops.. not that obvious though since it is just a linking line.
thankfully, sy (mandarin emcee) noticed it, and skipped her portion too.. :P

such a busy day yesterday and am so drained today @ work.. dozing.. Zzzz
only managed to start off with a chapter of 2 King.. :P
*trying k*

Yongky did a song dedication to Kelly! (:
so sweet... the song must have depict the love that Yongky has for Kelly and his desire to grow old together with her..

so here i am, using my blog, to record this sweet moment...
(i recalled i also blogged on how Yongky did his proposal! (: )
wishing them the fullest blessing from the bottom of my heart. (:

"Grow Old With You"

[Billy Idol (Speaking):] Good afternoon everyone.
We're flying at 26,000 feet, moving
up to thirty thousand feet, and then we've got clear skies
all the way to Las Vegas, and right now we're bringing you some in-flight
entertainment. One of our first-class passengers would like to sing you a song
inspired by one of our coach passengers, and since we let our first-class
passengers do pretty much whatever they want, here he is.

[Robbie Hart (Singing):]
I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I'll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

Need you
Feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you
_____________________________________________
imagine you & him (her), growing old together and still holding hands along the street. (:

so much to give thanks for!

thanks for finally being able to meet me..
i waited for so long, so when u asked for a meal, i would surely go! (:
it went well, i supposed. at least having an understanding to the questions i have in mind.
i thank the Lord for the friendship shared still, the many jokes made and the many whinning we had. so fun!
things changed. maybe like what you said, we have grown up.
will take heed and try it out, hopefully we can all adjust together. (:
nevertheless, thanks!

lawrence came to pick me.
it gave lots of comfort. thanks for listening to me too. not easy for me now i guess, with this transitions.. shall take some time to adjust. thanks for being so patience too.. (:

Mei Yen read my blog regularly! (:
haa.. hi!!
lazy to blog for awhile.. well, at least u showed me there's another one who still visit this dead blog.. (: have a nice week yeah...

know. i hope i am not being complacent..

this morning devotion reminded me to keep my focus on God - in everything that i do.
i wonder the dissatisfaction i have at work is it due to my lack of focus on Him.
i often doubted, but i thought i have been involving Him in my work..

anyway..

alot of things will fall in places when we have We in the center. a God-centered life is freedom that God had given to us. but it seems like many have forgotten abt Him, or did not even want to acknowledge Him. sometimes i wonder why is it so hard?

i often ask, if there is a rebirth, where do the incense/burnt offering goes to?
they cannot answer me... living in denial again..
isnt it nice to attend church as a family tog? -dreams-

my prayer of salvation.....

am thankful that you enjoyed yourself yesterday. (:
rather interesting day i thought....

phew....

came back from a malacca trip with my family.. was reluctant to go in the first place, since miao had invited me to her NP annual parade and i promised that i will be there to support her. well, mom insisted so there i went... Lawrence came along too, ha guess if he hadn't i will be sulking within me for missing the parade. sorry cousin miao.. hope u had fun yea? update me more when i see u...

Thank God for him, he was there to carry ahma's stuff, to take nice pictures of us, and the best part, to me, he could spend time with my family and a getaway for him to relax.

this is my first trip to malacca.. haa.. visited some places such as Jonker Street, St Paul's Church, Chirst Church Melaka, The Little Nonya (e show) filming ground, bees museum etc.. realised Melacca is a small little square town.. but the weather was a killer... after some walking and climbling, i perspired all over... bleah... overall, a rather fun trip..(:

butt:see photos in facebook or his blog...? lazy to post here.... missed u... (:

am sick... down with mc again.. in 2 weeks, taken mc twice.. wonderful!
thanks for the love showered, it comforted my heart. (:

was down with a bad sore throat yest, but went ahead to meet su-lynn and after abt 2 hrs of sharing, my voice gave in..

we had a good chat i should say. it began with Lawrence.
After hearing her experience, it became clearer to me that i am not the only one undergoing the same process, which was pretty encouraging. She gave advice too, from her opinion. shared with her the plan we have, how we have been etc...

haha, realised she is the only person so far who see what i faced/will faced, guess because she knew Lawrence very well. thank God for the encouragement she shared, felt was an assurance that God gave me too. the blessing and sharing she gave to us, is so different, at least a different thing i am hearing from ppl who are concern abt us. (: had fun chatting with her.

shared with her about the desire in my heart that God prompted. as she shared, i could feel some similarity with her. how we both want to reach out to the girls/youth and how we want to be with them 24/7 if we can. shared how in the past, back at 34th, i could spend each day being with the girls, be it tutoring, praying or just hanging out with them, building a relationship with them. we both see time as an important factor when it come to building these relationship. of cos, now thing changes, i will need to know which is the ministry that i will want to be involved actively in, and to give time to the other half too. (:

well, she provided useful insight to my option of considering full time. i wanted to lay clear path and to pray about them.
1) to remain in the line
2) to be accepted as a teacher
3) full time ministry

full time was rather grey initially, but i sorta know how i can begin right now. so i guess will start looking at some christian organisations and explore..
this gonna be pretty exciting i guess, so will quickly list them down and start praying.. (:
guess the biggest issue that all will face is the acceptance of family and financial issue. sigh...
it is to put trust in God's providence. will i have that big faith? i know what my heart desire.
qns is do i trust Him to lead me?

such an inspiring night, thank God for it.

complaints abt taking a budget airplane to aussie or bali?
sometimes i cannot understand the thoughts that ppl hold.

u want to have a relax time overseas, yet u complaint abt the cost.
u want good service yet u mind paying the extra.
u want everything up to ur expectation yet u want to minimize its cost.

how?

isnt it a give and take? u pay for what u asked for.

okie, just a lunch and it caused me to blog abt it..
guess the living standard in sg is high, thus we may have a higher expectation & our ks-ism sets in as well.

not that it bother me much anyway.. (:

had a chat with u..
i thot it was kinda nice since it was a while since we chatted.
always had the impression that sch work is occupying u..
i felt that you seems to have a certain perception that u cannot resolve and bingo! i was right
maybe i shouldnt have treated u as a little girl, guess that's one of the disadvantages of my 'motherly' nature.

alot of mixed feelings for the past weeks.. though it was buried deep down..
i always thought it wont be a prob esp so when you treat ppl with ur heart.
and i do have an expectation, that you will understand me.. much like a telepathy (:
in fact, it is pointless to talk abt things that happened for so long isnt it? esp when i will sleep through it.

hai.. i wonder when i will recover from this? time? for me or for u to adapt?
is it really an issue on adaptation?

many apologies for this post.. just my random thoughts (:

one down, one more to go...

really am thankful to those that helped out.sometimes, i wonder what i got myself into...

thanks for meeting me & the nice meal..
not all expensive food are good food, it can be a simple place with yummy food! (:

had a nice breakfast today..
it has been a while since i had mac breakfast.. (:

work this few days been alright...
not that there isnt anything to do.. but guess is the usual, mundane stuff...
went to warehouse to do a tagging of fixed asset.. warehouse is so messy and just messy!
tired.. stinked.. but had a nice meal and cab to and fro, so what more can i ask for?
easily contented indeed..

yeah, am easily contented....
so the proposal that u came out with in fact are rather fine with me..
but i feel it gonna be tough for us..
however, am thankful with ur sharing.. (:
yes, will trust & support u in that..

Some say love, It is a river,
That drowns the tender ring,
Some say love, It is a razor,
That leads your soul to bleed,
Some say love, It is a hunger,
And endless aching need,

I say love, It is a flower,
And you its only seen,
It's the heart, Afraid of breaking,
That never, Learns to dance,
It's the dream, Afraid of waking,
That never, Takes the chance,
It's the one, Who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to be,
And the soul, Afraid of dying,
That never, Learns to live,

And the night, Has been too lonely,
And the rode, Has been too long,
And you feel, That road is only,
For the lucky, And the strong,
Just remember, In the winter,
Far beneath, The bitter snow,
Lies a seed, That with the suns love,
In the spring, Becomes a rose
--------------------------------------------
just heard this song.. i do like e tune.. (:

took a walk at pebble bay.. yay finally!
thanks so much for the surprise, for coming down (:
felt much better seeing you..

thanks for helping me to prepare for bs! (:
helps my thoughts to process, hopefully i can handle it..
enjoyed preparing bs too!

aiyo... u aint responding to me...
u slept already??

aint happy when you are unhappy.
these few days woke up having the reluctance to do something..
and there's this unsettled feeling inside me for very long, it is so unusual for it to be inside for so long..

maybe my focus has shifted..
today read In The Upper Room, i realised i haven spend ample time with Him.
my focus over the last period wasnt on Him, which is my fear..

last night, u told me i am cautious, yes i think i am..
on one hand i didnt want to discourage you and on the other hand i wanted to prepare myself
i wish to have the time to imagine abit, to adjust abit, to get myself ready..
i didnt feel happy going back these few days.. i do feel discouraged and disappointed too.. i do feel the difference..

sometimes i wonder is it i cannot read you well enough..
--------------------------------------------------------------------
remaining still, knowing that You are God, the one in control.

finally........

i went to Henderson Waves yest night! (: (yes Ivy, please see this and feel guilty
it is really really beautiful.. great to have you ard..
thank you for searching with me.. (no thanks to your attempt to scare me! hurmp!)
(was kinda disappointed if we gonna miss this and head for sentosa instead...)

thanks for being so patient & really nice towards me..
really appreciated it and thank God for you!

didnt know that u have such an intention behind it..
anyway didnt know how the convo geared towards u revealing it.. but i do appreciate that thoughts..
----------------------------------------------------------------

slept late last night and finding myself waking up at 5am...
then i cuddled myself and went back to sleep, waking up again at 610am, so tired..
decided not to follow dad's ride to office..

i really wasnt showing any attitude.. hai... :(

Praise to the Lord, Almighty

Praise to the Lord, the Almighty,
the King of creation!
O my soul, praise Him, for He is thy
health and salvation!
All ye who hear,
Now to His temple draw near;
Sing now in glad adoration!

Praise to the Lord, who o'er all
things so wondrously reigneth,
Who, as on wings of an eagle,
uplifteth, sustaineth.
Hast thou not seen
How thy desires all have been
Granted in what He ordaineth?

Praise to the Lord, who hath fearfully,
wondrously, made thee!
Health hath vouchsafed and, when
heedlessly falling, hath stayed thee.
What need or grief
Ever hath failed of relief?
Wings of His mercy did shade thee.

Praise to the Lord, who doth prosper
thy work and defend thee,
Who from the heavens the streams of
His mercy doth send thee.
Ponder anew
What the Almighty can do,
Who with His love doth befriend thee.

Praise to the Lord! Oh, let all that
is in me adore Him!
All that hath life and breath, come
now with praises before Him!
Let the Amen
Sound from His people again;
Gladly for aye we adore Him.

-----------------------------------------------------
indeed, Praise to God for His wondrous work!

(:
am glad weekend is here again!

am blogging to motivate people to blog... what an irony..
was blogging in faithbook, but decided to change to cont here, reason being, i wanna do a whole break down of what God spoke to me in Colossians! haha... think that will take me awhile...
but aint it cool to share what God spoke in details? (:

hasnt been blogging for awhile as i was writing my thoughts in a separate document...
i never once let anyone read my diary except for an open blog like this..
therefore, treasure it! (: (i know you will)

work for the past few days had been a killer... maybe also cos of the long breaks in dec and jan, hence, work seems hectic... just closed my accounts for dec 08 and now i am closing for jan 09... how fast time flies!

now the next thing to look forward to is drill competition in mar! the major event of the year!!
laying things down at His feet and knowing that God is in control...

CNY has been rather different this year, maybe cos visited pastor boon seng & aunty pat, and visted Wen wei & Bee lan, people i have never visited before.. and it was really interesting...
had lunch with pastor and dinner with WW... and that's how i spent my 3rd day of cny..

as for 2nd day, went over to Lawrence's place in the morning, it was a nice trip.. and special note: the dog is soooo cute still.. haa... i do have a good impression of the family too, nice and friendly (at least to me). after which was my place, elisa and ph came along.. (: and lastly dinner @ sharon's place... nice hospitality.. guess by then i am too tired to even help out and all... (:

1st day is the usual thing, with me being at grandma's place early in the morning then home the rest of the day.. it ended off with Lawrence coming over to my place at night and having us bringing my siblings out for a blading session and pool... (:

that's mostly what has been happening so far and i am happy.. (:
thanks again for always driving me around...
thanks too for being around..
and many thanks for the things u have done... (:

A Qns being asked..

"Faith is not something man contributes to salvation but is itself a part of God's gift of salvation - it is God's gift to the sinner, not the sinner's gift to God"

my perspective was that nothing that i give to God can be classified as a gift to Him.my view is that i see that myself, a sinner, and God gave His son for me, is already the best gift that i have ever received, hence no amount of gift i give can be compared to that. on the other hand, i will like to say that all that i have-everything, i offer it up to Him. Just like offering my life as a living sacrifices to Him, to acknowledge the Lordship of Him in my life.

WW shared that sacrifices can also be things that we are comfortable with in our lives. (:
above is my humble perspective, and salvation comes from faith not by works..
aint sure if i answer ur qns...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
i really have no idea why did i say that prayer last night...
oh no.... felt that it was a wrong move...
hmmm....
anyway spent a longer time praying abt it last night...

will often hair blowing damage hair???
think i heard this somewhere be4.....
(i've been using it almost everyday!!!!) oh dear.....

attended Justin's wedding @ Grand Shanghai..
a nice ambience... is really a special wedding that i have attended so far..
and as usual, the bride- Karen is really pretty.. (:
so this filled up the whole sat with abt an hr spent at HQ with the drill peeps.. (:

thanks for driving me ard despite ur tiredness...
haha... and sorry for not letting you nap, but to settle my laptop.. rather ours (sis and mine)

caught Passengers... initially thought it was kinda boring show.. however, it is kinda exciting and nice towards the end.. (: kinda a nice show afterall...

work today seems alittle slow.. guess better to build the momentum and start clearing before the busy cny period comes... (:

was talking to jy.. haa again..
well... i do hope things will get better... sad eh..

was waiting for him to get back home.. so blog for a while..

sorry for not being able to help you feel better..
thought maybe is better for me to give u more space and just follow wherever you go...
will be praying for the things you shared today, in fact, when i prayed the last time be4 we begin, i already told God that that should be where it is heading. perhaps, is kinda too fast all a sudden ba.. (:

but one thing to be assured is i am happy & blessed.. (:
glad that u called to inform me today, was worried, so uttered a short prayer for u and the driver.. glad things are over, though costing another hole or bigger, but i guess is fine afterall yeah.. (: a nice ending...

caught Transporter 3 today.. and we met avril..
is a nice show and i enjoyed it...(:

okie... i should sleep...
gonna pray and sleep..