Enough

I think this is enough..

My thoughts...

Yup as expected it just passed by without mentioned.. I didn't remind..

Guess this preg or period made me stronger! Daring to try things I wanted to but nv try before! Had a great time @ mag's.. Am Gg pedi with her soon and maybe WAXING! Haa! (since nobody reads) I always wanted but nv dare to!! Now I just want to try!!! Is it the hormones??? I really do think so!!

I think preg makes the whole body goes hay wire! So maybe doing that will at least let the nurses or docs have a better 'experience' when handling down under... :P what a naughty thought! But like what was shared is courtesy!! :) Haa!

Time passes..

It was just 3 yrs ago.. But 3 yrs later I kept it away.. Don't think he will rem anyway..

Is amazing how much I have grown in these 3 yrs! Learning to be a wife and now Gg to be a mom.. And so what's next? Life is challenging isn't it..

Thank God for placing some of u ard, ppl who has special place in my heart to help through this. God, please teach me what to do..

My prayer..

Abba Father, let me be
Yours and Yours alone.
May my will for ever be
Evermore Your own.
Never let my heart grow cold,
Never let me go.
Abba Father, let me be
Yours and Yours alone.

God, never let me go.. Same to u..

梦一场

我们都曾经寂寞而给对方承诺 我们都因为折磨而厌倦了生活
只是这样的日子 同样的方式 还要多久
我们改变了态度而接纳了对方 我们委屈了自己成全谁的梦想
只是这样的日子 还剩下多少 已不重要

时常想起过去的温存 它让我在夜里不会冷
你说一个人的美丽是认真 两个人能在一起是缘份

早知道是这样 像梦一场 我才不会把爱都放在同一个地方
我能原谅 你的荒唐 荒唐的是我没有办法遗忘
早知道是这样 如梦一场 我又何必把泪都锁在自己的眼眶
让你去疯 让你去狂 让你在没有我的地方坚强
让我在没有你的地方疗伤

What if...

What if God did not stop it?

真心的朋友

我们在生命中许要几个真心的朋友?
我很感谢我生命里的好朋友...

A song I heard at work, which triggered my thought. I always think I am a true and nice friend to ppl, I treat ppl with sincerity since young. I wanted to be everyone's best friend when I young - how silly was that... :)

I recalled how I used to chase up 3rd floor classroom to reprimand a pri sch fren of mine who was rude to his mom, his mom was heart broken waiting at the sch hall for his appearance. Strangely, at P4, I will think of doing that. Haa sound silly... He was a violent boy, how scared I was at that time..

How am I feeling today?

Sunday afternoon

I don't usually sleep by myself on a Sunday afternoon since hmm 4 yrs ago... Rather i don't even have the habit of naps...

Now I m by myself.. Napping..

To be or not to be..

I decided to share my thoughts again.. Maybe it backfired, I dunno...

Think we see things differently maybe? Things we did not resolve before we decided to be together forever.. And now perhaps it is piling and going to explode.

Today is actually one of my happiest day after the whole thing. We went shopping for the whole afternoon, and our hands were locked again.. Yea I ended it with my thoughts and feeling..

To put it simple, I really just want him to be happy.. I also want him to stay close to Him..

Guessed I have failed in my role and vow.. Such a failure I am isn't it... Maybe it was him but all along it was me...

God's will

1) God's sovereign will - Our God is in control of everything

2) God's moral will - what to do and not to do, which are found in the bible.

3) God's permissible will - God allowed it to happen such as suffering, sins...

4) God's directive will - not my will but Thy will be done..

The meaning of life

Took half day to accompany mom for her mammography. Met a lady whose eyes were red, guess she is in pain.

Maybe she was just diagnosed to be a cancer patient. In life, many ppl won't think or consider illness till illness hits them. I could be one of them too. I never think that certain things I will be going through but I am.

So what should I do since knowing that life is short, so much to achieve and yet we dunno how much time we have. Thus happy or sad, we still need to pass that 1 day, why not let it be a happy day? :)

Can't get to sleep

不知道为什么睡不着。
He is snoring in bed... He must be too tired these days..

There is none like You

There is none like You,
No one else can touch my heart like You do,
I can search for all eternity Lord
And find, there is none like You.

Your mercy flows like a river wide,
And healing comes from Your hand.
Suffering children are safe in Your arms,
There is none like You.

Visit to the gynea

He is getting on my nerves again. I don’t know if he is aware of the procedure. Well, SOP again. But he took a long while at HR, hmmm... am I going to feel guilty again?


Came to hear abt Cheryl’s mom, wishing her well soon. Especially at this age, been hearing stories about parents falling ill. Dennis shared he will be taking leaves to help and I think he has done alot for her family, well family as he said. Family, a heart warming word. Haa I rem Frankie mentioned to me, the child is only 3 yrs old once, 4 yrs old once etc, hence we should spend time with our children and enjoy their company. By the time, they reach dating years they wont need parents anymore, love is just like air to them. Haa, I must admit sometimes this can be rather true.

Today we visited the gynea, bb is growing well. Ah 9cm! That’s fast, each visit he/she will grow by at least twice. Life is amazing isn’t it? I can imagine myself being in my mom’s womb and forming each part of my body. That’s God creation! The next visit will be the detailed scan.

OR2012 was rather boring. The only thing that touched my heart most is worship and the sharing of Proverbs 31 by Mrs Tay. I have failed, so difficult.

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies,
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it,
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Sorry I lied...

Does love change so fast?
I read through my entries and felt things changed.

Honestly, I didn't feel good Abt this morning because hope was given but usually it is deflated. This is also not once. U asked if I want, I didn't want to make u feel made used, like i needed u. I rather it be Sth u want to do for me. 想:现在的你和以前不一样.

I think I had such a strong feel because I try very best to fulfil the things I promised. You didnt like me to break promise made to you, but I see you breaking mine. Maybe to you, u didn't promise. But u also know I didn't like plans to be changed. In fact, I knew this morning this will be expected. I thought maybe this period I will feel alittle love from u, but as I walk out on my own, as I carry my heavy bag, my heart was heavier. I felt unwanted and unloved.

I know he is tired, physically, mentally, maybe emotionally too. Perhaps I am asking too much.

I see preg ladies on the road, most often with the hubby along side, holding them. Honestly, I felt this preg, I am all alone. I didn't feel love. I felt upset that things changed. I didn't like this stage of my life.. I feel like just running away... I puke ytd, I needed a hug, from who?

This is a place I just want to rant how I feel.. Maybe these 2 days is a good break for us..