Monday, December 30, 2013

Unappreciated

Yea this is what I feel.. 

Since u didn't want to talk abt it and I don't think you will get it. Neither do I want to start another phone war.. I was very defensive because I want to protect myself. It is coming to a month, but I didn't hear u said anything encouraging to me. It was always, "what new stuff is Abby trying?" "You should start a routine" "this routine is not working" "you should this this this and that that that" "Adrian's bb can do this" "Adrian'wife is doing this and that" it felt like all the things I am doing is not right. Is like at work, I don't receive praises for doing a job well done. Or i don't get any encouragement for making progress. Thus it made me feel lazy to even want to try anything, might as well just wait and let u nag. 

U are making comparison and indirectly putting pressure on me. Did u know? No doubt, u didn't scold me when Abby fell. I think if u did it be much more worst, esp the aftermath I had to face when ppl starts to ask what happened. 

I really dunno what it means to be a good mom or even a wife that u expected. I already tried my best, to accommodate, to compliment. Don't start a phone war with me if u read this. Not happy with it or felt unjust, nvm leave it. I be fine after a sleep. 

Tired. Sleep. 12 12 already.. 

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Cannot get to sleep..

Is late but I can't get to sleep. 
Feeling hungry and some feeling within me that I dunno how to put it to words. 

I dunno if I had said the wrong things to someone in depression. >.< haven heard a reply, so just hope she is doing okie. Didn't know her for very long, but she was willing to share with me, interesting. 
Maybe she is causing me to lose sleep too, kinda worried for her.. 

Hungry..... Sleep..... 

Whenever I m unwell I like to put on my super oversized pullover since JC times. I felt it reminds me of daddy when I wear it because dad put it on before and qns me why do I buy such a big one! :D

1 week past Abby's fall :( thank God for protecting... 

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Stop the clock (Peter Marsh)

Try to stop the clock from turning
Everyday we keep on learning
There's a better way for us to live

We are young and open hearted
We can't stop the change has started
Make the world a better place to live

Even though the time is on our side
There is a no place where we can hide
We know that there is just one way

Stop the clock and think about it
We are young and we can shout it loud
So everyone can see

Stop the clock and think about it
We are young and we can shout it loud
Make the world a better place to live

Stop the clock and think about it
We are young and we can shout it loud
So everyone can see

Stop the clock and think about it
We are young and we can shout it loud
Make the world a better place to live

A better place for you and me

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Hmmm

Hmmm.. Finally tired.... Goodnight... 

Bored.... 

Sian... 

Hmmm.... Haha..

Dec is coming!

Dec is coming marks 2 occasion. A time of giving and feasting and of cos is the celebration of my last day at work. Not exactly celebration, ppl are telling Abby to celebrate instead. Well, I guess is a new calling, a new job. Wish me all the best because is a life we are talking abt here. I usually like Christmas season, but dunno why is feeling a-little-dunno-how-to-describe. Hmmm... A tinge of unhappy, not sad, not moody. Hmmm dunno... Hopefully it goes away.

My Christmas tree! Guess it looks nicer now then the previous decoration. My first tree. So proud of my tree. 



Is late, should be sleeping but can't get to sleep. Hai................ 

Another night with just Abby and me..

Sunday, November 17, 2013

So sad

Omg! I burnt 6 chicken.. Nvm worst is, it is inedible? :(

And Abby fell in front of me and got a bruise... :( 

Sian.......

Double Sian.... 

Ice cream time.......

Saturday, November 02, 2013

What a day wasted!

I hated when promises made are not fulfilled! Worst to be cancelled at the last minutes and decided by mood. I hated it. Such a weekend and spent like this. U have ur moments of fun, why should I be deprived when I only have weekends to go out. Period! I should just go out with Abby. 

I wonder what Abby will react in future when u just changed ur mind like this.

I always ask myself why! Why do I want to make my life so hard. 

Sunday, October 20, 2013

How mean can it be

A business "partner". How nice to use a term like this to hide a mistress. Is sad to keep hearing such stories. If u had known a wife who is kept in a the dark of the husband's business "partner" and yet the whole grp kept quiet abt it, how sad it is? Period. Disgust me. Such a whore "partner" and a jerk. 

What I pity most is the wife and the sons she bore. Being kept in the dark. How abt switching position with the woman out to play? Imagine having the sons grow up knowing what kind of a father they have. Why can't man be responsible for his own doing. Seriously, is maddening just to hear it! So what even if I can say all this, she isn't my friend. If she is, I sure to expose him in front of the wife and perhaps give the "partner" a tight slap for being a sucker. Yea perhaps she enjoys *sucking*, what a whore! 

Realized am getting super vulgar and especially toward women and men who are home wrecker. If you think ur heart cannot stay with one, don't settle down. It just hurt many hearts. If u didn't think then is just too bad, u are just such a bad planner. Period. WTS. Seriously how I wish I can expose him. So what if u are rich, it doesn't give u right to do it.  

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

So late

好想找个人来说说话! 可是太迟了!

Threaded some of the roads that I grew up with brought back so much memories. Reminded me of my growing up years! How fast time flies and how much I have grown. 

Somehow, the song "Lord, I offer my life" became a different meaning to me when I sang it again after a long time. Is such a different feeling to be singing this. I guess it mean I have really grown. 

Facts of life is sth I think I beginning to see. Random thoughts. Back to my paper. 

好可爱呵!! 



Friday, September 06, 2013

Ohhhhh hellooooo


Hasn't been blogging for a while!!
How can I not blog abt the little cutie.. :) 

Is so nice to know that you have a place where is filled with ppl who love you and ppl whom you love.. 

Hope u feel love cutie! 











Tuesday, July 30, 2013

I felt I didn't had time to do the things I need to do. On top of that, the phone had chose to go flat on the day when it should be fully utilized. Felt like the whole world is condemning me for not having the phone on. 

Teach so many times u also didnt get it. So frustrating. 
Don't ask further for comments when it is approved and no further amendments allowed. It is irritating. 
Had a scare for EC, published but not followed. Hai. 
Did not approve Sth in time. Felt so bad the entire day.

Tired. So many things and so much responsibilities. 

Didnt like what I am feeling..

Growing up

Not sure if I have posted this before. But is a reminder that Abby will grow. One day, she will not want us to carry her anymore.... Awwwwwww....


Monday, July 22, 2013

Sian

It is damn stupid to send the email to gebiz. Will gebiz even know that the supplier has changed uen? Seriously! I don't even know why u want me to do it. Is it my purview? Fine, I did it. 

I don't need u to step into my procurement. You don't have to consider how much involvement. I don't like to be in the same team as u, what more u see u. Freak. A few more times, that's it. I don't see u are leading me well. I rather run on my own. 

Am already not clever, don't need another email to make me look stupid. Yea, maybe I am stupid afterall. 

Sian. 

Period. 

Really hated it. 

Thursday, July 11, 2013

All about Abby baby!

She is sooooo cute! She has learnt to flip n now she is exploring her lungs!! 

Such a smiley baby.. Thank God :)




Wednesday, July 10, 2013

心情

我只想把我的想法说出来.. 
我真的好不喜欢现在的model. 
The comments passed etc.. Maybe joking but I didn't like. It is the same as per what I encountered 2 yrs back. I will remain silent and less active until I find that confidence once again. 

对于你: 我觉得和事老应该多少有一点鼓励,而不是加盐加醋。不是应该平和大家的心情吗?一家人那来的各夜仇。可能真的是我不明白吧。但是那个人喜欢一直被讲?是你也不高兴。这一次应该是第三次了吧。好乱啊!

今天好sian,带着一个很不想上班的心情。好怀念我的ML... 

心情不太好时就想用华语.. 
老公的心情也不好。我不知道要怎么安为他。

Monday, July 01, 2013

Some thoughts

Have yet to pen my thoughts in a long while.. 

Work started. Well, it didnt happen the way I expected. Things move slow initially, then unwanted jokes/comments came, next to keep up to speed. The initial stage I almost didnt want to work. However, it is interesting to take on procurement. I learnt much and now gg on courses and making friends from other agency abt procurement. I think it is fun. :)

I missed Abby at work too! Awww having to call back whenever am free to check on her.. Missed taking care of her when she is with me.. :) 

Many a times I took for granted many things. Knowing abt what M&D is gg through, I dunno if I can make it through. They both displayed faith and love and support for each other is admirable. I am touched by it. D looks like a normal mom waiting for her boy's arrival. But deep in her, there must be alot of mixed feelings. I took for granted with my time with Abby. So fast, 16 weeks past. 

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Seriously I hated it

I hated liars. Because I had a very bad experience. I hated it when I put 100% trust and in the end I found out is a lie. A lie is a lie. Whatever reason it is, if I asked and I was told a lie I will be very upset. Don't blame me for showing black face because it started from you.

How will I ever dare to put total trust? Is it that hard to speak the truth? Feels like men words cannot be trusted. Big fat liar. If that makes u happy, you can cont, I will discount whatever you said and I think that's the distance how far we can go.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Grandpa's demise

Grandpa lived a ripe old age of 98. I have no more maternal or paternal grandpa since 14, until I married Lawrence and I have the opportunity to call 'ah gong'. However, this ah gong had left us. He went in a peaceful manner which many ppl envy. 

How will I end my journey? Most impt this remind me of what legacy am I going to leave. Am sure ah gong left good memories and legacy to the children and grandchildren. :) 

Monday, June 10, 2013

Late night

Is late but I can't get to sleep. Alot of thoughts in my mind... Hmmm.. 

Feeling sian, feeling tired, feeling kinda alone.. 

Saturday, June 01, 2013

Abby's first head up!

Usually for long naps, I will put Abby on her tummy. She will wake up with a cry because no one is helping her to get up. But ytd I found her head up so high! Awwww I am so proud of this little girl. Instead of disturbing her, I called mom and we both started taking photo of this girl! :) and of cos she doesn't smile when she see my polka dots cover -.- but after I removed it, she smiled at me!! Awww.. 

Wonder how many firsts I will be able to jot down for Abby! 

Today is also Abby's first time attending a church wedding! :) haaa she really can win ppl's hearts with her smiles.. :) good girl! She wore yi yi's new clothes for her and headband. :)







Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Abby's injection

Went for Abby's 1st dose of 5in1 and nuerococa (sth like this)..
She is such a cute girl, smiling all the way, crying only when the jab is in. I enjoyed watching her every expression, even when her face changed for the jab, it is priceless. Gear up next: 5th jul for the little one. :) way to go Abby!!

Up next for mama is back to work :( it is coming to an end so soon... I gonna miss her.. Taking care of her was still alright, esp since mama helps me too. :) can't take much pictures of her in the day soon.. Abby, don't grow up too fast yea, many things in the world u wish u dont have to face when u face them, so enjoy your childhood! :) I love u 小宝贝!

I always thought I can give my children a complete family where they grow well, be well manner and has good family value. I am not sure if I be setting a good example for her, but I know one thing I promise to teach her to always look to God. I don't think is hard for families to set good family value, just need to be one first.. I think I have a good family value, at least I grow up in one where my parents love us alot and we are considered filial. I think he failed big time walking away without greeting my mom or helping his mom with the heavy stuff. I don't think a 24yr old throwing tantrums in front of mom's friends is anywhere good. Ok, I heard he has his dad's traits. 


Going for jab
2 jabs :(
Smiling seeing doc after jab
Fever at night :( poor girl
Daddy sayang-ing her at night
Today in the morning.. 
Mama decided to take out 2 rubber duckies for her at bath.. :)
A much better Abby today! :)

Monday, May 27, 2013

Abby is 3 months old!

My dear precious baby is 3 months old today! :) she is soooo cute! I can't stop buying cute things for her.. 

And I hope what I hear today will turn out to be good news! :) 




Saturday, May 25, 2013

Abby is week 12!

Time passes by so fast! Little Abby is turning 3 months soon! :) awwww.. Is a joy to see her grow stronger each day. I just love hugging her for she is sooooo huggable! :) 

She is such a smiley baby, who is not afraid of stranger (hmmm, may be a bad thing), but she definitely loves ppl talking to her! :P such a cute baby.. :) 

I pray that Abby will continue to grow strong and stay healthy! :) next tue gonna be Abby's injection again, I hope she doesn't develop too high a fever.. God, pls protect Abby.. Amen!! 

Monday, May 20, 2013

Abby is unwell....

Today took little Abby to see a doc. :( she was having a cough.
This little girl didn't let her discomfort get in her way, she was smiling and wanting some baobao which I willingly gave! :) I m so gonna miss her when I go to work... She was given a cough syrup or her phlegm n a nose drop.

Was clearing the email n saw one from WL. I was also reminded about the story of a woman whom ppl were throwing stones at (can't rem is from where), and Jesus said to let those without sin to throw at her, which nobody did. Urghh... For the last time Lord pls...

A shameless slut, a fugly whore, a bitch with a F***-up face n a messy life! It deserves all karma. Yes is a IT! Damn it. Better off be dead.

Ok, Lord I know I m being too evil. I wish I can curse, I wish there is a technology where I can turn the butt to the front! Sometimes I wonder why should I keep silent? But God,You reminded me from the bible, hai... I won't dare to go against Your word. Okie noted!

Awwww, I wish to kiss the floor of Europe!!!! Haaa!!!! But I also know gg means cost many many much much money!!! Haa.... Teo gonna have debts to clear I guess! :P

Friday, May 17, 2013

Goodnight...

Is time for bed but I didn't feel like sleeping, not that I slept in the day, in fact I didn't. 

I kinda missed those days I slept at 2am, think it was JC days. I had such difficulties to adjust back. I slept at 2am for a good long years, either surfing net or chatting on msn. There's no msn nowadays, and nobody I can find on Skype to chat at this time now. The ppl I used to chat seem to have slept early too. 

Wanted to put Abby to sleep early today but seems like she is a little cranky tonight, in fact seems like she is every thurs. only put her to bed slightly earlier than her usual bedtime. Well, slowly She will get there.. :) I enjoy carrying her sleeping in my arms, seems so peaceful. 




Thursday, May 09, 2013

Abby is week 11!!

Didn't post last week.. Hahaa.. So shall post abt Abby from week 9-11! :) she grew so fast. 

Brought her to baby spa on 11/05/2013, her first time swimming. Haa witnessed by us and Aunty Elisa! :) Abby enjoyed herself! So cute of her. This little baby is so interesting.. Was I like that too when I was younger? :) may God continue to bless her and that she be a faithful child of God. :) 


Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Shopping!!

Though am hm in Sg, I feel like I am shopping in Europe too!! Haa.. Goodness..

Yea I like expensive bags, quality that counts ma.. Of cos if the hub buy I more happy cos is a gift ma.. Muhahahaha... From the very first coach bag I owned, which was from the bf, dunno who is the one who made me started the trend? But I kept all the bags and I interchange them as and well..

Teo had a kill in Europe!!! Ahhhhh... She bought an LV speedy for $900! Don't really know how much it costs here though.. Haa.. We are bags lovers! I knew I found the right kakis to shop :P

So true...



Tuesday, May 07, 2013

Happiness is natural but Joy is supernatural. Happiness depends on happenings but Joy depends on Jesus!

I like the above quote! Someone asked how has 2013 been? Well, looking back to the past 4months, I have changed from a married woman to a mother. It doesn't come that easy of cos, from gg through all symptoms of preg for 9months, is really Sth I wish that the men will go through. Otherwise, they won't understand the discomfort, pain, changes etc the women are gg through. Haa..

2013 I won't say is great but good so far. Abby's coming is a blessing and she has added vibrancy to the family. Everyone looks forward to seeing her. I see God's hand at work for many things. My prayer will continue to be the same.

Gonna embark a new portfolio when I go back to work! Gg to take over Dennis's portfolio - procurement. Gonna be abit scary.. But it will be a good learning experience..

Father, You know my struggles, please reveal Your plan and may it lessen the fear and pain. Let me feel the love once again.

Hmm.... Felt I didn't sleep well the past few nights. So tired n drained. But little Abby nv fails to make me laugh. Haa I love her so much that I kept kissing her! Soon she gonna have many pimples! Hahahaha!! How not to kiss??



Thursday, May 02, 2013

Finally...

Time alone... :)

When Abby is sleeping, I can accomplish a lot of stuff, realized actually SAHM is not something I cannot do too. I like it when I have the time to make the house clean, or rather for the matter of fact more of doing the chores such as laundry and mopping/sweeping.

Some of the stuff I did while Abby was in her lala-land... Washing her clothes, washing our clothes, ironing our clothes, pumping milk!!!, showering!!!!! (Of cos after I showered her)... One thing I was glad, some of the items were dried and managed to keep em. I will tend to forget abt laundry that is being sun, since I seldom do them, but I am getting better. :) the handkerchief and diaper cloth are easiest items to dry. Ta-da, Kept!!!

Thinking of handkerchief sometimes just make me angst. It is a personal item, I was upset instead of getting it himself or asking the wife, he asked a colleague for help to make purchase. Seriously, sometimes I dunno if he knows where's the line. Yes, small things like this can make me angst because it tells a lot for a woman, not just me, ask other women ard. This time I nearly flared at him, sometimes I just turn away, slowly I will be numbed. Dunno in future, will we be like many parents nowadays where after their kids grow up, they each do their own stuff, staying tog but yet hm becomes just a place for resting. Hai.. I know he works hard, we will need to work harder for a family. Esp so for me since I attended the seminar. I thought it was interesting when one shared the wife is not married to fetch things (newspaper, shoes etc), ppl will call a dog to fetch. But some stuff I think doing it is just a way to show care and concern, even a glass of water each day or covering up with a blanket. Hmmm well then again, I may think like this doesn't mean he will think the same way right... Now I know why building a family is a lifetime learning process. In fact, character molding is also a lifetime process isn't it? :)

We went to visit the new hse with the little girl, she was up but she was more keen on the sky I guess. Hey Abby, the sky is the same everywhere, still the same sky. We are excited over the new hse, so high and windy. Finally after a long wait, it is here just a few more months away. Maybe when jul comes, I be blogging from the new hse. Haha! So *lame*..

Visited the first ID, initially I thought the hub will not like her thus not keen on what she presented. Well, think he has a good impression of her for now, shall look at a few more ba. Think is easier to engage an ID that can cater to most of our request and of cos within our budget. Soon, we gonna have a big hole. In fact, when Abby came, there was a big hole already. :) ask the hub, he is good at counting.

The next thing to look forward to is church camp! The first time we be bringing Abby out to msia! Well, unless we gonna buy our fans before church camp.. First time Abby gg church camp when she is 3.5 mths! :) so nice to be a baby. No worries, just cry when u are hungry or uncomfortable and someone will attend to u. I also want!!! :)

Teo is in Paris!!! Waiting for my loot *hopefully* and for niceeeeee photos!! Such a beautiful place... That made me miss USA too, another beautiful place for beautiful ppl like us!!! :) another beautiful place that I hasn't visited for a long time which always bring me back to the sweetest time.. Haa found a friend who took a nice pic of it and I love it!



Wednesday, May 01, 2013

Abby is week 9!! :)

My dear Abby is week 9.. :)
Her cries are getting louder, tears is flowing faster, appetite is getting bigger, but her smile is getting wider and her baby words are increasing! :)

Awwww such a cute little baby.. :)