I wish.... I wish..... I wish....

The hub still rem i needed ice cream when am down, hence he brought me to siglap hagen das ytd! (: thanks for that... i really appreciate though you are already so tired. well, one wish down from what i was hoping this week! :P

i wish.... i wish.... i really wish to go on holiday soon... just want to be away for a while... 

sometimes i wonder what it be like if i go on my own, of cos i know now is an impossible thing to go alone. i will think i want the space and environment to think, to let go, and to just immerse myself in a slow moving pace. now i have work keeping me occupy, so what's after work? most of the time is nth.. really hope to join a bs grp soon, will wait for an opportunity. then again, i dont want ppl to ask me how is he doing, this is refraining me from joining another grp... 

this yr christmas, i wish for something different. God, please hear from me... 

all i wish for christmas is that he find the way back to Your Heart. 

God i have my own fear, of what the future brings, but God i pray You go before us and lead the way. 

honestly, sometimes when we talked abt the 2nd child, i am scare.. i am scare to go through the same thing again. i am also scare to let him know, i dunno if he will understand i need time and assurance.

i really hope Abigail and with the transition of having our own little place will improve the situation. and i do hope he be out of the team. out of sight, out of mind. *abigail just kicked*

sometimes i admit i do entertain the thoughts of the worst, and i agree that things are not the same anymore (better? worst? i dunno) even though i find myself wanting to show love even if it is a simple hug. i also find myself reminiscing the past. but i also know he is trying and i appreciate all that he has done, even a simple message that he thought of me. *she kicked again*

to the baby now... 

had many hand-me-down clothes for her. i am thinking as the day draw nearer, i may not be able to resist myself and buy her a cute little romper! (: but just dunno if she can fit, will it be too small cos she is chubby or too big cos she is so skinny? (: life is so amazing, the thought of how it came from just the sperm and egg, and it leads to where i am today, there must be someone who created it.. 

alright.. time for bed... am tired.... night..