Today i was reminded during marriage preparation, Pastor did tell us about romance love that will fade. So when it fade, what will happen? For most married couple, romance love fade maybe 1 yr later because u see each other everyday. Some maybe wont even feel the romance love fade because they may have ease through the transition.
Romance Love fades and it requires effort to be put in to build it up again. Love is not just about feeling. It entails responsibilities, trust, patience etc.. i was reminded of 1 Cor 13. Many couples will feel when romance love fades if they truely think about it, next is what? Find a new gf?
Guess for me when it fades, it becomes a responsibility for me to ensure my husband's needs are met. In sickness, in health... Or maybe I always took it upon myself it is my responsibility to ensure his basic needs are met, fed well, zzz well, doing little things for him or even serving him.
Friday, August 24, 2012
My thought...
So much thought went through my mind when I was driving.
Today I prepared breakfast, wanted to try something different. I had this urge to have a sumptuous meal and decided to spend a little effort. I knew in my heart is not because for myself, I feel I want to do something special for him.
I didn’t want to find out, but yet I want to know. I want to know how he is feeling and if he is coping well. I know truth hurts. I know. Sometimes I feel I am doing something but I dunno what the outcome is. Will it be like before? I dunno.. 2 yrs down the road, does it mean I will be going through the same thing? I felt meaningless doing the things I did though I know I have to. I felt I am the one assuring all the time, who will assure me? Felt so lonely. I nv felt like this before.
I pondered does it also mean 2 yrs down the road I may give up? The child will be 2, so what can I do? The thought of it is so scary, it makes me feel this whole thing is so selfish.
Was resolving a case I have with a colleague. Her conclusion to me is to DO IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME. How often do we know the step we took is right or not? Is an irony. But some things I am sure there is a clear line.
Today I prepared breakfast, wanted to try something different. I had this urge to have a sumptuous meal and decided to spend a little effort. I knew in my heart is not because for myself, I feel I want to do something special for him.
I didn’t want to find out, but yet I want to know. I want to know how he is feeling and if he is coping well. I know truth hurts. I know. Sometimes I feel I am doing something but I dunno what the outcome is. Will it be like before? I dunno.. 2 yrs down the road, does it mean I will be going through the same thing? I felt meaningless doing the things I did though I know I have to. I felt I am the one assuring all the time, who will assure me? Felt so lonely. I nv felt like this before.
I pondered does it also mean 2 yrs down the road I may give up? The child will be 2, so what can I do? The thought of it is so scary, it makes me feel this whole thing is so selfish.
Was resolving a case I have with a colleague. Her conclusion to me is to DO IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME. How often do we know the step we took is right or not? Is an irony. But some things I am sure there is a clear line.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
What Faith can do
A beautiful song i heard as i was listening to my music at work. Somehow, it inspired me to search for the lyrics.
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes
And make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it's more than you can take
But you're stronger
Stronger than you know
Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining
I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason
For someone not to try
Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing
I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That's what faith can do)
When the world says you can't
It'll tell you that you can
I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
That's what faith can do
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise
What Faith Can Do
Everybody falls sometimesGotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes
And make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it's more than you can take
But you're stronger
Stronger than you know
Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining
I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason
For someone not to try
Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing
I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That's what faith can do)
When the world says you can't
It'll tell you that you can
I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
That's what faith can do
Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise
New look for a new start..
I went to change the outlook of my blog, decided to have a fresh start for this, maybe can help me feel better.
I seem to have developed a fear for loneliness. I don’t want to be alone, be it at home or sleeping. I don’t want to have that feeling anymore. God, I never have to fear this, but now I do. Last night, I went home and was alone. What will it be like when the house comes? I don’t dare to think further
I seem to have developed a fear for loneliness. I don’t want to be alone, be it at home or sleeping. I don’t want to have that feeling anymore. God, I never have to fear this, but now I do. Last night, I went home and was alone. What will it be like when the house comes? I don’t dare to think further
Moving on...
Mood: Moodless..
It has been a week.
I know you are trying to make it as comfortable for me as possible. Both of us knew, deep down there is a hole that we want to just hide in so nobody can find us, not doing anything and just be in daze.
I have been in daze for a while.. I still do the things I want to do, but the feelings are different, and things will not be the same again. Going to be better or worst? I really dunno..
Oi used to say whenever I am in the ‘I dunno’ mood, she will chose to leave me alone for a while, at least for that particular call she made.
Recently, been thinking abt the past, particularly from 2008, think those were my really happy moments all my life. Feeling so emo now, I know if I share, wont make you feel any better too.
God, I needed You.
It has been a week.
I know you are trying to make it as comfortable for me as possible. Both of us knew, deep down there is a hole that we want to just hide in so nobody can find us, not doing anything and just be in daze.
I have been in daze for a while.. I still do the things I want to do, but the feelings are different, and things will not be the same again. Going to be better or worst? I really dunno..
Oi used to say whenever I am in the ‘I dunno’ mood, she will chose to leave me alone for a while, at least for that particular call she made.
Recently, been thinking abt the past, particularly from 2008, think those were my really happy moments all my life. Feeling so emo now, I know if I share, wont make you feel any better too.
God, I needed You.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
i dunno what to title this...
I don’t know what to title this...
The last entry was Mar 2010, guess nobody will rem the existence of this blog, hence decided to reuse and pen down my thoughts.
I have yet to write/blog in a long while. Personally after this last entry, I switched to another combine blog to rem our wedding journey and ahead. However, it was stopped since motivation from one is tough to maintain. I browsed through my old entries, particularly the last one before I switched, I finally knew why the old hymm ministered to me and I wanted it to be included in my marriage worship, does he know?
When love is tried as loved ones change,
hold still to hope though all seems strange,
Till ease returns and love grows wise
through listening ears and opened eyes.
When love is torn and trust betrayed,
pray strength to love till torments fade,
Till lovers keep no score of wrong,
but hear through pain loves Easter song
I always felt that this song bears alot of meaning, it already tells me how difficult the journey of marriage can be. Maybe, I thought I will have a wonderful one. But I must say, I really do think I had a wonderful one until the trust was betrayed.
I felt so miserable. I really do. I know he is having a hard time too and most probably got whacked/will be by a lot of ppl. What hurts me is the truth. Is an irony that I want to hear yet I find myself biting my lips to hear? Women cant help but to compare, I don’t wish to. I felt I always wanted him to be by my side, not much expectation but just want to follow where he go and he be with me when I needed him.
This journey is so tough, the road to recovery is so hard.
God, please be near us.
The last entry was Mar 2010, guess nobody will rem the existence of this blog, hence decided to reuse and pen down my thoughts.
I have yet to write/blog in a long while. Personally after this last entry, I switched to another combine blog to rem our wedding journey and ahead. However, it was stopped since motivation from one is tough to maintain. I browsed through my old entries, particularly the last one before I switched, I finally knew why the old hymm ministered to me and I wanted it to be included in my marriage worship, does he know?
When love is tried as loved ones change,
hold still to hope though all seems strange,
Till ease returns and love grows wise
through listening ears and opened eyes.
When love is torn and trust betrayed,
pray strength to love till torments fade,
Till lovers keep no score of wrong,
but hear through pain loves Easter song
I always felt that this song bears alot of meaning, it already tells me how difficult the journey of marriage can be. Maybe, I thought I will have a wonderful one. But I must say, I really do think I had a wonderful one until the trust was betrayed.
I felt so miserable. I really do. I know he is having a hard time too and most probably got whacked/will be by a lot of ppl. What hurts me is the truth. Is an irony that I want to hear yet I find myself biting my lips to hear? Women cant help but to compare, I don’t wish to. I felt I always wanted him to be by my side, not much expectation but just want to follow where he go and he be with me when I needed him.
This journey is so tough, the road to recovery is so hard.
God, please be near us.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
i love this song, as i came across this. (:
i thought the lyrics to be rather meaningful, it touches my heart as i recalled the journey 2 of us took.. and when love is found....
When Love is found and hope comes home,
sing and be glad that two are one.
When love explodes and fills the sky,
praise God and share our Makers joy.
When love has flowered in trust and care
build both each day, that love may dare
To reach beyond homes warmth and light
to serve and strive for truth and right.
When love is tried as loved ones change,
hold still to hope though all seems strange,
Till ease returns and love grows wise
through listening ears and opened eyes.
When love is torn and trust betrayed,
pray strength to love till torments fade,
Till lovers keep no score of wrong,
but hear through pain loves Easter song
Praise God for love, praise God for life
in age or youth, in husband, wife.
Lift up your heart let love be fed
through death and life in broken bread.
love u!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the past few days hasnt been easy for me i guess. praying that things will change for the better. and hope that God will continue to be the centre and blessing our lives.
i left Job for a while! time to get back on it! is always a joy to be reading and meditating His Word, aint it? was encouraged by a friend's reflection this morning! Thank God for such a morning! (:
i thought the lyrics to be rather meaningful, it touches my heart as i recalled the journey 2 of us took.. and when love is found....
When Love is found and hope comes home,
sing and be glad that two are one.
When love explodes and fills the sky,
praise God and share our Makers joy.
When love has flowered in trust and care
build both each day, that love may dare
To reach beyond homes warmth and light
to serve and strive for truth and right.
When love is tried as loved ones change,
hold still to hope though all seems strange,
Till ease returns and love grows wise
through listening ears and opened eyes.
When love is torn and trust betrayed,
pray strength to love till torments fade,
Till lovers keep no score of wrong,
but hear through pain loves Easter song
Praise God for love, praise God for life
in age or youth, in husband, wife.
Lift up your heart let love be fed
through death and life in broken bread.
love u!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the past few days hasnt been easy for me i guess. praying that things will change for the better. and hope that God will continue to be the centre and blessing our lives.
i left Job for a while! time to get back on it! is always a joy to be reading and meditating His Word, aint it? was encouraged by a friend's reflection this morning! Thank God for such a morning! (:
Monday, February 08, 2010
felt kinda funny.
haha, i think i should really get a change of environment. i do believe in the importance of around ppl who are on fire for God. here makes my spirit down. :( felt myself always defending and being criticised at.. boo! (though i know they may not know what i mean) still i love them, a loving bunch, will be able to progress IF i am a non-christian. but to drop my faith for this kinda friendship, no thanks! (:
oopss, being on this pms mood! haha... emoing.. so not me, dunno where did i learn this emo-ism from. hur. (:
work been alright, kinda looking forward to a change environment, yet a sentimental me, is resistance to change. haha, what a contradiction la.
went to lawrence's ahma's place last night. haa, quite an insight to see another family gathering, is kinda different from mine, guess cos mine is a bigger family bah. and is always very noisy due to the clusters of aunties grp, uncles cum some aunties grp, adult cousins grp, younger cousins grp, and the forever loud TV. (: that's my family. another i found abt myself is i dun fancy vegetarian food. but if there is, i guess i will just opt for the real vege (: haha, i think the curry vege was nice.. (: and ah ma is cute, just like mine too! ah ha.. mine can nag at the same thing over an interval of 1 min max! fantastic! (:
(i also wanna go on hols!! will u bring me? :P)
haha, i think i should really get a change of environment. i do believe in the importance of around ppl who are on fire for God. here makes my spirit down. :( felt myself always defending and being criticised at.. boo! (though i know they may not know what i mean) still i love them, a loving bunch, will be able to progress IF i am a non-christian. but to drop my faith for this kinda friendship, no thanks! (:
oopss, being on this pms mood! haha... emoing.. so not me, dunno where did i learn this emo-ism from. hur. (:
work been alright, kinda looking forward to a change environment, yet a sentimental me, is resistance to change. haha, what a contradiction la.
went to lawrence's ahma's place last night. haa, quite an insight to see another family gathering, is kinda different from mine, guess cos mine is a bigger family bah. and is always very noisy due to the clusters of aunties grp, uncles cum some aunties grp, adult cousins grp, younger cousins grp, and the forever loud TV. (: that's my family. another i found abt myself is i dun fancy vegetarian food. but if there is, i guess i will just opt for the real vege (: haha, i think the curry vege was nice.. (: and ah ma is cute, just like mine too! ah ha.. mine can nag at the same thing over an interval of 1 min max! fantastic! (:
(i also wanna go on hols!! will u bring me? :P)
Friday, February 05, 2010
hai feeling so upset.. why?
i am afraid to think further, yet there is always one solution to end it all together..
anyway, happy birthday Jac! (:
guess haven been really spending time with u too, so sorry that today cant meet u as well!
well, we are meeting next tue though! (:
CNY is coming, and i haven gotten anything done yet.. which is kinda bad though.
i need to pack my stuff, and i need to get new stuff!
hopefully can make a trip down PPC, to breath in a little of the cny breath!
nothing much to update, tml the 1st session of Spiritual Badgework! needs prayer on that.. (:
deep down, i still miss u though... hai... what a weekend..
i am afraid to think further, yet there is always one solution to end it all together..
anyway, happy birthday Jac! (:
guess haven been really spending time with u too, so sorry that today cant meet u as well!
well, we are meeting next tue though! (:
CNY is coming, and i haven gotten anything done yet.. which is kinda bad though.
i need to pack my stuff, and i need to get new stuff!
hopefully can make a trip down PPC, to breath in a little of the cny breath!
nothing much to update, tml the 1st session of Spiritual Badgework! needs prayer on that.. (:
deep down, i still miss u though... hai... what a weekend..
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Happy NEW YEAR! haha.. a little late but well... (:
am unhappy today!!!!!! sian...
why do you give birth when u know that the children that you give birth to will curse ur life?
why do u even want to go to a fortune teller to know if this child will bless u, if not, u gonna abort?
hai... i find myself wanting to give an answer but yet i cannot convince. so upset with myself and i have to rant here.
heard abt the life story of a girl who was 'abandoned' because she is a curse to the family business. then to the parents, why do u still want to give birth? makes the girl felt so unloved. it sound like a typical drama but yet it is so real. i think i was upset and frustrate a little. this story is so sad, makes me want to cry.
on the other hand, i felt thankful for my family.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
in the new year, guess this year will be a busy year, perhaps exciting too! with the transitions i have... (:
The Lord has been good too! pray that He will continue to guide me.. (:
am unhappy today!!!!!! sian...
why do you give birth when u know that the children that you give birth to will curse ur life?
why do u even want to go to a fortune teller to know if this child will bless u, if not, u gonna abort?
hai... i find myself wanting to give an answer but yet i cannot convince. so upset with myself and i have to rant here.
heard abt the life story of a girl who was 'abandoned' because she is a curse to the family business. then to the parents, why do u still want to give birth? makes the girl felt so unloved. it sound like a typical drama but yet it is so real. i think i was upset and frustrate a little. this story is so sad, makes me want to cry.
on the other hand, i felt thankful for my family.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
in the new year, guess this year will be a busy year, perhaps exciting too! with the transitions i have... (:
The Lord has been good too! pray that He will continue to guide me.. (:
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
yay!!! i finally found the soy i have been looking for!
Suntec had this salad bar called "Grand Salad" and i really love this soy that they added to it.
*yummy*
Serving Suggestion
Ideal for soups, salad dressings, vegetable sauces and oriental cooking.Ingredients
Water, soya beans, sea salt, koji (Aspergillus oryzae).Nutritional Information
per 100g:Energy 372kJ/89kcal, Protein 11.1g, Carbohydrate 10.8g, Fat 0.1g.
Other Information
Tamari soy sauce is a traditional Japanese product. Soya beans are naturally fermented in cedar casks, resulting in a unique, robust flavour.More commonly used in cooking, Tamari is richer than Shoyu and has a stronger, sharper taste and aroma, so less is needed to bring out the flavour of your favourite dishes.
Gluten Free, Less than 5% fat, Organic, Yeast Free
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Dinner cum chit chat with Sharony
Finally a day that I can meet up with Sharony!
The closest friend I have in church.. :)
Had a nice dinner at Aerin.. Kinda steep though but well, thought the food was not that bad to me.. Haa hope to u too! :)
Had some chit chat.. Thanks for the reminder again.. :)
Yeah not easy, but persevere on..
At least for now, not gonna move out of where we are, but I guess is really to take the initiatives again..
So not easy.. But yea.. Hai...
P/s: thanks Sharony! Haa left a love note @ ur desk!
P/s: I thought of u! - butt n teo... :D
The closest friend I have in church.. :)
Had a nice dinner at Aerin.. Kinda steep though but well, thought the food was not that bad to me.. Haa hope to u too! :)
Had some chit chat.. Thanks for the reminder again.. :)
Yeah not easy, but persevere on..
At least for now, not gonna move out of where we are, but I guess is really to take the initiatives again..
So not easy.. But yea.. Hai...
P/s: thanks Sharony! Haa left a love note @ ur desk!
P/s: I thought of u! - butt n teo... :D
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
All i want for Christmas is...... YOU!!!
haa.. for whoever that picks my name, i know what i wanted!!! (: just wonder if you can really gets it here... (: if u do, i will be soooo happy! (see below k)
this or...
or this...
TADA! the last being my favourite!! the latest design.. haha but guess if i lay my hands on either one, will still be happy.. (:
initially saw this design on the watch, which i love it too! then i saw it on wristlet and i changed my love one!(:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
haven been posting for a while.. (:
well.. am really glad that i managed to have a chat with ah hui on faith and Christianity issues..
she has been one that i didnt get to talk much to about, thinking she only depends on herself. had a nice chat and am inviting her for Christmas service! (: praying that she and daniel can attend.
it is also a nice feeling to have ur good fren going with u for any of the wedding stuff.. (:
to be able to share some ideas and to laugh at some stuff or even to think of some stuff that the bf can never understand - the man just dont get it!
am glad that we settled one thing.. (:
a dream wedding...
haa.. for whoever that picks my name, i know what i wanted!!! (: just wonder if you can really gets it here... (: if u do, i will be soooo happy! (see below k)
this or...
or this...
TADA! the last being my favourite!! the latest design.. haha but guess if i lay my hands on either one, will still be happy.. (:
initially saw this design on the watch, which i love it too! then i saw it on wristlet and i changed my love one!(:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
haven been posting for a while.. (:
well.. am really glad that i managed to have a chat with ah hui on faith and Christianity issues..
she has been one that i didnt get to talk much to about, thinking she only depends on herself. had a nice chat and am inviting her for Christmas service! (: praying that she and daniel can attend.
it is also a nice feeling to have ur good fren going with u for any of the wedding stuff.. (:
to be able to share some ideas and to laugh at some stuff or even to think of some stuff that the bf can never understand - the man just dont get it!
am glad that we settled one thing.. (:
a dream wedding...
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
:)
I had fun at the GB camp!!! :) guess I do miss spending time with GB girls.. :)
Am glad too we can start our bs soon! ;)
Really hope more girls can come but also scare am inadequate :(
What I was glad was the bf visit! Haa, though not directly, but still feel good abt it :) haa..
Dunno why these few days been rather weird.. Hai :(
Ah.. Drop it... Sian...
Anyway this post is for me to try out using iphone.. :)
Am glad too we can start our bs soon! ;)
Really hope more girls can come but also scare am inadequate :(
What I was glad was the bf visit! Haa, though not directly, but still feel good abt it :) haa..
Dunno why these few days been rather weird.. Hai :(
Ah.. Drop it... Sian...
Anyway this post is for me to try out using iphone.. :)
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
came across this on facebook.. how i miss the younger days!
playing the childish games and sweating ourselves out... (:
here's the sch song!
we belong to woodsville primary school
we always obey the golden rule
early to bed and early to rise
off to school to learn to be wise
we appear well-groomed and neatly dressed
all prepared to do our best
with keen minds and eager hands
we will work as hard... as ants
to woodsville, woodsville, here we come
to the school that greets the rising sun
always prevail through perseverance
onwards everyone
playing the childish games and sweating ourselves out... (:
here's the sch song!
we belong to woodsville primary school
we always obey the golden rule
early to bed and early to rise
off to school to learn to be wise
we appear well-groomed and neatly dressed
all prepared to do our best
with keen minds and eager hands
we will work as hard... as ants
to woodsville, woodsville, here we come
to the school that greets the rising sun
always prevail through perseverance
onwards everyone
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Forgiveness is the glue that repairs broken relationships
yup.. this is what i read in QT today online..
is forgiveness easy? haa.. to me it seems easy.. maybe cos i am forgetful.. (:
cant help to feel sad that is it for a decade yr of friendship.. laughing at so many things in the past.. but now no longer.. dun really know where i can hide so i dun see ur face and thus can hide my feelings too... this is it! tired to ponder how.. just looking ahead..
hai, felt so choked.. it has been a while and yet we gonna talk abt it again..
feeling a little dread abt it, but i know it will help u..
i am bored @ work..
then read QT on this.. and i thot of the many many things that went through recently..
today's yahoo headline, the recent flats have been over subscribed! right...
haa.. am excited abt it.. but guess pretty much is the same result as the previous time.. :(
looking forward though... (:
yup.. this is what i read in QT today online..
is forgiveness easy? haa.. to me it seems easy.. maybe cos i am forgetful.. (:
cant help to feel sad that is it for a decade yr of friendship.. laughing at so many things in the past.. but now no longer.. dun really know where i can hide so i dun see ur face and thus can hide my feelings too... this is it! tired to ponder how.. just looking ahead..
hai, felt so choked.. it has been a while and yet we gonna talk abt it again..
feeling a little dread abt it, but i know it will help u..
i am bored @ work..
then read QT on this.. and i thot of the many many things that went through recently..
today's yahoo headline, the recent flats have been over subscribed! right...
haa.. am excited abt it.. but guess pretty much is the same result as the previous time.. :(
looking forward though... (:
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