As I recalled last week heading to TMC to be induced till Abby is out.. I still have that tinge if feeling in me. The fear of the painful process..
I was induced in the morning at 10am. We headed for breakfast and walked ard UE sq before heading back at 1pm. I was already 1.5-2cm dilation. I can feel the contractions, the backache and pain in the lower abdominal. It worsen as we head back to TMC the 2nd time after lunch.. And the irony is supposed to have a good meal before 'push' but I had an interesting sweet & sour rice. Thankfully, I didn't feel hungry after birth.
While waiting for admission, my contractions worsen, it felt like I am having a bad cramp and stomachache. Think only women will understand. Finally admitted, I was checked for dilation and to have water bag burst. Not a nice sight, but the experience frightened me even as I think abt it now. It was also awkward to walk with the pad in between legs and to clear bowels. Seriously, I will appreciate some warning as to what is to be expected. After bursting of water bag, everything seems to move very fast. I was ushered into delivery ward after I cleared my bowels.
Next is to be on drip, it supposed to speed up dilation. I think I have fear for drip hence I wanted to delay the whole process so I can breath and understand the situation. I asked for 2nd toilet break but was rejected :( hence I actually poo before bb is out. Too bad. I am still fearful of the drip. I tried to lun as long as I can for the epidural, however I gave in near 4cm dilation and was too painful to know the process for epi. Thankfully the doc tell me each step he be taking, which made it felt better.
Once epi is up, the whole process seems to speed up even more, by 11pm I am 7cm dilation and by 12am 9cm so the nurses preparing for Abby's arrival! By 1am, I have managed to 'push' her out, of cos with the help of the doc too. She was out with the help of forcep. Looking at her size, I can imagine how big my wound can be too. So scary :x though I can't feel but I can tell is a big big wound :x thankfully I didn't feel much pain after epi wore out. But I know after birth, I am too tired to do anything but to let the doc stitched me up and clear whatever he needed to. I was filled with joy when Abby was placed on top of me, bloody, crying.. She had umbilical cord round her neck twice. I couldn't imagine the worst to hear after carrying her in me for 40weeks. Thank God for His protection.
After all, most importantly is that Abby is out safe and healthy. It doesn't make me feel tired looking at her each moment. I can just watch her every movement, it brings so much joy in my heart. I love you Abby! May you grow strong in health despite ma ma's bad managing you, and grow in wisdom and faith in God!
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